My first tarot deck. Thank you, Maat! :)
I don't feel ready to really write this blog the way I'd like to write it, but it's come to a point where I'd like to try. The emergence of this aspect of my being is textured, and there has been a lot that has gone into creating this emerging moment of my life.
I am a mystic. I have direct experience of the unseen part of you that is one with the unseen part of me. I hear The Silence. I see The Unseen. My words speak more through the silent gaps between my words than is said with the words themselves.
Thing is, you know this already. If you're reading these words and feel that warm glow within, you already know I am a mystic.
Masters don't teach the truth; there is no way to teach it. It is a transmission beyond scriptures, beyond words. It is a transmission. It is energy provoking energy in you. It is a kind of synchronicity.. . .
You have to approach the master with great love, with great trust, with an open heart. You are not aware who you are. He is aware who he is, he is aware who you are. The caterpillar might be said to be unaware that it may become a butterfly. You are caterpillars--bodhisattvas. All caterpillars are bodhisattvas and all bodhisattvas are caterpillars. A bodhisattva means one who can become a butterfly, who can become a buddha, who is a buddha in the seed, in essence. . .
The master/disciple relationship is a relationship between a caterpillar and a butterfly, a friendship between a caterpillar and a butterfly. The butterfly cannot prove that the caterpillar can become a butterfly; there is no logical way. But the butterfly can provoke a longing in the caterpillar--that is possible. (Ah This! by Osho; Chapter 1. Cited in Osho Zen Tarot, page 47.)
There are some moments that can only happen when one calls it forth with a voice prepared to embrace all that moment means. I think going to your first Burning Man event is like that, for example. I was invited 3 years before I finally went.
I think I just had such a moment. And I'd like to record the story of how it happened, as best I can, for it feels significant. And yet, from another perspective, it's really not that big a deal.
This is the story of how I was given my first deck of tarot cards. This is the story of beginning to realize--to make real--a new chapter of my mysticism, and I'd even say my mastery.
Maat has been a part of various counter-cultural movements since I was a teenager. Some call him, "been there, done that Maat." He is the one that gave me my first tarot card deck. It's humbling to realize how certain people repeatedly are there and play a role in those transformative moments of one's life.
At a different time, and in a different world, when I was far more bound to maya, I went to The Golden Braid, there in SLC, and I had my first tarot card reading. It was October 2002. It wasn't too big a deal, I was just curious. But it was an interesting experience.
Back then I didn't think people could really sense things the way I now sense things. The world of nonlinear spirit was all so new. My vision was limited.
From that time until very recently, tarot was more or less just an interesting hobby some people do. I thought people put a bit too much confidence in that hobby. It had an air of witchcraft about it, to me. I just didn't really resonate much with it. Though for at least two years, now, I wanted to have a deck of my own. I wasn't quite ready.
Then, strangely enough, three weeks ago I was listening to lectures on various ways to go about meeting, flirting, and picking up on girls. One guy got up and for around 20 minutes talked about reading palms and tarot card reading. He was a really generous, sweet, loving guy. Some guys who talked were womanizers, but not this guy at all. And he just talked at some length why he loved tarot, and how he goes about doing readings.
This was the first time a tarot card reader described his inner processes about what's going on during a tarot card reading, and I suddenly understood what is going on. It was a flash of inspiration. Archetype imagery. The attitude of inquiry. Reactions to what shows up. Sensing and reading what someone is hiding from themselves. Nonlinear transmission of information.
I suddenly really wanted a tarot card deck.
When I made it home, I shared this experience with Maat and Aaron, and then Sunday Maat presented me with my first deck of tarot cards.
Here is my deck: Osho Zen Tarot: The Transcendental Game of Zen
Osho Zen Tarot is definitely not a traditional tarot in the sense that you play with prediction. Rather it is a trasncendental game of Zen which mirrors the moment, unwaveringly presenting what is here, now, without judgment or comparison. This game is a wake-up call to tune in to sensitivity, intuition, compassion, receptivity, courage and individuality.
The focus on awareness is one of many innovations to the old systems of thinking of the tarot that will soon become obvious to the experienced users as they begin to work with the Osho Zen Tarot. (Osho Zen Tarot, "Introduction," page xiv.)
I spent around two hours on Sunday looking at the cards and reading their descriptions from the book. I was overwhelmed. The cards of the major acrana have to do with a progression from The Fool to The Master, with 21 stages/steps in between. The images are stunning.
In the traditional tarot deck this journey of self-discovery was perceived as a kind of spiral, with each Completion leading to a new level on the path, a new beginning with the re-entry of The Fool. In this deck, however, the Master card has been added. This card allows us to leave the spiral behind, to take a jump off the the wheel of death and rebirth. ("Introduction," page xiii - xiv.)
I suddenly had a vision of the potential for this tool in my life. Sometimes while I'm talking to a person about what's going on in their life, we hit a barrier, and I end up saying something that scares them. It's an awkward moment. It's not that I'm scary. It's that the information I'm giving is something they weren't quite ready to have a direct confrontation with.
