Naruto- gaanaru- negotiated infidelity 3
This was a challenge to write!. @_@ *falls over*
Title: Negotiated Infidelity Ch 03- Disconnect
Fandom: Naruto (AU)
Pairing: GaaNaru, SasuNaru
Rating: R
Warnings: Not for the faint of heart. Some hard core yaoi in this one and some very adult situations.
Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters are the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No profit is made from this, no harm intended.
Summary: There were rules in place. Naruto had set them himself. If only he could follow them...
Negotiated Infidelity 03
Disconnect
What is he doing here?
Staring at the face that haunted his dreams, the face currently scowling at him, he could only think of one thing. He felt his neck flush, the heat creeping into his face as he was reminded, full force of everything that had transpired the night before.
“Shit,” he muttered, covering his face.
It would be his luck to have a one-night stand with a guy he had hoped to never see again only to discover he was a student at the same school. And of course the one person he was trying to forget was the one he bumped into that very night.
Shikamaru’s appearance shook him out of it and Naruto was once again holding out the towel. “I’m really sorry,” he said. “Use this.” He felt painfully self-aware of every word that came out of his mouth, of every gesture. He was certain that Shikamaru recognized his partner from the night before. He prayed to whatever deity was listening that he would not put the two together.
The young man snatched it and pressed the white cloth against his sweatshirt. It absorbed some of the liquid, but the red fabric was still dark. “I’ll pay for the cleaning!” Naruto offered. “Or I’ll reimburse you for the cost of the sweater. Fuck, I’m really sorry,” he said, clutching his hair.
Shikamaru snorted. He looked from Naruto to his victim and raised an eyebrow. “It’s just coffee. Take off the sweater and rinse it off. There’s soap in the locker room if you’re willing to try it. Should help get it out before the stain sets.” Shikamaru shook his head and smacked Naruto’s chest with the back of his hand. “Watch where you’re going next time,” he smirked.
Shikamaru didn’t wait for either of them. Naruto panicked as he watched his teammate leave. He sent a silent, desperate plea for him to stay that was quickly dashed when Shika’s spiky black pony tail disappeared behind the red doors.
His eyes slid back to the redhead, who was still scowling and still stubbornly dabbing the white towel against his sweater.
“It’s worth a shot,” Naruto said, gesturing vaguely to the locker room. “I can lend you something to wear if you need it. Your hotel is pretty far away.” Heat flooded his face as he considered his own words. Of course he knew that, he had been there.
“I’ll risk it,” the other man said, shoving Naruto’s towel against his chest. Naruto grabbed it as the other man tried to rush past him. His expression was unsettling, his brows knit with anger. Naruto forgot his awkwardness for a moment and genuinely felt bad.
“Hey,” Naruto said, reaching for him. “This is awkward, I get it.” He looked down at his running shoes. “I’m feeling it myself right now, okay? But this was my fault and I would feel better if you let me do something to make up for it.”
The other man paused. He looked out toward the field and his profile was sharp against the fading daylight.
“I don’t need any favors,” he said.
Naruto noticed the coffee cup still in his hand. More than half the liquid had sloshed out of the thin, brown paper cup. He recognized the brand from the vending machine located on the other side of the building; the ones that dispensed cheap, flavored brews.
“There’s a cafe not too far from the student center. Let me buy you a new cup at least.”
The angry expression softened a little, a pink tongue darting out to lick a scabbed lip.
“They have a great iced coffee, or so I’m told.” The other smirked as though this was laughable. “Cafe au lait?” Naruto took one step forward and then stopped himself. “Or I can lend you my jacket to make up for it. You can keep it even! Just let me do something so I stop feeling like a major jerk.”
His companion liked this idea even less.
The other man adjusted the strap on his black duffel bag. He raised it higher onto his shoulder. and looked out at the field again. After a short pause he gave a nod. He turned his face, his green eyes striking in their clarity. “If I let you buy me coffee will you stay the hell away? Like I need another black cloud hanging over me,” he muttered.
Naruto was about to protest, but he stopped. He thought about his way of handling things the night before and the way all three of them had gotten beaten up instead of perhaps just one. And not a day later, Naruto managed to do this, to spill piping hot coffee all over him. Naruto grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.
