(no subject)
i hate not being needed. or, at least not feeling like you're needed.
i feel like im lost, sort of like i will never find complete happiness.
i am happy, honest. but. not completely. i look around and see love. whether it be people just casually kissing, or complete and total romance blooming.
i want to be wanted. i long for it. the one i need, i dont think needs me.
theres something empty inside that needs... completely needs to be filled.
there is something missing. im growing up. my feelings are.. my mind doesnt want to. my instinct to have a family and settle is kicking in, but my moods, and feelings, and body..all dont want it yet. i want to find 'the one' but its complicated when my heart is to scared to get hurt. i dont know how to tell who is my soul mate. and what if i think im supposed to live with one person for the rest of my life and, im wrong.
i want the kind of love that explodes whenever i see them, it makes me want them more and more whenever i see, hear, or feel them. i want to hold hands, i want to kiss, i want to feel the rapid beating of a lovers heart on mine.
i want it to fel like we are one person, forever, i want to feel like we are never close enough.
i want to feel love. pure, true love. again and again.
i dont need to be wrong, it just fucks everything up.
i really like talking to people about this stuff, espically when they understand what im talking about. im not usually too open about my thoughts and feelings, im always scared they will be out down. but thank you for talking to me tonight in the car, i needed to get my feelings and thoughts out..
at least to someone other than the little black keys on my laptop.
im just glas i can talk to someone whose not involved, so i don have to hold back anything, i dont have to worry about saying something that will hurt them.
i need someone to love me, as much as i love them.
i need someone badly.
but, my mind wants to be alone. single.
i want to 'test the water' and find someone, but in order to do that... hearts will be crushed, and someone will get hurt.
thats what kills me.
it murders me.
i feel like im lost, sort of like i will never find complete happiness.
i am happy, honest. but. not completely. i look around and see love. whether it be people just casually kissing, or complete and total romance blooming.
i want to be wanted. i long for it. the one i need, i dont think needs me.
theres something empty inside that needs... completely needs to be filled.
there is something missing. im growing up. my feelings are.. my mind doesnt want to. my instinct to have a family and settle is kicking in, but my moods, and feelings, and body..all dont want it yet. i want to find 'the one' but its complicated when my heart is to scared to get hurt. i dont know how to tell who is my soul mate. and what if i think im supposed to live with one person for the rest of my life and, im wrong.
i want the kind of love that explodes whenever i see them, it makes me want them more and more whenever i see, hear, or feel them. i want to hold hands, i want to kiss, i want to feel the rapid beating of a lovers heart on mine.
i want it to fel like we are one person, forever, i want to feel like we are never close enough.
i want to feel love. pure, true love. again and again.
i dont need to be wrong, it just fucks everything up.
i really like talking to people about this stuff, espically when they understand what im talking about. im not usually too open about my thoughts and feelings, im always scared they will be out down. but thank you for talking to me tonight in the car, i needed to get my feelings and thoughts out..
at least to someone other than the little black keys on my laptop.
im just glas i can talk to someone whose not involved, so i don have to hold back anything, i dont have to worry about saying something that will hurt them.
i need someone to love me, as much as i love them.
i need someone badly.
but, my mind wants to be alone. single.
i want to 'test the water' and find someone, but in order to do that... hearts will be crushed, and someone will get hurt.
thats what kills me.
it murders me.