I suddenly realized that this tarot card setting is a perfect. It creates a less-intimidating context. Plus, the symbols aren't quite so linear, they aren't quite so confrontational to the thinking mind, and much of what is said is said beyond the realm of words. And I realized that I could do this all the time, and instantly have even more wonderful experiences with people I hardly know. It creates a context where I can talk very deeply with people I know fairly well, without being threatening or confrontational.
So last night, I was at LeStat, a cafe in Normal Heights. I was chillin with Maat, and geeking out on free wifi. Then took out my deck and started looking at the pictures and reading the descriptions, continuing to become more familiar with my deck. The next table over, there sat down two girls who pulled out a deck or two and started looking at their deck.
We looked at each other. Had a moment of recognition. "I'm getting to know my new deck," I offered. "Oh, me too."
I suddenly knew they were open to playing with me. But I didn't feel I was quite ready. I didn't feel comfortable trying to do it. I did all I could to avoid having that moment. I'd keep my nose in my book and my deck. They'd continue, but as they'd read cards, they'd look at me as if to wonder what I thought of what they were saying.
I couldn't help it. I was intrigued by the energy of the moment, but I really didn't want to get into it cause I wasn't feeling ready to have my first moment like this.
I avoided it, avoided it, avoided it. Oh, and here's an interesting aspect of this whole encounter. The girls were young, very young. And they were very attractive. So here I was a 33-year-old man, watching 19-20 year old girls play with their tarot decks, and doing everything I could to avoid the encounter, but noticing they were intrigued by me.
So one of the girls asks me if I'd like a reading. "Sure," I say. I find out the girl is giving me her first reading. Her name is Steffi. She's intimidated by me, I can feel it.
Here's the part that was really tripping me out. I know she didn't do it quite right, but the cards I drew were still a dead-on ringer for what is going on in my life. (Incidentally, all my cards were royalty within the minor arcana, except my obstacle which was a 2 of coins and my reaction to the world which was a 3 of wands. The rest of them were court cards and major acrana cards. The cards said I'm going through a major transformation and that I'm about to experience amazing success, with the world reacting to me intensely. The past card was the paige of wands, and the future card was the king of wands, which was fascinating.)
So after going through my reading, the girl was delighted. And she says, "You should read me." So I do a reading for both of them. And I was a little nervous, but I enjoyed the moment.
And I realized something, and Maat pointed it out to me, too. There's an intimacy involved with this interaction. And you can instantly know if you have rapport with someone.
So yeah, this is the beginning of the next thing in my life. :)
I am a mystic. I have direct experience of the unseen part of you that is one with the unseen part of me. I hear The Silence. I see The Unseen. My words speak more through the silent gaps between my words than is said with the words themselves.
Thing is, you know this already. If you're reading these words and feel that warm glow within, you already know I am a mystic.
Masters don't teach the truth; there is no way to teach it. It is a transmission beyond scriptures, beyond words. It is a transmission. It is energy provoking energy in you. It is a kind of synchronicity.. . .
You have to approach the master with great love, with great trust, with an open heart. You are not aware who you are. He is aware who he is, he is aware who you are. The caterpillar might be said to be unaware that it may become a butterfly. You are caterpillars--bodhisattvas. All caterpillars are bodhisattvas and all bodhisattvas are caterpillars. A bodhisattva means one who can become a butterfly, who can become a buddha, who is a buddha in the seed, in essence. . .
The master/disciple relationship is a relationship between a caterpillar and a butterfly, a friendship between a caterpillar and a butterfly. The butterfly cannot prove that the caterpillar can become a butterfly; there is no logical way. But the butterfly can provoke a longing in the caterpillar--that is possible. (Ah This! by Osho; Chapter 1. Cited in Osho Zen Tarot, page 47.)
There are some moments that can only happen when one calls it forth with a voice prepared to embrace all that moment means. I think going to your first Burning Man event is like that, for example. I was invited 3 years before I finally went.
I think I just had such a moment. And I'd like to record the story of how it happened, as best I can, for it feels significant. And yet, from another perspective, it's really not that big a deal.
This is the story of how I was given my first deck of tarot cards. This is the story of beginning to realize--to make real--a new chapter of my mysticism, and I'd even say my mastery.
Maat has been a part of various counter-cultural movements since I was a teenager. Some call him, "been there, done that Maat." He is the one that gave me my first tarot card deck. It's humbling to realize how certain people repeatedly are there and play a role in those transformative moments of one's life.
At a different time, and in a different world, when I was far more bound to maya, I went to The Golden Braid, there in SLC, and I had my first tarot card reading. It was October 2002. It wasn't too big a deal, I was just curious. But it was an interesting experience.
Back then I didn't think people could really sense things the way I now sense things. The world of nonlinear spirit was all so new. My vision was limited.
