predreams
WOW. it has been awhile. no love for the LJ.
I have a big choice ahead of me. been messing things up because I don't know which way to go. I don't know what to do next and next is coming up fast.
My life has seemed more like a fiction story these days, except that the pain and pleasure is being directly fed into my brain. Can't just put down the book or turn of the tube.
Sometimes I feel like I am just waiting to hear that I have cancer. Then maybe I'll actually feel motivated to do something. I'd say it is time to "shit or get off the pot" except I think the rim of the pot is big enough for all of us to sit next to one another, hold hands and shit in unison.
My foot/leg is doing better. even ran a bit today. Played some Frisbee with a gal who I am smitten over. Either we will end up together or I'll be doomed to feel like there was a spark that never got a chance to blast off for the rest of my life. She reminds me of my mom a bit, which is comforting yet terrifying.
school is fucked. I am barley scrapping by this quarter. GPA is going to take a huge hit. moving on.
I can either take the summer off and take the 3 classes I need to graduate in the fall or keep pushing and be done before August. fuck if I know.
"I want my dick to spend the rest of my life inside your vagina. I know we only met a month ago but that just goes to show you that I have a good feeling about the long term outcome of our relationship." - Some movie in my head
I miss writing. what I say doesn't seem to have much meaning. o others that is. Still. it's an outlet for my emotions. inexpressible in everyday life. partly due to the nature of the information, partly because writing has it's own strengths that allow for specific ways of expression that would be lost in another communication medium.
big words don't sound so dumb when your reading them as when someone is saying them. Plus, you don't look like an idiot when you take time out to go look unknown words up.
I have stopped seeing a lot of people from my life. the old life? perhaps. just a different time. kind of wiped the slate a bit. Maybe I'll come back one day; reminisce. I figure if I change enough and put myself in different situations with different people, eventually I'll discover some kind of core to my being; some trend that seems to follow; learn a little about myself while expanding and exploring at the same time.
how low can you go? how high can you climb? how far is your reach? what can you take? what makes you break? where do you stop? when is it a good time to end?
ideas. I love ideas.
99% are pure "funny in the moment" bullshit. trick is to find a way to capitalize on the remaining 1%. Of course, I prefer to socialize on the 1% but that never really works out the way it does in my dreams.
well, that's not true. TLDM. Debatable whether that "worked out" or not though.
The winds are blowing a bit. not cold, just a breeze in the spring sun. Taking a bath in star light.
Need to cut some cords. Time to work on the van. time to set the stage for who I am going to be for the next few years.
I have a big choice ahead of me. been messing things up because I don't know which way to go. I don't know what to do next and next is coming up fast.
My life has seemed more like a fiction story these days, except that the pain and pleasure is being directly fed into my brain. Can't just put down the book or turn of the tube.
Sometimes I feel like I am just waiting to hear that I have cancer. Then maybe I'll actually feel motivated to do something. I'd say it is time to "shit or get off the pot" except I think the rim of the pot is big enough for all of us to sit next to one another, hold hands and shit in unison.
My foot/leg is doing better. even ran a bit today. Played some Frisbee with a gal who I am smitten over. Either we will end up together or I'll be doomed to feel like there was a spark that never got a chance to blast off for the rest of my life. She reminds me of my mom a bit, which is comforting yet terrifying.
school is fucked. I am barley scrapping by this quarter. GPA is going to take a huge hit. moving on.
I can either take the summer off and take the 3 classes I need to graduate in the fall or keep pushing and be done before August. fuck if I know.
"I want my dick to spend the rest of my life inside your vagina. I know we only met a month ago but that just goes to show you that I have a good feeling about the long term outcome of our relationship." - Some movie in my head
I miss writing. what I say doesn't seem to have much meaning. o others that is. Still. it's an outlet for my emotions. inexpressible in everyday life. partly due to the nature of the information, partly because writing has it's own strengths that allow for specific ways of expression that would be lost in another communication medium.
big words don't sound so dumb when your reading them as when someone is saying them. Plus, you don't look like an idiot when you take time out to go look unknown words up.
I have stopped seeing a lot of people from my life. the old life? perhaps. just a different time. kind of wiped the slate a bit. Maybe I'll come back one day; reminisce. I figure if I change enough and put myself in different situations with different people, eventually I'll discover some kind of core to my being; some trend that seems to follow; learn a little about myself while expanding and exploring at the same time.
how low can you go? how high can you climb? how far is your reach? what can you take? what makes you break? where do you stop? when is it a good time to end?
ideas. I love ideas.
99% are pure "funny in the moment" bullshit. trick is to find a way to capitalize on the remaining 1%. Of course, I prefer to socialize on the 1% but that never really works out the way it does in my dreams.
well, that's not true. TLDM. Debatable whether that "worked out" or not though.
The winds are blowing a bit. not cold, just a breeze in the spring sun. Taking a bath in star light.
Need to cut some cords. Time to work on the van. time to set the stage for who I am going to be for the next few years.