“Let me just change really quick. My stuff is in there. You want to try washing your sweater?”
“May as well,” the other man said moodily. Naruto was careful to lead at a safe distance as he went to the locker room. He opened the door and pushed it wide open for his companion to follow as well.
“Bathrooms are over there,” he pointed to the white tiled walls that looked buttery in the yellow light. “I’ll meet you back here when I’m done.”
The other moved quietly in the direction Naruto had pointed out. Naruto watched him for a moment wondering if this was really happening; wondering if he could really be so unlucky. He would definitely have to tell Sasuke about it tonight.
He hurried to his locker and kicked off his shoes while he spinned the dial on his lock. Throwing his bag onto the bench he began to change at record pace. He felt self-conscious again when he pulled off his shirt and exposed the red marks still marring his skin. Trying to shove away the memory that came with it, he grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his head.
Shikamaru appeared at the end of the aisle. He was back in his long sleeved blue shirt and green vest. He leaned against the locker and watched Naruto silently.
“What?” Naruto barked at him. “Say it already.”
Shikamaru shook his head. “Dinner another time then?” he smiled. Naruto felt like a bucket of water had been dumped on him. In the scant few minutes he had been with his former fling, he had completely forgotten Shikamaru’s request.
“Tomorrow, I promise. I’ll buy you whatever you want.”
Shikamaru tilted his head as though he was considering something. The smile on his face let Naruto know he had put two and two together long ago. Naruto faced his locker and hoped he had managed to keep at least one emotion off his face.
“Have fun tonight,” Shikamaru said. “Just don’t forget to tell Sasuke when you’re done.”
Naruto’s fingers grasped the cold metal of his locker. His hand paused there as the warning sank in. He had already violated one rule by not telling Sasuke about his fling that very night. He nodded to his empty locker and lowered his gaze to the floor.
“I will,” he said, wishing there had been a little more conviction behind those words. His anxiety from that morning came back to him. “Of course I will,” he said.
“Good,” Shikamaru said pleasantly. “I wouldn’t want our season blown because our stars can’t play nice.” Shikamaru pat Naruto’s shoulder. A gesture that should have been comforting, but wasn’t. Shikamaru footsteps echoed off the concrete. Naruto listened as they faded, silenced by the slam of a heavy door.
“It’s not like I planned this,” Naruto whispered to himself. He slammed his locker shut and picked up his bag. Marching back to the entrance he paused there, eyes trained on the section of the bathroom visible to him.
He was just doing what was right, he told himself.
A figure emerged and Naruto snapped to attention, noting the absence of the hooded sweatshirt. It was tied around a slender waist, hanging loose around dark jeans. The stranger wore a long sleeved black button up that was buttoned all the way to his collar. As he approached, the green pinstripes became more noticeable. Naruto felt rather slovenly in his frog t-shirt, but he didn’t comment. He zipped up his black and orange wind breaker.
As Sasuke reminded him, on many occasions, style had never been his strong suit.
“Did it come out?” he said, glancing down at the other’s waist. He forced his eyes elsewhere when he realized it might be misinterpreted.
The shorter man said nothing, practically ignoring him as he pushed the heavy doors open. “We’ll see,” he said. The coffee cup he had carried earlier was gone. Naruto followed him out and took a few quick steps to catch up. Keeping pace, he realized that he should be leading the way.
“Do you go here?” Naruto asked curiously. “Because I’ve never seen you before and I spend a lot of time on the fields and I suppose in the locker room too for that matter and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before. You’re not a new student, are you?”
Naruto inwardly cringed at the diarrhea coming out of his mouth, but he was nervous and couldn’t stop himself.
The other man shook his head. His black shoes carried him briskly across the pavement, sidestepping the odd breaks where the roots had pushed up from the ground.
“Are you a student?” Naruto persisted. “Are you visiting the campus for some reason?” He loped alongside the other man who seemed to walk just a little faster than when they started.
“So we can hang out?” was the sharp retort.
Naruto fell silent. They crossed through the space between the tennis courts and the intramural fields. They moved steadily toward the wide open quad where the student union was located. Above them, an orange light flickered on, washing his companion’s fair complexion in warm tones.
