Post Request MeMe: The Bad, The Good...the Ugly
Ok. Here is one of the topics requested by ya'll. I am starting with the bad(as in my subject line).
This was requested by my long time friend chimeramagazine
How about stuff that bothers you that you keep inside your "crab" shell? :
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As many of you know, my sun sign is Cancer. My rising sign is Aries, so my ability to feel my anger is heightened as well as my assertiveness. I am not a typical Cancer, in that way. However, I do have things I keep hidden under my shell and the Aries adds to my discomfort with being vulnerable. In fact, I keep many things to myself even though it may seem to many that I am an open book.
Since I am going to talk about my intolerances in another requested post, I will stick with the type of things that are hidden under my shell and why. There are many things I keep to myself, but this one speaks to my core.
Most people that know me, irl and online, would tell you that I am very independent and strong and very open about my life. I am, at my core, a strong and resilient person. Many things that bother other people in daily life slide off my back because I don't take things too seriously. I am very laid back, which makes me a "cool chick" to men I have dated. I don't ask for much. I don't seem to need much. But, on the inside I am quite vulnerable and have several habits that protect that part of me very well.
The thing that is at the core of what bothers me is dishonesty. Dishonesty with me and with oneself. I have learned over the years to be more vocal about my feelings when someone is being deceitful or outright telling me lies. But, I will still hold my tongue if I think that the request for honesty will somehow make me more vulnerable when I do not feel safe. I did this with my father for most of my life until about 2 years ago. I have done this is my romantic relationships as well.
My current habit is to make sure folks around me know how important honesty is to me. I talk about it often. This seems to work for the most part. But, because those who I am close to know of my vulnerability they sometimes make choices to hide things from me that they think I cannot handle. This is a big mistake.
I ask for and want honesty. Seriously. I'm not just saying that(which many women do). It has always been the case, and even more so now, that my natural empathic abilities allow me(for better or worse) to pick up on the energy when I am being deceived or lied to. In fact, if someone is deliberately trying to hide things from me I feel it even stronger and can sometimes see/hear/feel what is being withheld.
Just because I don't confront the person, it should not give them the sense that they have succeeded in keeping things from me. Over the years there have been many people I have "given a pass" because I know they have a hard time dealing with the fact that I know the truth or know they lied and that it hurt me.
This habit has given some the impression that I fear intimacy. That is not the case. Some folks know more about me in a week than other will in a lifetime. What I fear is being deceived. If someone is lying to me or keeping things from me that affect me or our friendship/relationship, etc., then I will shut down in a millisecond and you will be hard pressed to open me back up. A whole part of me will be lost to you and you may never know it. You will never meet that part of me. But, if a person is truly able to be honest and open with me, I open up like a flower that got it's fill of water and sunshine.
This was requested by my long time friend chimeramagazine
How about stuff that bothers you that you keep inside your "crab" shell? :
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As many of you know, my sun sign is Cancer. My rising sign is Aries, so my ability to feel my anger is heightened as well as my assertiveness. I am not a typical Cancer, in that way. However, I do have things I keep hidden under my shell and the Aries adds to my discomfort with being vulnerable. In fact, I keep many things to myself even though it may seem to many that I am an open book.
Since I am going to talk about my intolerances in another requested post, I will stick with the type of things that are hidden under my shell and why. There are many things I keep to myself, but this one speaks to my core.
Most people that know me, irl and online, would tell you that I am very independent and strong and very open about my life. I am, at my core, a strong and resilient person. Many things that bother other people in daily life slide off my back because I don't take things too seriously. I am very laid back, which makes me a "cool chick" to men I have dated. I don't ask for much. I don't seem to need much. But, on the inside I am quite vulnerable and have several habits that protect that part of me very well.
The thing that is at the core of what bothers me is dishonesty. Dishonesty with me and with oneself. I have learned over the years to be more vocal about my feelings when someone is being deceitful or outright telling me lies. But, I will still hold my tongue if I think that the request for honesty will somehow make me more vulnerable when I do not feel safe. I did this with my father for most of my life until about 2 years ago. I have done this is my romantic relationships as well.
My current habit is to make sure folks around me know how important honesty is to me. I talk about it often. This seems to work for the most part. But, because those who I am close to know of my vulnerability they sometimes make choices to hide things from me that they think I cannot handle. This is a big mistake.
I ask for and want honesty. Seriously. I'm not just saying that(which many women do). It has always been the case, and even more so now, that my natural empathic abilities allow me(for better or worse) to pick up on the energy when I am being deceived or lied to. In fact, if someone is deliberately trying to hide things from me I feel it even stronger and can sometimes see/hear/feel what is being withheld.
Just because I don't confront the person, it should not give them the sense that they have succeeded in keeping things from me. Over the years there have been many people I have "given a pass" because I know they have a hard time dealing with the fact that I know the truth or know they lied and that it hurt me.
This habit has given some the impression that I fear intimacy. That is not the case. Some folks know more about me in a week than other will in a lifetime. What I fear is being deceived. If someone is lying to me or keeping things from me that affect me or our friendship/relationship, etc., then I will shut down in a millisecond and you will be hard pressed to open me back up. A whole part of me will be lost to you and you may never know it. You will never meet that part of me. But, if a person is truly able to be honest and open with me, I open up like a flower that got it's fill of water and sunshine.