As soon as Arthur closed his bedroom door on his father's retreating form, he hurried over to Merlin and turned him back on. Merlin's bright eyes made contact with his as they had a hundred times in the past, but once Merlin's memory loaded the cheerful light that shone in them faded to a weak glow. He touched Arthur's cheek with his finger as if to comfort him, even though the tears were already welling up in his own eyes.
"Don't worry about what my father said," Arthur said. He gathered Merlin into his arms. "We'll figure it out. As long as we're together, nothing else matters."
Rather than hug him back as he usually did, Merlin touched his chin with his fingertips and shook his head sadly. The dread Arthur had felt when he walked into the house, recently replaced by pride at finally having stood up to his father, returned tenfold. Arthur could bear anything other than Merlin pushing him away. He'd fallen for Merlin too hard to turn back now.
"What do you mean, 'no'? Don't you still like me?"
Merlin squeezed his arm and Arthur exhaled in relief. Okay. At least they had that.
"Are you worried I'm going to do what he ordered and dismantle you?"
Merlin touched his chin.
"I would never. I don't care what he says." This kind of conversation was so impossible to have when Merlin's replies were limited to squeezing his arm or touching his chin. He couldn't wait to take Merlin to Gaius, if indeed the older engineer, who'd enjoyed renown when robotic speech was still something that excited people, but had since been marginalised to such an extent that he was forced to live on his earnings from routine repairs, would be able to do what he claimed. There were risks involved, Gaius had warned. Merlin would have to be fitted with new mechanical parts to create sound, and speakers so he could be heard, and he'd have to be loaded with another program to understand how to use them, and how to form words. The procedure was complicated. Even if Gaius could track down the parts, which were sold only on the blackmarket now, something could go wrong in the update, and with the new software, Gaius couldn't guarantee Merlin's personality would remain unaltered. Arthur felt as terrified as if he was contemplating scheduling a major surgery. Even if everything went according to plan, they'd have to be careful, so careful, that no one but Arthur ever heard Merlin speak, or Merlin would be repossessed and destroyed, and Arthur himself fined, or worse. "I told him I wouldn't give you up. I'd rather he disinherited me. I'd rather forget about uni and find whatever job I can to support us. I'd rather anything than let you go now that I've found you."
This time Merlin brushed their lips together, tantalizingly close, and when they broke apart he looked even more miserable than before, but resigned. He didn't protest when Arthur picked him up and carried him into the bed, where they clung to each other, all of Arthur's focus devoted to the press of Merlin's sweet mouth against his own. He drew his hand over Merlin's hair again and again and poured nonsensical reassurances into Merlin's ear. Nothing else mattered as long as he could have this, Arthur told himself. Nothing else mattered.
"Don't worry about what my father said," Arthur said. He gathered Merlin into his arms. "We'll figure it out. As long as we're together, nothing else matters."
Rather than hug him back as he usually did, Merlin touched his chin with his fingertips and shook his head sadly. The dread Arthur had felt when he walked into the house, recently replaced by pride at finally having stood up to his father, returned tenfold. Arthur could bear anything other than Merlin pushing him away. He'd fallen for Merlin too hard to turn back now.
"What do you mean, 'no'? Don't you still like me?"
Merlin squeezed his arm and Arthur exhaled in relief. Okay. At least they had that.
"Are you worried I'm going to do what he ordered and dismantle you?"
Merlin touched his chin.
"I would never. I don't care what he says." This kind of conversation was so impossible to have when Merlin's replies were limited to squeezing his arm or touching his chin. He couldn't wait to take Merlin to Gaius, if indeed the older engineer, who'd enjoyed renown when robotic speech was still something that excited people, but had since been marginalised to such an extent that he was forced to live on his earnings from routine repairs, would be able to do what he claimed. There were risks involved, Gaius had warned. Merlin would have to be fitted with new mechanical parts to create sound, and speakers so he could be heard, and he'd have to be loaded with another program to understand how to use them, and how to form words. The procedure was complicated. Even if Gaius could track down the parts, which were sold only on the blackmarket now, something could go wrong in the update, and with the new software, Gaius couldn't guarantee Merlin's personality would remain unaltered. Arthur felt as terrified as if he was contemplating scheduling a major surgery. Even if everything went according to plan, they'd have to be careful, so careful, that no one but Arthur ever heard Merlin speak, or Merlin would be repossessed and destroyed, and Arthur himself fined, or worse. "I told him I wouldn't give you up. I'd rather he disinherited me. I'd rather forget about uni and find whatever job I can to support us. I'd rather anything than let you go now that I've found you."
This time Merlin brushed their lips together, tantalizingly close, and when they broke apart he looked even more miserable than before, but resigned. He didn't protest when Arthur picked him up and carried him into the bed, where they clung to each other, all of Arthur's focus devoted to the press of Merlin's sweet mouth against his own. He drew his hand over Merlin's hair again and again and poured nonsensical reassurances into Merlin's ear. Nothing else mattered as long as he could have this, Arthur told himself. Nothing else mattered.
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