“Hey,” Naruto said, suddenly stopping. “I didn’t expect that to happen last night.” His companion paused and turned to face him. His young face looked tired and Naruto noticed the circles under his eyes.
Naruto turned and looked at the fairly empty quad in front of them. His eyes fixed on the student union sign now glowing in the distance. He remembered another sign and another conversation. In some sense, he had instigated everything.
“I thought I was helping, at the bar. I wasn’t trying to impress you and I didn’t follow you back to your hotel room looking for any favors.”
The green eyes boring into him looked hard as glass. Still, the edge in his jaw eased a little.
“It happened and it’s over. Leave it at that,” was the sharp reply.
Naruto frowned. He should have been relieved by this. He should have rejoiced that he was free, off the hook; here was proof that what had happened between them meant absolutely nothing.
So why did he feel so disappointed? True, they were strangers; there was no love between them. But to be dismissed so easily, to be brushed aside like nothing made him feel cheap and used.
Naruto pressed his lips together and said nothing. Clenching his jaw he turned and walked brusquely. His companion kept up beside him and they walked silently in the direction of the coffee shop.
When they reached it, the lights were out. Naruto tugged on the locked door in frustration. “You can’t be closed it’s only 7!” he yelled to no one in particular. His own angry reflection looked back at him from the glass door. He fingers clenched tightly around the handle and he shook the door as hard as he could. “I can’t seem to get anything right,” he said, releasing the handle of the door with a huff.
“It’s fine,” his companion said softly. He pinched the bridge of his nose, reminding Naruto of the times his aunt Tsunade complained of headaches. Usually the kind that accompanied a hangover.
“There’s an Italian restaurant just off campus.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Then you can watch me eat while you sip your espresso,” Naruto said. His stomach let out a growl as though it approved of this idea. Naruto clutched his middle sheepishly. “It’s dinner time,” he explained.
His companion shook his head. “I’d prefer it if I could be alone right now.”
“In the middle of Tokyo?” Naruto snorted. “Good luck.”
His companion looked ready to kill him for that comment, but the anger quickly passed, supplanted with a type of weariness Naruto recognized.
“Hey,” he said, softening his tone, “are you okay?”
His companion rubbed the bridge of his nose again. “I don’t do well around lots of people,” he said. “This city,” his sentence trailed off.
Naruto smiled, thinking of the many times Shikamaru had wandered off to get away from people and places and things. He always compared Tokyo to a beehive, constantly buzzing; always on the go.
Naruto smiled and thanked Shikamaru for being so anti-social. Naruto reached for the other’s hand and tugged him back toward the quad.
“See now that I can help you with.”
-
Naruto dug through his plastic bag, pulling out the contents one by one and set it on the concrete floor. He flattened the thin plastic, smoothing out the wrinkles, before shifting everything to sit on top of the makeshift placemat. Taking a small foil packet he held it out to the man settling onto the floor next to him.
“You have a headache, right? I grabbed some, just in case.”
The other man glanced at the item in his hand from over the rim of his coffee cup. He shook his head, lifting the cup as if to explain and took another sip.
“You’re a coffee-addict, aren’t you?” Naruto teased. A pale brow lifted as if to say “so what?” Naruto smiled and picked up the chopsticks wrapped in plastic. He pulled them apart and said a hasty “itadakimasu” before reaching for his cup ramen. “Not that there’s anything wrong with it,” he added. “I suppose I could say I’m addicted to ramen since I eat it practically every day. And maybe running. Can you get addicted to a runner’s high? I didn’t think so, but I get grumpy if I’m not active every day.”
“Do you always talk so much?” his companion asked.
“When I’m not running or eating ramen,” Naruto grinned. To illustrate his point, he pulled back the paper lid and allowed the steam to rise into the warm Tokyo air. He lifted a tangle of noodles and blew softly before slurping them up noisily. The salt and spice invaded his mouth, the heat of the noodles spreading a familiar warmth as they slid their way down. Naruto let out a sigh of content before shoveling in another mouthful.
While his jaw worked to chew the blob of noodles he had inhaled, he put his chopsticks down and reached for the rice ball sitting upright on his bag. He held it out to his companion.
