where to begin...
I don't know where to begin....
I spent half the night looking at and listening to my mom. I will probably do the same tonight. When I woke up this morning, my first thought was, "she's still alive, yay!" I mentioned it to someone, and I got the impression I was being selfish. I'm sorry, but it's my mom, and outwardly I show my support for my mom's decision, but on the inside, I'm falling apart at the fact I'm losing my mom, and every day I have with her now is a blessing.
I also made phone calls for my parents, and got absolutely no where. I called VHDA (for the house), and they couldn't help me in anyway, but they could take payment from me. I called the insurance company on the house, just to get information, but they couldn't talk to me. I called Wachovia Bank, where my dad's truck is fiananced, and they wouldn't even consider talking to me without me having a power of attorney. Everyone else would talk to me if they had authorization from my parents. Well, when my mom can't communicate (orally or written) with you, and my dad is in the hospital and I can't get to him, and I don't know when he's coming home, so how do they expect me to get that kind of stuff? So, I paid the mortgage payment, and went online and paid the power bill. I wasn't even gonna get into it with them. Then, I called my mom's life insurance agent, and I talked to him for at least 30 minutes about all of this. He's such a nice guy. And, it's hard for him, because his dad also has cancer right now, and he's going through a similar situation. So, we just talked. He told me he's been thinking about my mom, and wondering how things were going. He also said that when it does happen, to just have the funeral home contact him directly and let them worry about everything. So, that was a bit of a relief.
Then, I called Sunset Memorial Gardens. It's the cemetery where my mom's best friend's daughter is buried. My mom expressed her wish that she wanted to be buried near her best friend's daughter. We thought it wasn't going to be possible, because we thought that particular garden was full. Well, when I called, they said they were just opening up two grave sites in that area. Turns out, the grave sites are just across from where her friend's daughter is buried, and her friend and husband's grave sites are next to their daughter's, so my mom will be close to her as well. it was amazing that these two plots opened up just as we wanted them. So, the lady from Sunset came to the house and discussed everything with my brother and I, and we decided on everything for my mom, and for my dad. It was such a hard thing to do. I picked out both my parents' grave sites and everything. It wasn't so much that I wanted to, but it was necessary. And, by doing so ahead of time, we saved ourselves about $2,000.
I also asked a friend of my mom's to come spend some time with her while another friend took my brother and I to the hospital to visit with my dad. We got to the hospital, and their insurance agent was there visiting with my dad. It was kinda ironic, because he had asked me earlier, when we were on the phone if my dad would object to it. I told him no, and there he was when we got there. Anyway... he stayed for a little while, and we talked about things. He then left and I told my dad what I had done today. It was so hard to tell my dad that I just picked out his grave and what it would say and where it would be. It was really emotional. It is soooo difficult to have to go through this and explain everything. Later on, it made more sense. I did both, because there is no guarantee that 5, 10, 15 years down the road, when it comes my dad's time, that the plot next to mom will be there. And, we only had to make a deposit, and we have two options for payment. We can make monthly payments (in which the first payment isn't due for 45 days) or have the insurance pay for it. On top of that, if we chose the insurance method, both plots and everything related can be paid for up front. Otherwise, we only have to pay for mom's because that will be the one being used first.
I haven't cried like I did today in a really long time. It got so emotional seeing my dad cry and breakdown about the finality of all of this. Then he told me he has had thoughts of him being here with my mom, holding her hand, and the two of them going together. And, that did it for me. I just can't handle losing both my parents. I broke down. He told me it wouldn't happen. He wants grandkids. And, that made it worse. The one thing my mom has wanted more than anything is grandchildren. And, she's not going to get them. A part of me regrets that fact, but another part (the rational part) tells me I'm making the right choice by not going around having kids just because my parents want it. I have to be ready for it. Another thing that set me off was talk of walking me down the aisle. My mom has wanted so much to be a part of my wedding, and I'm not married. I don't know when I will be. She always wanted me to wait until she got a house so I could have the reception there. I told her that if I could fit in it, I wanted to wear her wedding dress when I got married. She told me she didn't care what I wore as long as my tattoos don't show. So, that is one promise I will keep. I will get a dress that covers my tattoos.
Today has just been a really rough day. So much has happened, and there is more to come. I hope I can handle all of this. Everyone thinks I can, and I hope I don't let them down. I will do my best... but who knows....