From that time until very recently, tarot was more or less just an interesting hobby some people do. I thought people put a bit too much confidence in that hobby. It had an air of witchcraft about it, to me. I just didn't really resonate much with it. Though for at least two years, now, I wanted to have a deck of my own. I wasn't quite ready.
Then, strangely enough, three weeks ago I was listening to lectures on various ways to go about meeting, flirting, and picking up on girls. One guy got up and for around 20 minutes talked about reading palms and tarot card reading. He was a really generous, sweet, loving guy. Some guys who talked were womanizers, but not this guy at all. And he just talked at some length why he loved tarot, and how he goes about doing readings.
This was the first time a tarot card reader described his inner processes about what's going on during a tarot card reading, and I suddenly understood what is going on. It was a flash of inspiration. Archetype imagery. The attitude of inquiry. Reactions to what shows up. Sensing and reading what someone is hiding from themselves. Nonlinear transmission of information.
I suddenly really wanted a tarot card deck.
When I made it home, I shared this experience with Maat and Aaron, and then Sunday Maat presented me with my first deck of tarot cards.
Here is my deck: Osho Zen Tarot: The Transcendental Game of Zen
Osho Zen Tarot is definitely not a traditional tarot in the sense that you play with prediction. Rather it is a trasncendental game of Zen which mirrors the moment, unwaveringly presenting what is here, now, without judgment or comparison. This game is a wake-up call to tune in to sensitivity, intuition, compassion, receptivity, courage and individuality.
The focus on awareness is one of many innovations to the old systems of thinking of the tarot that will soon become obvious to the experienced users as they begin to work with the Osho Zen Tarot. (Osho Zen Tarot, "Introduction," page xiv.)
I spent around two hours on Sunday looking at the cards and reading their descriptions from the book. I was overwhelmed. The cards of the major acrana have to do with a progression from The Fool to The Master, with 21 stages/steps in between. The images are stunning.
In the traditional tarot deck this journey of self-discovery was perceived as a kind of spiral, with each Completion leading to a new level on the path, a new beginning with the re-entry of The Fool. In this deck, however, the Master card has been added. This card allows us to leave the spiral behind, to take a jump off the the wheel of death and rebirth. ("Introduction," page xiii - xiv.)
I suddenly had a vision of the potential for this tool in my life. Sometimes while I'm talking to a person about what's going on in their life, we hit a barrier, and I end up saying something that scares them. It's an awkward moment. It's not that I'm scary. It's that the information I'm giving is something they weren't quite ready to have a direct confrontation with.
I suddenly realized that this tarot card setting is a perfect. It creates a less-intimidating context. Plus, the symbols aren't quite so linear, they aren't quite so confrontational to the thinking mind, and much of what is said is said beyond the realm of words. And I realized that I could do this all the time, and instantly have even more wonderful experiences with people I hardly know. It creates a context where I can talk very deeply with people I know fairly well, without being threatening or confrontational.
So last night, I was at LeStat, a cafe in Normal Heights. I was chillin with Maat, and geeking out on free wifi. Then took out my deck and started looking at the pictures and reading the descriptions, continuing to become more familiar with my deck. The next table over, there sat down two girls who pulled out a deck or two and started looking at their deck.
We looked at each other. Had a moment of recognition. "I'm getting to know my new deck," I offered. "Oh, me too."
I suddenly knew they were open to playing with me. But I didn't feel I was quite ready. I didn't feel comfortable trying to do it. I did all I could to avoid having that moment. I'd keep my nose in my book and my deck. They'd continue, but as they'd read cards, they'd look at me as if to wonder what I thought of what they were saying.
I couldn't help it. I was intrigued by the energy of the moment, but I really didn't want to get into it cause I wasn't feeling ready to have my first moment like this.
I avoided it, avoided it, avoided it. Oh, and here's an interesting aspect of this whole encounter. The girls were young, very young. And they were very attractive. So here I was a 33-year-old man, watching 19-20 year old girls play with their tarot decks, and doing everything I could to avoid the encounter, but noticing they were intrigued by me.
So one of the girls asks me if I'd like a reading. "Sure," I say. I find out the girl is giving me her first reading. Her name is Steffi. She's intimidated by me, I can feel it.
Here's the part that was really tripping me out. I know she didn't do it quite right, but the cards I drew were still a dead-on ringer for what is going on in my life. (Incidentally, all my cards were royalty within the minor arcana, except my obstacle which was a 2 of coins and my reaction to the world which was a 3 of wands. The rest of them were court cards and major acrana cards. The cards said I'm going through a major transformation and that I'm about to experience amazing success, with the world reacting to me intensely. The past card was the paige of wands, and the future card was the king of wands, which was fascinating.)
So after going through my reading, the girl was delighted. And she says, "You should read me." So I do a reading for both of them. And I was a little nervous, but I enjoyed the moment.
And I realized something, and Maat pointed it out to me, too. There's an intimacy involved with this interaction. And you can instantly know if you have rapport with someone.
So yeah, this is the beginning of the next thing in my life. :)