The other man shook his head, but Naruto ignored this, waving the rice ball emphatically.
“Man can’t live on coffee alone,” Naruto supplied, tossing it into the other’s lap. He picked up his chopsticks and busied himself with his noodles, before the other could take the initiative to return the small gift. Slurping up some of the broth, he glanced sideways and noted that his guest had not touched it. The cellophane wrapped triangle sat where it landed.
The redhead’s attention was elsewhere, green eyes fixed on the high buildings illuminated by so many squares of light along the Tokyo skyline. Naruto turned to see what he was looking at, but it could have been anything.
“You’re not from Tokyo, are you?” Naruto commented. He lowered his ramen cup, eye drawn to the bright red tattoo on the smooth forehead and green eyes fixed on the horizon. He shook his head. He stood out in Tokyo. Naruto could hardly imagine how much he would stick out in a smaller town.
“My friend Shikamaru grew up in the countryside. He said he used to just lay out on grass and stare up at the clouds or the stars. Here in Tokyo, you can’t really do that, so he comes up here sometimes just to get away from the noise. Me? I love the city. I love the sights, the sounds, the constant movement,” Naruto mused. He liked that he never felt alone. But that admission, he felt was best kept to himself.
“Perhaps you should be out there, enjoying it now,” his companion replied.
Naruto smiled. “You wouldn’t have found this place without me,” he said. The other man smirked, his only acknowledgment of Naruto’s statement, before quickly hiding it behind his cup.
They lapsed into silence again. Naruto took up his cup ramen and finished off the noodles, slurping up the broth until he was tipping the last of it into his mouth. Naruto wiped his damp mouth with the back of his hand and let out a big sigh of content. He put the cup down beside him and leaned back, pressing his palms against the concrete. A small pebble dug into his palm and he ignored it, trying to look like he was relaxed.
“You know, I don’t even know your name,” Naruto mused, stretching out his legs and locking his ankles together. “I mean, I know we don’t really know each other, but it just seems funny.”
His companion remained silent. His fingers shifted to move the rice ball in his lap, the clear plastic wrapping rustled with the movement. He put the rice ball down beside him and clasped his paper cup with both hands.
“And what’s the use of knowing?” he asked.
“It doesn’t strike you as odd?” Naruto was quick to reply. “After... well, you know.”
The cold look in the other’s green eyes returned. His lips were pressed tight with anger.
“So we can date? It was just sex.” He placed the not yet emptied coffee cup between them. His legs shifted, one hand pushing himself off the floor to rise to his feet. “Thanks for the coffee,” he said.
Naruto winced and rubbed his palm over his face.
“Wait,” he said, “I’m sorry. I just... Stay. You don’t have to tell me your name if you don’t want to.”
“You just...? What?” his companion asked. “Wanted to be friends?”
Naruto looked away. He placed his hands in his lap and twiddled his thumbs together. It had been stupid of him. Given his partner’s rather detached attitude toward all of this, he shouldn’t have been surprised. So much for trying to be friendly.
“I just,” he paused. Why was he even trying so hard to begin with? He had bought the coffee, he had shown the location of Shikamaru’s secret hiding spot, so why was he still here?
Naruto ran a hand through his hair, keenly aware of the phone in his pocket and the phone call he had not yet received signaling it was okay to come home.
“I can’t go home yet,” Naruto admitted. “And I kind of don’t want to be alone right now.” The words sounded pathetic in his own ears. He kept his back to his companion, waiting for the sound of the door to close.
The silence stretched on and to ease his impatience, Naruto busied himself with picking at a scab on the back of his hand. Using his nail to work around the edges, he stopped when the wound began to bleed.
A dark figure settled back down beside him. He snatched up the rice ball still sitting between them and tugged down the red tab running along the middle. His removed the cellophane wrapping and took one bite off the top. His attention was on the skyline as he nibbled the small snack. Surprised, Naruto slowly relaxed into a smile. He looked away, and pulled his knees up, wrapping his arms around them.
They sat in silence, only the sounds of the traffic below and the occasional crunch of seaweed interrupting the stillness. Just him and the quiet presence of the stranger sitting beside him. For the moment, it was enough.
