first VM fic!
Title: When I'm Doing With Endings This Can Begin
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Veronica expects Lilly to always be there, to always be a reminder of what she and Logan lost. But maybe Lilly's already gone. One shot. Logan/Veronica. Veronica's POV, third person. My first VM fic.
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or the Something Corporate lyrics, which is where the title came from.
A/N: First Veronica Mars fic, so be kind! Kind of goes along "A Trip to the Dentist" and "Leave it to Beaver". A little A/U-ish, in which Logan doesn't almost commit suicide and there's nobody at the door.
Lilly was killed a while ago. Veronica knows that. But, to Veronica, Lilly’s never really died. Nobody could kill Lilly Kane. She’s too alive to be dead. And, yes, Veronica hates herself for thinking it because it’s so irrational and so cliché, but Lilly’s never really left. She’s with Veronica everyday.
Veronica knows Lilly’s hovering over her and Logan. Neither of them saying anything, but she’s there. She’ll always be there. At least that’s how it feels.
Veronica wonders why Logan even wants to be with her. Half of her knows, and half of her thinks that maybe Logan’s using Veronica as a way to remember Lilly. Not like Veronica has Lilly’s carefree spirit, but that just the mere sight of Veronica can allow Logan to retrace memories of Lilly. All of Veronica just wants both halves to be quiet and just let her be with Logan. But deep down she knows, that maybe they’re both just together to just be with Lilly a little more.
Veronica lays on her bed, staring at the ceiling and drumming her fingers on the humid fabric of her shirt. She’s alone. Really alone.
She didn’t think she would leave, but Lilly’s gone. Veronica acknowledges the fact that she set unrealistic expectations, something that she doesn’t do too often.
The summer’s fading away and passing by with repetitive feeling. Veronica solves a few minor cases every once in a while, but they don’t occupy all of her time. Wallace is probably sick of her, and Veronica doesn’t blame him. Her dad’s got plenty of work and romance to keep him busy. Who knows where Weevil is, and it’s not as if Veronica’s going to call him up to go out and get an ice cream. Not that she would need to. Veronica’s always been fine on her own, hasn’t she?
But, fine, maybe Veronica’s been crossing the boundaries between independent and lonely. Maybe she just misses him.
Logan.
They pass by each other on the street every once in a while and act as if nothing ever happened. Veronica’s heart jumps in her chest a little, but her face stays the same and she doesn’t try to let him see anything.
Logan retains the same stone-faced expression too, and she wonders if his heart jumps too. Or maybe he really just doesn’t
Veronica’s done with pretending. Logan was her link back to Lilly, but he was also just Logan, and she was happy with that. She was happy with Logan.
But she made her sacrifice. She got rid of Logan for Lilly and it’s easier to think that that’s how it was all along. And that she’d end up right where she is.
Alone.
Besides, they know Veronica around here.