BLAH BLAH BLAH
Last night my friend J, took it upon herself to msg B and tell him everything.. and I mean EVERYTHING.... I was pissed off, but also shocked at the same time... I couldn't understand why she would do that to me! In a way I was also relieved, because it's out there now... out in the universe! He now knows!! But he hasn't really said much about it...not exactly the answer I was looking for. But I guess that is what I deserve cause I didn't deny it and I didn't admit it. I am not good enough for him either, so whatever!! He just told me what she said and I didn't really know what to say to him. I did apologize for it and told him that I hoped this wouldn't make shit weird with us and he was uncomfortable hanging out with me again and he said "It would take a hell of a lot more than that peanut** to make me not want to be around you".
So in some sick, twisted way, I am relieved to know that, but bummed because I guess I kinda hoped he would profess his undying love for me! HAHAHAHAHAHA... wow that sounds pretty pathetic when I say it! Sometimes I think he feels the same way, and the there are other times that I feel stupid to even think that! Then there is my other friend JB we'll call her..... she thinks that all this I have going on is stupid and childish! I don't get it... I was always there for her when she was going thru something like this with a guy she liked. So why can't she be supportive of this?????
He took me home to meet the fam yesterday! I am not going to lie, I was shitting my pants when he asked... and then the entire time I was on my way to his house! He picked me up... so cute... he had his younger brother with him, we'll call him 'A' ... when we got to the house, 'A' opened my door for me! It was the most adorable thing ever! I laughed and I think I scared the poor kid! Cause his face turned bright red! Oh well, that is what I live for!! I am not sure why I was so nervous to meet his mom... maybe it was partly because I was scared that she would see how I feel about her son... and I am not ready for that. Anyways, things went well and I think his mom likes me! We hung out and played pool for a while... he kicked my ass, I beat him once! I know, sad!!
Everytime I am with him I cannot stop laughing... my heart aches when I smell his skin and it sucks big time! He smells so friggen good! I can't stop staring at him either... and when he catches me, I am sure he thinks I am weird....but I can't stop, and I think it's because I am scared that I will forget what he looks like. And I don't want that to happen! *sigh*
(side note: Peanut** is what he calls me! )
So in some sick, twisted way, I am relieved to know that, but bummed because I guess I kinda hoped he would profess his undying love for me! HAHAHAHAHAHA... wow that sounds pretty pathetic when I say it! Sometimes I think he feels the same way, and the there are other times that I feel stupid to even think that! Then there is my other friend JB we'll call her..... she thinks that all this I have going on is stupid and childish! I don't get it... I was always there for her when she was going thru something like this with a guy she liked. So why can't she be supportive of this?????
He took me home to meet the fam yesterday! I am not going to lie, I was shitting my pants when he asked... and then the entire time I was on my way to his house! He picked me up... so cute... he had his younger brother with him, we'll call him 'A' ... when we got to the house, 'A' opened my door for me! It was the most adorable thing ever! I laughed and I think I scared the poor kid! Cause his face turned bright red! Oh well, that is what I live for!! I am not sure why I was so nervous to meet his mom... maybe it was partly because I was scared that she would see how I feel about her son... and I am not ready for that. Anyways, things went well and I think his mom likes me! We hung out and played pool for a while... he kicked my ass, I beat him once! I know, sad!!
Everytime I am with him I cannot stop laughing... my heart aches when I smell his skin and it sucks big time! He smells so friggen good! I can't stop staring at him either... and when he catches me, I am sure he thinks I am weird....but I can't stop, and I think it's because I am scared that I will forget what he looks like. And I don't want that to happen! *sigh*
(side note: Peanut** is what he calls me! )