“If I thought it meant I could avoid my family, I’d never go home either,” his companion said. Naruto looked up in surprise. His profile was sharp in the glow of city lights. His expression was calm, brow pensive as he chewed.
“Oh no,” Naruto shook his head, “it’s not my family.” He laughed to hide his embarrassment and wondered what Aunt Tsunade would do to him if she thought he was spreading lies about her. “No, I might have my complaints about them every now and then, but I enjoy it too. If I still lived with my aunt and uncle, they would have had me home hours ago or sent out the search and rescue squad,” Naruto chuckled.
He looked out at the city’s blinking lights and imagined his aunt at home, stretched out on a couch with a bottle of sake in her hand, and his uncle hunched over his desk trying to find new metaphors for a woman’s attributes. Naruto smiled to himself.
“You’re not from Tokyo,” his companion observed. Naruto nodded.
The smile faded for a moment. He remembered the face of a girl in a photograph; a vibrant smile and bright blue eyes and a wild mane of red hair.
“My mother was from Tokushima and my father was a foreigner working in Osaka at the time. My uncle tells me they met on the great Naruto bridge over the whirlpools. It’s where my name came from,” he grinned.
Naruto leaned back and craned his neck to look up at the sky. “My uncle said my mom was a total babe-- that it was love at first sight.”
“Was?” his companion glanced up.
Naruto met his gaze and nodded. “I never met her.” A sober look greeted him. The redhead beside him looked contemplative for a moment before looking away again. Naruto looked at the stars the way he used to when his uncle told him about his parents. He used to imagine he’d see their faces sometime, watching him from heaven the way Aunt Tsunade said they did.
“She died while having me. My uncle says I’m just like her, but I don’t know anything about her outside of a few photographs. My father tried to raise me, but he traveled a lot because of his job. During one of his long bus trips there was an accident.” Naruto looked down at his knees. His uncle had kept the newspaper clipping from that time. He could still envision his father’s portrait, and a smile preserved in black and white. “I was too little at the time to really remember it. I was passed around for awhile after that until my aunt and uncle took me in. They’re not really blood related, but they were good friends of my dad’s. They raised me,” Naruto added. “So while I’m not from Tokyo, I’m not from anywhere really. It’s nice to be in one spot. To have a place to call home as crazy as it might seem. It should be a dream right? Life without parents.”
He had said it jokingly, but his smile faltered when he saw the almost pained expression half hidden by shadows. Pale brows were furrowed, green eyes unblinking as they fixed on the half eaten rice ball in his hands.
He shook his head. “Like you, my mother died in childbirth,” he said soberly. “My father passed away a few years ago.”
For a moment Naruto paused, the meaning still slowly sinking in. He chortled and looked out at the sky, fixing his attention on the blinking light of a plane off in the distance.
For a brief moment he felt a moment of kinship with the man sitting beside him despite not knowing his name, where he was from or even if the story he just told was true. An intuition, or a gut feeling told him it wasn’t a lie. He wondered if this is what had drawn them together; some sort of invisible force attracting like to like. Naruto closed his eyes and reminded himself not to be silly. It was a coincidence. It had to be.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said. The other shook his head, shrugging it off.
Naruto wanted to ask more. He wanted to pry into his past, to ask if growing up had been just as lonely. Instead, he reached out and pressed a hand to the other’s shoulder.
His companion shrugged it off. “It’s not a big deal, okay? I never knew my mother and I hated my father.”
Naruto pat his shoulder anyway. “That was a thank you, for sharing with me.” The tension in the other man’s shoulders relaxed.
He lifted his coffee cup and drained off the rest of it.
“Won’t you have trouble sleeping tonight?” Naruto changed the topic. The redhead shrugged his shoulders.
“Always. Coffee won’t make a difference.”
Naruto frowned. Thinking back to the night before he recalled that his companion had been wide awake even as Naruto felt tempted to give in to his sleepy lull.
“You suffer from insomnia?” he asked. He craned his neck to try to see the other man better. He noted the dark smudges under his eyes again.
“Sometimes. It was worse when I was younger. But if I’m going to sleep, coffee won’t make a difference. Trust me. When I crash I crash. Just don’t try to wake me up when I do.”
