the life and death of..
never could i feel so happy
yet so sad at the same time
i think ive felt this way for quite some time now
but ive been so caught up in whats good
and i've just pushed everything terrible down
and now this hole is getting bigger in my stomach.
i dont know what's missing
i feel in love with erin.
i really really do.
it seems almost impossible to be true.
because things happened so fast.
maybe i love so quickly
becuase i was lacking it so greatly
when i was growing up.
i get love thirsty, but i mean
every single word i say,
when the word love is involved.
i just love fast, because i was lacking.
i dont understand how people
can be soo happy day after day
when inevitably things do go wrong
and they just push them down and forget
but i dont forget. they stay with me
i wish they didn't, i wish i could forget.
as hard as it is to admit.
i miss brittany.
not as a girlfriend.
but as someone in my life in general.
i just wish things weren't so hard to fix.
we both seemed to decide that we
cannot be friends anymore or we'll
just end up hurting eachother.
and that sucks to have the truth
just hit you like a bullet.
she was in my life for soo long
and everything is soo different
without her being around.
don't get me wrong,
im very happy with erin.
im just lacking a friendship from someone
that was in my life for so long.
and now is not anymore.
i just need someone to talk to.
i have a girlfriend i could call.
but i hardly feel worth the time.
becuase it is so late
im not worth it.
i know im not.
i dont mean to make you feel bad for this erin.
i know i have the option 24/7 to call you.
but i dont want to throw this up against you
because i cant even explain how i feel.
this is the point of my life.
where if things got just a little worse...
i'd
wake
up
dead
so let's hope they dont.
because im on the edge.
i'm sure things will be better in the morning..
♥rayyan♥