Ugh.
so i hate the world currently. everything was going well until friday, when i got 3 wisdom teeth out. i wasn't really worried about it because i had one taken out before but it wasnt a big deal. silly me. the only way i've gotten through these past few days without killing myself is from the vicodin. now that they're gone i had to face reality. here it is tues/wed, my face is still swollen, my mouth still hurts, its difficult to talk, certain areas of my face is numb, all i can eat is ice cream, etc.
so finally sick of this i call the surgeons office and they tell me to come in. they take out my stitches which hurt, alot. then he tells me that i have a dry socket, which is why i'm in so much pain and my face is still swollen. then im like 'well why is my face numb' and he was like 'we probably hit a nerve or something, hopefully you should regain feeling in 6 months, if not then unfortunately it might be permanent' !!!! SERIOUSLY!? Then he proceeds to jam medicated gauze into my 'dry socket' and i just start hysterically crying. I am NOT one to cry in public, or to cry really at all, but the combination of the constant pain plus him telling me i may never feel my lips or chin again was too much. He keeps talking to me but i can't stop crying, he tells me to come back friday afternoon and i just run out of there to my car.
Now i really thought i had the crying under control so i went to the islip sbux to pick up my tips but this kid there kevin was like 'holy shit your face!' (meaning my swollen cheeks) and then continues on to say 'you look like you've been crying' which just fucking got me going again. not too bad but michelle takes me outside and i just start bawling again. i felt like such an asshole. i tell her i need to go because its rediculous i cannot control myself. i make it home. still crying. drew calls me and i can't answer because i'm hysterical. finally i calm down again just in time. he shows up, then chris shows up. i see joe cole score the winning goal for the chelsea game then we watched Chinatown together and then i let them play wii.
All is well until my dad comes home and i throw another pity party for myself. Seriously. I called out of work hysterically crying to my manager 'Carrie, are you ok?' 'NO, I'm not OK Joe.' More feeling like an asshole for crying on the phone to him.
I know this sounds so rediculous and stupid. Its just wisdom teeth and everyone goes through this. But having this much fucking pain for so long and then knowing that i may never feel my lips again, i'm sorry but its all too much for me right now. Add this shit on top of personal problems i've been having with certain boys lately, and it really is too much. I have one person telling me he can't even be my friend anymore, another one telling me hes in love with me. What the hell. I really want to take a few weeks off, go away, and come back with a tan and a new outlook on life. I need an escape, I need to deal with my issues. I need to be left alone, but at the same time, I don't want to be alone. Ugh.
so finally sick of this i call the surgeons office and they tell me to come in. they take out my stitches which hurt, alot. then he tells me that i have a dry socket, which is why i'm in so much pain and my face is still swollen. then im like 'well why is my face numb' and he was like 'we probably hit a nerve or something, hopefully you should regain feeling in 6 months, if not then unfortunately it might be permanent' !!!! SERIOUSLY!? Then he proceeds to jam medicated gauze into my 'dry socket' and i just start hysterically crying. I am NOT one to cry in public, or to cry really at all, but the combination of the constant pain plus him telling me i may never feel my lips or chin again was too much. He keeps talking to me but i can't stop crying, he tells me to come back friday afternoon and i just run out of there to my car.
Now i really thought i had the crying under control so i went to the islip sbux to pick up my tips but this kid there kevin was like 'holy shit your face!' (meaning my swollen cheeks) and then continues on to say 'you look like you've been crying' which just fucking got me going again. not too bad but michelle takes me outside and i just start bawling again. i felt like such an asshole. i tell her i need to go because its rediculous i cannot control myself. i make it home. still crying. drew calls me and i can't answer because i'm hysterical. finally i calm down again just in time. he shows up, then chris shows up. i see joe cole score the winning goal for the chelsea game then we watched Chinatown together and then i let them play wii.
All is well until my dad comes home and i throw another pity party for myself. Seriously. I called out of work hysterically crying to my manager 'Carrie, are you ok?' 'NO, I'm not OK Joe.' More feeling like an asshole for crying on the phone to him.
I know this sounds so rediculous and stupid. Its just wisdom teeth and everyone goes through this. But having this much fucking pain for so long and then knowing that i may never feel my lips again, i'm sorry but its all too much for me right now. Add this shit on top of personal problems i've been having with certain boys lately, and it really is too much. I have one person telling me he can't even be my friend anymore, another one telling me hes in love with me. What the hell. I really want to take a few weeks off, go away, and come back with a tan and a new outlook on life. I need an escape, I need to deal with my issues. I need to be left alone, but at the same time, I don't want to be alone. Ugh.