(no subject)
Another thought on the continuous road to Not Feeling Like Crap: Recently I've had some really good days. What have I done differently? Calorie intake has varied widely, and doesn't seem correlated at all. I've increased salt rather a lot. Also various B vitamin intake. And soy intake. And carrot intake. So I'll keep up with those 4 factors, and we'll see what happens. 23andme says I'm heterozygous for SNPs at various places in the protein that processes folic acid, but the research is poor on those particular loci.
I've realized something, which I need to put in writing and launch into the world to solidify it.
I'm way to enwrapped in the CR mentality. Eating disorder? I don't think so. If you were to graph my preoccupation with food and eating habits, it's been pretty much the same with a dip during the 1st year or so after starting CR (because before I was concerned about getting ENOUGH calories, so I'd stuff my face at the end of a long day). I really have no regrets after a day of eating more than normal (unless it's in the middle of the night when I awaken starving, because it screws up my sleep tremendously).
However, I'm starting to get nit-picky about meal frequency, composition, etc.... optimization. What if I'm doing it wrong? What if I'm not getting the benefits?
You know what? That might have been a reasonable obsession when I was doubting my faith. After all, what else is there? But now it's becoming an idol. It's getting in the way?
So what if I'm doing it wrong? So what if I'm eating too frequently, and negating the effects? Why do I care? If I were really trusting God, I'd recognize that I'd be useful until I die, regardless of the state of my body. I could be demented in a wheelchair (worst case imaginable to me) and yet still serve God. For the rest of my brief life, I would still be content. And then comes death and we go to Heaven and supposedly that'll keep us entertained for eternity, but that's a nasty part of my thoughts that I've locked in pandora's box long ago and have no desire to open it back up, so let's change the subject. Life has always been a matter, to me, of doing things in the Best Possible Way. Why do x now, when it will be infinitely easier to do so tomorrow?
To a point, that's a good strategy. But my old PI is a stellar example of taking that to the extreme. Sometimes it's better to just get in there and screw things up. Like my current project. Ahem.
Speaking of. My old PI is apparently increasingly psychotic. He'll probably never get another student.... and I'm wondering what will become of it.
Another PI in our dept decided that he owns all the offices and his student should get a desk in an office when his lab has its own. University Politics: film at 11.
In other news, winter is coming, and I'm already feeling anxious.
I've realized something, which I need to put in writing and launch into the world to solidify it.
I'm way to enwrapped in the CR mentality. Eating disorder? I don't think so. If you were to graph my preoccupation with food and eating habits, it's been pretty much the same with a dip during the 1st year or so after starting CR (because before I was concerned about getting ENOUGH calories, so I'd stuff my face at the end of a long day). I really have no regrets after a day of eating more than normal (unless it's in the middle of the night when I awaken starving, because it screws up my sleep tremendously).
However, I'm starting to get nit-picky about meal frequency, composition, etc.... optimization. What if I'm doing it wrong? What if I'm not getting the benefits?
You know what? That might have been a reasonable obsession when I was doubting my faith. After all, what else is there? But now it's becoming an idol. It's getting in the way?
So what if I'm doing it wrong? So what if I'm eating too frequently, and negating the effects? Why do I care? If I were really trusting God, I'd recognize that I'd be useful until I die, regardless of the state of my body. I could be demented in a wheelchair (worst case imaginable to me) and yet still serve God. For the rest of my brief life, I would still be content. And then comes death and we go to Heaven and supposedly that'll keep us entertained for eternity, but that's a nasty part of my thoughts that I've locked in pandora's box long ago and have no desire to open it back up, so let's change the subject. Life has always been a matter, to me, of doing things in the Best Possible Way. Why do x now, when it will be infinitely easier to do so tomorrow?
To a point, that's a good strategy. But my old PI is a stellar example of taking that to the extreme. Sometimes it's better to just get in there and screw things up. Like my current project. Ahem.
Speaking of. My old PI is apparently increasingly psychotic. He'll probably never get another student.... and I'm wondering what will become of it.
Another PI in our dept decided that he owns all the offices and his student should get a desk in an office when his lab has its own. University Politics: film at 11.
In other news, winter is coming, and I'm already feeling anxious.