Quiet musings
I posted a little Billie/Mike fic, here. It's for a 50kinkyways prompt but don't let that fool you - 'tis barely R, and on the melancholy side. :-)
Drove out to Peggy's Cove today, whilst listening to a CD I indulged in: Dragonforce's Inhuman Rampage, which I'm glad I did cave and buy because I quite like it. I picked up De's new book, too, since some of y'all said it was out already. It was a perfect day for a drive - largely why I went, plus it's a good way to listen to a new CD uninterruptedly and also I just needed to get out by myself and think about stuff. All of that and the pretty views sort of coalesced into the fic.
My mom has a memory like a sieve, so I could tell her something every day for two weeks and then ask her a question about it a month later and she'd be all, 'You never said anything about that.' So I'm completely used to repeating myself (even if I occasionally feel matricidal about it heh). And I tend to get along very well with ADD-types because I don't really have a problem nudging them back onto topic or whatever. It's not like I ever talk in a straight line myself! But recently, I reminded someone about something for not the first time, and I found it upsetting enough that I retracted what I'd said and said to never mind. *They* weren't upset; it was just me, which led me to ponder why it would bother me so much since it seemed to be my own perception of my behaviour rather than my actual behaviour that was the problem.
I figured it out today, though part of me wishes I hadn't; the rest of me is pretty much just, 'eh suck it up.' It's because it was something that was specifically really important to me, and past experience has left a lingering expectation that to ask more than once about something that really matters to me will result in my being metaphorically bitchslapped. Three guesses as to who fostered that reaction, which is not related to the current situation or person in the slightest. Argh. I wish sometimes there were some way to identify and purge all the shit he left behind, but I know that that would mean losing the good changes, too, and I treasure those. Doesn't make it suck any less, though. :-/
On a lighter note, Happy April!
booshgal33 FTW since yours was the only one that I had to think about before realising it was a prank. :D
Drove out to Peggy's Cove today, whilst listening to a CD I indulged in: Dragonforce's Inhuman Rampage, which I'm glad I did cave and buy because I quite like it. I picked up De's new book, too, since some of y'all said it was out already. It was a perfect day for a drive - largely why I went, plus it's a good way to listen to a new CD uninterruptedly and also I just needed to get out by myself and think about stuff. All of that and the pretty views sort of coalesced into the fic.
My mom has a memory like a sieve, so I could tell her something every day for two weeks and then ask her a question about it a month later and she'd be all, 'You never said anything about that.' So I'm completely used to repeating myself (even if I occasionally feel matricidal about it heh). And I tend to get along very well with ADD-types because I don't really have a problem nudging them back onto topic or whatever. It's not like I ever talk in a straight line myself! But recently, I reminded someone about something for not the first time, and I found it upsetting enough that I retracted what I'd said and said to never mind. *They* weren't upset; it was just me, which led me to ponder why it would bother me so much since it seemed to be my own perception of my behaviour rather than my actual behaviour that was the problem.
I figured it out today, though part of me wishes I hadn't; the rest of me is pretty much just, 'eh suck it up.' It's because it was something that was specifically really important to me, and past experience has left a lingering expectation that to ask more than once about something that really matters to me will result in my being metaphorically bitchslapped. Three guesses as to who fostered that reaction, which is not related to the current situation or person in the slightest. Argh. I wish sometimes there were some way to identify and purge all the shit he left behind, but I know that that would mean losing the good changes, too, and I treasure those. Doesn't make it suck any less, though. :-/
On a lighter note, Happy April!
booshgal33 FTW since yours was the only one that I had to think about before realising it was a prank. :D