Soft Shelled Crab

[tatyannamw]

Ok folks..this is what just happened. I sat here writing this poem with every intention on making it a filtered friends post...meaning only LJ members I specified could read it. But then as I finsihed the last few lines, I realized that was just another way of retreating. It just feels right to share this openly.

SOFT SHELLED CRAB

There the shell sits
It's a hard thick shell
I shed it a few weeks ago
And forgot it was there

As the fear in the air thickens
It settles on my skin and sends a chill through me
I realize the shell won't go away
I have no desire to crawl up under it's coldness

I am being stalked by a shell!
Now I am fearful of the shell itself
It's a distraction from feeling the real fears
Very clever little shell indeed

I have met a new fear with each change of the sun
In the cool morning I felt the intimidation of the future
In the heat of noon I felt vulnerable to my past
In the mist of the evening I felt unable to express my pain

The Moon is my solace
She envelopes me in safe silver light
When she enters the shell fades
She holds me near and I feel calm

So here I sit atop the shell, looking out over my fears
I somehow now see them with clear eyes
I realize that the shell is a tool and not my enemy
But yet I think it's time to trade this shell for another