Quotidiana
Strange mood all day, no doubt engendered by waking up in the middle of a severely fucked up dream. Populated with a good chunk of my flist too, though the details have mostly faded. What I remember most is kissing Brendan Urie and agreeing to go out with him in the post-kiss dazzle (apparently it was *that* good?!) and then once he was gone, sitting down hard on the stairs and thinking, Audrey is gonna be pissed. I don't know where I was that had stairs, though there's the fuzzy impression of a courthouse and I was wearing a skirted suit. (Which I don't own one of, either.) Then I was at a picnic with the RosWriter gals, and we were all gathered on blankets in the partial shade of a tree under a blue sky and laughing and passing food around. And then I actually met Brendan for our date, except he morphed into my ex-husband and things got rather ugly from there. I remember thinking, This isn't fun anymore, and that's when I woke up. I've been sort of disoriented since and very thinky today.
Part of the reason I've been so hibernatory recently, aside from simply having the *time* to be for the first time in ages and the not-so-random bout of homesickness (done now, thanks ♥), is that I usually need to do a certain amount of flailing and freaking out before doing something that scares the pants off me, and that's mostly internalized and makes me somewhat anti-social as well. Because, y'see, the next step in this grand, haphazard plan is to make the leap into a new career area, and that terrifies me. I mean I'm going to do it anyway - that was, ultimately, the POINT of this whole move - but right now I'm at the ohgodohgodohgod stage of things. But, I have a newly updated curriculum vitae, and Internet access and lots of sites to look at for possibilities, and I'll get there. Preferably sooner rather than later as my agency doesn't have any assignments for me right now. I'm not worried about that quite yet - it'll be tight but I do have enough to pay July's rent/'net - but it does mean I need to get a move on. Wallowing last week was a luxury, though also a necessity, so I'm lucky I could do it. And even luckier that there's someone (and somewhere) I can go to when I get too consumed by my own headspace, and do mindless things in excellent company like cheer when Lewis Hamilton fucked up royally and took himself out of the Canadian Grand Prix yesterday. :D *blows kisses at looking_spiffy*
In other news entirely, my pretty shiny Chucks gave me blisters, woe. It was the first time I'd had them on for any significant walking, and I think the socks I had on played an unfortunate part, too, since the seam was rubbing on my toe in the sore spot even after the shoes were off. I'll break 'em in eventually. In the meantime, I should get some band-aids and first aid type stuff anyway, just so I have them. I think I need to get a storage bin or something for the bathroom counter. For some reason, when they put in the sink and that, it's on this large enough counter but instead of a proper vanity below, with doors and storage and that, it's a flat panel. Whose bright idea was that? *I* could have done a better job! On the plus side, the room has stayed pretty cool through the current wave of hot sunny weather. (WTF, England?) The heavy outer curtains block incoming sun very nicely.
And then there's the note of depravity; I apologise for any traumatic mental imagery you may go away with. *giggles* I read something today that made me think about Rule 34, and wonder if there is, indeed, Who-fic that involves someone having sex with a Dalek. Has anyone seen any? I have some thoughts about the last 2-parter of Doctor Who that I may post about later. I don't participate in discussions anywhere else online because every time I've tried, spoilers come up, and, do not want. It already irritates me that I can't read hardly anything without the appearance of a particular character by season's end cropping up, and almost everyone I know who watches - certainly all the actively fannish people - is spoiled to fuck, so I mostly just keep my thoughts to myself. But I did enjoy those a lot and loved River Song in particular, so I might elaborate at some point.
Part of the reason I've been so hibernatory recently, aside from simply having the *time* to be for the first time in ages and the not-so-random bout of homesickness (done now, thanks ♥), is that I usually need to do a certain amount of flailing and freaking out before doing something that scares the pants off me, and that's mostly internalized and makes me somewhat anti-social as well. Because, y'see, the next step in this grand, haphazard plan is to make the leap into a new career area, and that terrifies me. I mean I'm going to do it anyway - that was, ultimately, the POINT of this whole move - but right now I'm at the ohgodohgodohgod stage of things. But, I have a newly updated curriculum vitae, and Internet access and lots of sites to look at for possibilities, and I'll get there. Preferably sooner rather than later as my agency doesn't have any assignments for me right now. I'm not worried about that quite yet - it'll be tight but I do have enough to pay July's rent/'net - but it does mean I need to get a move on. Wallowing last week was a luxury, though also a necessity, so I'm lucky I could do it. And even luckier that there's someone (and somewhere) I can go to when I get too consumed by my own headspace, and do mindless things in excellent company like cheer when Lewis Hamilton fucked up royally and took himself out of the Canadian Grand Prix yesterday. :D *blows kisses at looking_spiffy*
In other news entirely, my pretty shiny Chucks gave me blisters, woe. It was the first time I'd had them on for any significant walking, and I think the socks I had on played an unfortunate part, too, since the seam was rubbing on my toe in the sore spot even after the shoes were off. I'll break 'em in eventually. In the meantime, I should get some band-aids and first aid type stuff anyway, just so I have them. I think I need to get a storage bin or something for the bathroom counter. For some reason, when they put in the sink and that, it's on this large enough counter but instead of a proper vanity below, with doors and storage and that, it's a flat panel. Whose bright idea was that? *I* could have done a better job! On the plus side, the room has stayed pretty cool through the current wave of hot sunny weather. (WTF, England?) The heavy outer curtains block incoming sun very nicely.
And then there's the note of depravity; I apologise for any traumatic mental imagery you may go away with. *giggles* I read something today that made me think about Rule 34, and wonder if there is, indeed, Who-fic that involves someone having sex with a Dalek. Has anyone seen any? I have some thoughts about the last 2-parter of Doctor Who that I may post about later. I don't participate in discussions anywhere else online because every time I've tried, spoilers come up, and, do not want. It already irritates me that I can't read hardly anything without the appearance of a particular character by season's end cropping up, and almost everyone I know who watches - certainly all the actively fannish people - is spoiled to fuck, so I mostly just keep my thoughts to myself. But I did enjoy those a lot and loved River Song in particular, so I might elaborate at some point.