[TM] Phone Calls Coming and Going

[taughtbykerouac]

Xander rubbed the back of his head hard with the heel of his hand. Oz and him had been making phone calls, and mostly leaving messages with everyone that he could sort out needed to know the truth. Orlando was still making arrangements Xander was sure, but it wasn't the point to fill everyone in on the details. It was just to let them know that

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[_wishingwillow_]

Willow had no choice but to drive back to Boston, considering the bads she had with her. There were certain things that were simply not safe to check, or to pass through airport security. But she had been so lost in her own thoughts that she never even heard the phone ring, at least until the voicemail notification came through. It occured to her, in the way that those moments happen, just how shaken she still was. Self awareness was key, and she pulled into the closest rest stop to return Xander's call, waiting for the sound of his voice on the other line.

[taughtbykerouac]

His cell phone had been ringing pretty often, and he barely let the caller ID register because he just prepared himself for someone else that he hadn't spoken to in so long. It was just upsetting that it took the death of Cordelia for him to actually talk to these people again. Still it was better now, than too late... as it was he already lost Cordelia.

When his cell rang again he sighed and finally let the caller ID pick up the number, a tiny smile creeped onto his face, he was glad it was finally someone he knew, and knew well, and wanted to hear from, "Willow, I'm so glad it's you. If I had to tell one more person that I didn't know anything else... This isn't fair."

[_wishingwillow_]

There it was again, that same hitch of the strange in the voice she knew so well. The one she had only heard two, maybe three times before. It reminded Willow just how wrong everything was.

"Xander." There was something in her voice too, almost as if she was listening to it on playback. It always sounded like not-you. This was not her. "You aren't doing this by yourself, are you?"

[taughtbykerouac]

The weight was slowly pulling him apart at the seams. Seams that he knew hadn't really been stitched up as tight as they used to be. Loss... loss wasn't something Xander dealt with exactly with great ease. Anya... it had taken him going to great lengths to deal with Anya's death, and even that still was almost too much for him to do for everyone that passed away. He was just never good at these things... no one should be either.

Hearing her concern, and the distance in her voice, the worry as well it brought him back in a bit, "No... Oz was here. There were too many calls to make, and Orlando's doing the actual arrangements... I just wanted to help. I feel like I didn't help enough... it was a car accident Wills... something could have been changed."

[_wishingwillow_]

"Oz," Willow repeated, the single word saying as much with the silence as everything else. They had always communicated -- differently. "I am glad he was with you," she offered.

Then she considered her own car around her, the sounds of more of them speeding by on the nearby highway.

It was a car accident...

It was a gunshot.

"Oh Xan," she murmered. "Sometimes it can't be."

This, from the one who had learned that lesson the hard way.

[taughtbykerouac]

He smiled softly, "I know Wills. It just sounds better to say it, instead of believing it all is supposed to be like this." He paused wondering where she was, "Do I hear traffic? God Willow please tell me you pulled over. Where are you?"

He had a bit of panic to his voice, but he knew Willow was smart, but it still worried him a bit.

[_wishingwillow_]

"I'm just about an hour away from Boston," she attempted to sooth him. "And yes, I pulled over. The rest stop just isn't very far from the road."

Now came the important part.

"I will be there tonight."