I spent half the night looking at and listening to my mom. I will probably do the same tonight. When I woke up this morning, my first thought was, "she's still alive, yay!" I mentioned it to someone, and I got the impression I was being selfish. I'm sorry, but it's my mom, and outwardly I show my support for my mom's decision, but on the inside, I'm falling apart at the fact I'm losing my mom, and every day I have with her now is a blessing.
I also made phone calls for my parents, and got absolutely no where. I called VHDA (for the house), and they couldn't help me in anyway, but they could take payment from me. I called the insurance company on the house, just to get information, but they couldn't talk to me. I called Wachovia Bank, where my dad's truck is fiananced, and they wouldn't even consider talking to me without me having a power of attorney. Everyone else would talk to me if they had authorization from my parents. Well, when my mom can't communicate (orally or written) with you, and my dad is in the hospital and I can't get to him, and I don't know when he's coming home, so how do they expect me to get that kind of stuff? So, I paid the mortgage payment, and went online and paid the power bill. I wasn't even gonna get into it with them. Then, I called my mom's life insurance agent, and I talked to him for at least 30 minutes about all of this. He's such a nice guy. And, it's hard for him, because his dad also has cancer right now, and he's going through a similar situation. So, we just talked. He told me he's been thinking about my mom, and wondering how things were going. He also said that when it does happen, to just have the funeral home contact him directly and let them worry about everything. So, that was a bit of a relief.
Then, I called Sunset Memorial Gardens. It's the cemetery where my mom's best friend's daughter is buried. My mom expressed her wish that she wanted to be buried near her best friend's daughter. We thought it wasn't going to be possible, because we thought that particular garden was full. Well, when I called, they said they were just opening up two grave sites in that area. Turns out, the grave sites are just across from where her friend's daughter is buried, and her friend and husband's grave sites are next to their daughter's, so my mom will be close to her as well. it was amazing that these two plots opened up just as we wanted them. So, the lady from Sunset came to the house and discussed everything with my brother and I, and we decided on everything for my mom, and for my dad. It was such a hard thing to do. I picked out both my parents' grave sites and everything. It wasn't so much that I wanted to, but it was necessary. And, by doing so ahead of time, we saved ourselves about $2,000.
I also asked a friend of my mom's to come spend some time with her while another friend took my brother and I to the hospital to visit with my dad. We got to the hospital, and their insurance agent was there visiting with my dad. It was kinda ironic, because he had asked me earlier, when we were on the phone if my dad would object to it. I told him no, and there he was when we got there. Anyway... he stayed for a little while, and we talked about things. He then left and I told my dad what I had done today. It was so hard to tell my dad that I just picked out his grave and what it would say and where it would be. It was really emotional. It is soooo difficult to have to go through this and explain everything. Later on, it made more sense. I did both, because there is no guarantee that 5, 10, 15 years down the road, when it comes my dad's time, that the plot next to mom will be there. And, we only had to make a deposit, and we have two options for payment. We can make monthly payments (in which the first payment isn't due for 45 days) or have the insurance pay for it. On top of that, if we chose the insurance method, both plots and everything related can be paid for up front. Otherwise, we only have to pay for mom's because that will be the one being used first.
I haven't cried like I did today in a really long time. It got so emotional seeing my dad cry and breakdown about the finality of all of this. Then he told me he has had thoughts of him being here with my mom, holding her hand, and the two of them going together. And, that did it for me. I just can't handle losing both my parents. I broke down. He told me it wouldn't happen. He wants grandkids. And, that made it worse. The one thing my mom has wanted more than anything is grandchildren. And, she's not going to get them. A part of me regrets that fact, but another part (the rational part) tells me I'm making the right choice by not going around having kids just because my parents want it. I have to be ready for it. Another thing that set me off was talk of walking me down the aisle. My mom has wanted so much to be a part of my wedding, and I'm not married. I don't know when I will be. She always wanted me to wait until she got a house so I could have the reception there. I told her that if I could fit in it, I wanted to wear her wedding dress when I got married. She told me she didn't care what I wore as long as my tattoos don't show. So, that is one promise I will keep. I will get a dress that covers my tattoos.
Today has just been a really rough day. So much has happened, and there is more to come. I hope I can handle all of this. Everyone thinks I can, and I hope I don't let them down. I will do my best... but who knows....