(no subject)
For no reason whatsoever, I am in seriously one of the worst moods I've been in for a really long time. I just wanna growl at everything very indimidatingly and throw things around ineffectually and burst into tears spontaneously. Rawr. I mean seriously. Rawr.
Maybe its because I have writer's block. Although, looking back at my work over the past few years, looking at it seriously, I don't think I ever didn't have writer's block.
... see? Did that sentence even make sense? No!
Anyway. Whereas before I was at least comfortable with what I was writing while I was writing it, if not after, now I delete entire paragraphs, entire pages, seconds after I type them. I'm tempted to throw down my laptop in disgust. For the first time in my life, I have no stories in my head. I have disconnected images, I have feelings, I have people that I want to turn into stories, but whatever I start, I give up on in about five minutes. I read back on things I've started, things I was so excited about when I started them, and I delete the entire thing, because modern me can't figure out where the hell it was going.
My mom says its because I don't have the leisure time to sit down and work on a story, but when am I ever gonna have that time? Life doesn't get any less busy than during summer vacation! Soon I'm gonna have school, then a job, then life (whatever that means)... when am I supposed to sit down and be inspired?
Argh. Chrissy, my book sucks. It sucks. Don't judge me when you read it, because I'm perfectly aware of the fact. I reread it again today and I almost cried. I just don't LIKE it anymore. I wanna give up on it but I have so much invested in that god damn book and those stupid characters that I can't leave it unfinished.
I am so frustrated. I cannot believe how frustrated I am. Screw being a writer, seriously, just screw it. I'll be a teacher who used to want to be a writer and that's what I'll settle for, and I'll be friggin happy with it if I have to.
Arrrgghhhhhh.
Maybe its because I have writer's block. Although, looking back at my work over the past few years, looking at it seriously, I don't think I ever didn't have writer's block.
... see? Did that sentence even make sense? No!
Anyway. Whereas before I was at least comfortable with what I was writing while I was writing it, if not after, now I delete entire paragraphs, entire pages, seconds after I type them. I'm tempted to throw down my laptop in disgust. For the first time in my life, I have no stories in my head. I have disconnected images, I have feelings, I have people that I want to turn into stories, but whatever I start, I give up on in about five minutes. I read back on things I've started, things I was so excited about when I started them, and I delete the entire thing, because modern me can't figure out where the hell it was going.
My mom says its because I don't have the leisure time to sit down and work on a story, but when am I ever gonna have that time? Life doesn't get any less busy than during summer vacation! Soon I'm gonna have school, then a job, then life (whatever that means)... when am I supposed to sit down and be inspired?
Argh. Chrissy, my book sucks. It sucks. Don't judge me when you read it, because I'm perfectly aware of the fact. I reread it again today and I almost cried. I just don't LIKE it anymore. I wanna give up on it but I have so much invested in that god damn book and those stupid characters that I can't leave it unfinished.
I am so frustrated. I cannot believe how frustrated I am. Screw being a writer, seriously, just screw it. I'll be a teacher who used to want to be a writer and that's what I'll settle for, and I'll be friggin happy with it if I have to.
Arrrgghhhhhh.