I've lost my passion?!
I'm not very good in stuff like talking about my own feelings, and maybe an Internet blog isn't the best choise, but, since my problem has bornt in Internet, maybe I can resolve it on Internet... Honestly I don't know, but I tried to ignore it and it didn't work, so what have I to loose?!
So, I have to start from the beginning. A month ago (more or less) a japanese guy texted me on Tandem (if you don't know what's Tandem, it is an application to learn languages chatting with other people of different mother-tongue): we started chat and slowly we became closer. We chatted everyday, and soon we didn't use Tamndem but Line. He is cute to me, and I started to like him, even if we were from two different countries, two different worlds, and we spoke in english, that's not our mother-tongue.
He said he liked me, and, even if I am not able to express my feeling (and being close to a guy makes me very embarassed), I liked him too, knowing that a relationship with him would have been very difficult (and just through chat application).
A few weeks ago we were chatting normally and, suddenly, he started to say me that one of his friend said him that he chatted with me and that I commented his photo, so he accused me to be a girl who use applications like Tandem to meet japanese guys. That is a lie, a big lie. I showed him every single chat I had with japanese guys (everything is ONLY to learn japanese, not to meet japanese guys!), but he didn't believe me, so I said "If you don't believe me, I won't talk to you again" and he said "ok, thank you everything".
So my dream ended. And, yes, it is sad, but the real problem comes later: I haven't watched japanese stuff, or listen to japanese music, or use Twitter like be4... I just continue downloading Chronicle episodes and sharing them here, but I have lost interest and passion. The problem is that he was japanese, and I have always admired japanese people. I know, perfectly, that also japanese have flaws, but in the moment in which I tested this on my own skin, it's like if something is broken. The "magic" around everything related to Japan disappeared. And I didn't want it. I want to rediscover that passion that allowed me to learn hiragana and katakana by my own, that allowed me to watch Chronicle without subtitle, even if I didn't understand nothing, that allowed me to enjoy jpop music, Kat-Tun, Eito, JWEST and so on.
I don' t know if this is temporary, I am afraid to not find my passion...
I don't know what to do.
So, I have to start from the beginning. A month ago (more or less) a japanese guy texted me on Tandem (if you don't know what's Tandem, it is an application to learn languages chatting with other people of different mother-tongue): we started chat and slowly we became closer. We chatted everyday, and soon we didn't use Tamndem but Line. He is cute to me, and I started to like him, even if we were from two different countries, two different worlds, and we spoke in english, that's not our mother-tongue.
He said he liked me, and, even if I am not able to express my feeling (and being close to a guy makes me very embarassed), I liked him too, knowing that a relationship with him would have been very difficult (and just through chat application).
A few weeks ago we were chatting normally and, suddenly, he started to say me that one of his friend said him that he chatted with me and that I commented his photo, so he accused me to be a girl who use applications like Tandem to meet japanese guys. That is a lie, a big lie. I showed him every single chat I had with japanese guys (everything is ONLY to learn japanese, not to meet japanese guys!), but he didn't believe me, so I said "If you don't believe me, I won't talk to you again" and he said "ok, thank you everything".
So my dream ended. And, yes, it is sad, but the real problem comes later: I haven't watched japanese stuff, or listen to japanese music, or use Twitter like be4... I just continue downloading Chronicle episodes and sharing them here, but I have lost interest and passion. The problem is that he was japanese, and I have always admired japanese people. I know, perfectly, that also japanese have flaws, but in the moment in which I tested this on my own skin, it's like if something is broken. The "magic" around everything related to Japan disappeared. And I didn't want it. I want to rediscover that passion that allowed me to learn hiragana and katakana by my own, that allowed me to watch Chronicle without subtitle, even if I didn't understand nothing, that allowed me to enjoy jpop music, Kat-Tun, Eito, JWEST and so on.
I don' t know if this is temporary, I am afraid to not find my passion...
I don't know what to do.