women as abusers
http://kristy.livejournal.com/589919.html i used to read this chicks journal and at some point she unfriended me, probably because i never post, like ever. she never posted the details on whether she is still in or finally got out of this relationship but I feel bad for her either way. I have abit of a superhero complex and I like saving the day, I offer my time and services to help in order so people like me. So when i cant do anything at all it actually really effects me. As i read through the list of a potential abuser i noticed that the jekyll hyde thing is a problem I have. I often go from calm to incredibly angry when I feel that Amber is being stupid, when what i say is clearly the best course and she doesnt listen it makes me livid when the outcome is something that i didnt want and my solution would have changed it to something better. It also bothers me when im questioned on actions to do with the children and when things get broken through the childrens actions. I have found counting to 10 doesnt work and taking deep breaths just makes me breathe heavier and so i feel angrier, my solution is to run away avoid he situation and then come back when i can deal with it more calmly. the thing im wondering while looking at this list of criteria for an abuser alot of these things coinside with a controlling wife, my wife isnt at all in anyway controlling but my brother in law is literally about 90% of that list with his wife. I mean i dont think she beats him, but she hits him until he hits back (being from an abusive family he generaly takes it out on the wall) but in conversation he always defers to what his wife thinks she calls him all the time unless she has something going on, then she forgets his exists. she cuts him down and makes him out to be useless. spends all his money and doesnt really let him go out alone unless its to work. We have been in the city for over a year now and amber has onlyseen her brother once or maybe twice without his wife there too. I have also seen her on more than one accasion sack him or hit him with almost no provocation and laugh. I dont know why he doesnt leave her ass but then again I was the one who had to call the cops on my 10th birthday cause my stepdad was waving around a knife, my mom was surprised that there was a problem with the situation.