Merlin lay on his back in his customary spot on the bed, but his face was angled towards the wall and Arthur couldn't make out his expression.
"Hey," Arthur said, but Merlin ignored him. It was weird, almost like Merlin was upset with him. He'd never behaved like this before. Arthur put his finger under Merlin's chin and made him look at him, but Merlin kept his eyes down.
"I'm sorry. That was all my fault," Arthur said. "I really like you, robot and all."
Merlin didn't move.
"Don't be angry. Please."
Merlin raised his beautiful eyes then, and Arthur realised how completely fucked he was. What he'd said was true. He did like Merlin. Much more than he should. The house was dead silent except for the ticking of the clock downstairs, and with his father asleep in a different part of the house, they were alone. Arthur twisted under the bedsheets and sighed. He wondered what happened to George at night, if he was shut down and locked away in his father's cupboard. Arthur shuddered. Even if putting Merlin away was the right thing to do, it seemed almost inhuman, especially now. Arthur stared at the ceiling.
Then he felt a pressure under his chin, and Merlin was turning Arthur's face to him just as Arthur had done. Arthur tried not to look at Merlin, but Merlin was patient and waited. Arthur went hot all over at the inspection but couldn't meet Merlin's gaze. Was this some kind of program Merlin was running? Bots didn't have a will of their own. They weren't self-aware. Merlin couldn't want this. Him. The pressure under Arthur's chin grew more insistent and when Arthur finally surrendered and looked up, Merlin angled his face to the side. Arthur prepared to refuse what was coming.
Instead of kissing him, however, Merlin buried his face in Arthur's neck and slipped an arm around his waist and made no further movement. Arthur breathed a sigh of relief. Merlin's breath was hot on his skin and there was a trace of wetness as if Merlin had been upset. Arthur gave himself over to the embrace and rubbed his chin over Merlin's soft hair. He fingered the material of Merlin's shirt and scratched Merlin's shoulder.
"I wish things were different," Arthur whispered. "I wish you were real."
Merlin cuddled closer. He wrapped his arms tightly around Arthur and twisted his fingers in his clothes. Arthur rubbed his hand up and down Merlin's back until the shirt became dishevelled, and then Arthur slipped his hand beneath to sample the soft skin of Merlin's back. It was the first time he'd touched Merlin just to touch him, and not just to switch him off or on. Merlin responded by pressing his lips to Arthur's neck in a series of clumsy almost-kisses. Merlin might be running a program, but if he was, it didn't change how real it felt. Arthur traced the edges of the control panel and if Merlin had been human, the way he shivered in Arthur's arms would have betrayed his desires.
Could a bot have desires?
Arthur didn't know. Merlin learned things, made decisions, and took independent action everyday. He could distinguish between sensory stimulations that were harmful and those that were good. In some ways, Arthur wasn't much different himself, and he wondered what distinction he was making between his own self-consciousness and Merlin's machine consciousness, or even what self-awareness was. What was happening felt real and right to Arthur, and if it felt good to Merlin, too, then who was to tell them it wasn't real?
This is so good, anon!!! I'm so glad you've added to it!! I was afraid you weren't updating anymore. I love a lonely Arthur! And this Merlin is perfect. You are so sensitive to all the feelings Arthur is having, and they make so much sense. He is so thoughtful and unsure, and he is so young and has no guidance! I can't wait for more! Especially from Merlin! But there might always be that doubt--is it a program, or sentient feelings? In a way, it's like dealing with real people anyway, though, right, with what's 'real'? Okay, too serious! But I REALLY love it and was flipping when I saw it had been updated. <333
Merlin lay on his back in his customary spot on the bed, but his face was angled towards the wall and Arthur couldn't make out his expression.
"Hey," Arthur said, but Merlin ignored him. It was weird, almost like Merlin was upset with him. He'd never behaved like this before. Arthur put his finger under Merlin's chin and made him look at him, but Merlin kept his eyes down.
"I'm sorry. That was all my fault," Arthur said. "I really like you, robot and all."
Merlin didn't move.
"Don't be angry. Please."
Merlin raised his beautiful eyes then, and Arthur realised how completely fucked he was. What he'd said was true. He did like Merlin. Much more than he should. The house was dead silent except for the ticking of the clock downstairs, and with his father asleep in a different part of the house, they were alone. Arthur twisted under the bedsheets and sighed. He wondered what happened to George at night, if he was shut down and locked away in his father's cupboard. Arthur shuddered. Even if putting Merlin away was the right thing to do, it seemed almost inhuman, especially now. Arthur stared at the ceiling.
Then he felt a pressure under his chin, and Merlin was turning Arthur's face to him just as Arthur had done. Arthur tried not to look at Merlin, but Merlin was patient and waited. Arthur went hot all over at the inspection but couldn't meet Merlin's gaze. Was this some kind of program Merlin was running? Bots didn't have a will of their own. They weren't self-aware. Merlin couldn't want this. Him. The pressure under Arthur's chin grew more insistent and when Arthur finally surrendered and looked up, Merlin angled his face to the side. Arthur prepared to refuse what was coming.
Instead of kissing him, however, Merlin buried his face in Arthur's neck and slipped an arm around his waist and made no further movement. Arthur breathed a sigh of relief. Merlin's breath was hot on his skin and there was a trace of wetness as if Merlin had been upset. Arthur gave himself over to the embrace and rubbed his chin over Merlin's soft hair. He fingered the material of Merlin's shirt and scratched Merlin's shoulder.
"I wish things were different," Arthur whispered. "I wish you were real."
Merlin cuddled closer. He wrapped his arms tightly around Arthur and twisted his fingers in his clothes. Arthur rubbed his hand up and down Merlin's back until the shirt became dishevelled, and then Arthur slipped his hand beneath to sample the soft skin of Merlin's back. It was the first time he'd touched Merlin just to touch him, and not just to switch him off or on. Merlin responded by pressing his lips to Arthur's neck in a series of clumsy almost-kisses. Merlin might be running a program, but if he was, it didn't change how real it felt. Arthur traced the edges of the control panel and if Merlin had been human, the way he shivered in Arthur's arms would have betrayed his desires.
Could a bot have desires?
Arthur didn't know. Merlin learned things, made decisions, and took independent action everyday. He could distinguish between sensory stimulations that were harmful and those that were good. In some ways, Arthur wasn't much different himself, and he wondered what distinction he was making between his own self-consciousness and Merlin's machine consciousness, or even what self-awareness was. What was happening felt real and right to Arthur, and if it felt good to Merlin, too, then who was to tell them it wasn't real?
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