Naruto snorted. “Mr. cranky-pants are you? I believe it,” he teased.
“My brother found out the hard way,” the other man cracked a smile.
Naruto’s face lit up like he had just stumbled across a small treasure.
“You have a brother?” he prodded. His companion grimaced a little when he realized his admission. He lowered his head and acted like one caught.
He nodded and left it at that.
Naruto recalled his earlier statement and realized perhaps he had stumbled across more than he bargained for.
“I always wished I had siblings,” Naruto wondered aloud. “Someone to play with, to fight and tease and make up with at the end of the day. Though I suppose my friend Sakura is like a sister. Albeit a well-meaning, slightly abusive one.” Naruto rubbed the back of his head absently, remembering the bite behind Sakura’s disciplinary measures.
“You’re not missing much,” was the reply.
“Yeah? What’s it like?” Naruto said.
His companion shrugged. He seemed to shrink in on himself a little, his shoulders slumped. For a moment, the tension in his expression disappeared. The mask he had held onto slipped temporarily, revealing just a boy.
“We’re not close,” he said, the mask slipping back into place. “Hard to be friendly with someone who kills your mother.”
Naruto opened his mouth to protest. But he paused, realizing it wasn’t for him to say. His opinion wasn’t the one that mattered. Still, Naruto felt a surge of protectiveness rise within his chest. He felt angry all of a sudden, irked that someone blood related, someone who was family could be so cruel to his or her own kind.
Naruto’s fingers clenched and unclenched. He resisted the urge to pull the other man into a hug, to hold him and let him know he knew what it was like to feel alone.
Naruto looked at him, certain that every bit of his longing was clear on his face. He warred internally, debating whether or not he should say something, whether he might help by sharing some of his own pain. Green eyes met his, defensive at first while he searched Naruto’s expression. Whatever he saw there, it made his mask slip again. There was for a moment, a raw look in his eyes, his teeth biting his lower lip. And for the life of him, Naruto wanted nothing more than to reach out for him and hold him; to kiss that expression off his face.
Naruto felt himself leaning forward. He paused again, eyes roaming over the other’s mouth. His intentions couldn’t have been more clear and the other man paused with indecision. Time seemed to freeze, and nothing existed but a distance that grew shorter with the passing of each breath.
Naruto moved to lean closer, to bridge the gap between them. His hand knocked against the upright ramen cup, the styrofoam falling and rolling along the concrete. The sound startled him and he rushed to pick it up, to set it out of the way. But when he looked back up the moment had been lost.
Embarrassed, Naruto glanced away. His companion also averted his gaze, pretending not to notice whatever just occurred. His nerves still on edge, Naruto pulled out his phone and checked the time on the bright LCD screen. He pretended to check his email for a new message. Putting it away, he cleared his throat.
“How are your bruises?” Naruto asked conversationally.
“Still there,” his companion answered.
Naruto ran his hand over his shin absently. The skin was still sensitive and he rubbed at it, hoping it would be in decent shape before the game.
“You helped me out big time yesterday,” Naruto continued. “Icing my leg. Had it turned out any worse, my coach would have benched me. As it is, I’m in for a week of pain.”
“You play soccer?”
Naruto ignored the disbelief underlying the other man’s tone. “Forward actually. I’ve got a game coming up. You should come by and watch, if you’re still in town. We’re playing a game against this really tough team. But I think we have a good chance. Me and Sasuke are really gonna give it to them!”
He hazarded a glance at his companion and found him pensive. He shook his red curls, his unblinking eyes seeing more than the concrete beyond his feet. For a moment he looked angry and Naruto wondered what he did wrong.
“Of course. Tokushima. The whirlpools at Naruto,” he said to himself. “This was a mistake,” he said, getting up. He got up quickly and dusted off his pants, heading toward the the door. Naruto hopped onto his feet and followed after him, bewildered by this sudden 180. He grabbed the other man by the arm and turned him around.
“What did I do? What’s wrong?”
The other man shook his head, refusing to look Naruto in the eye. “You’re Uzumaki Naruto! And I’m not your friend,” the other man said harshly. “I can’t be,” he said, lifting his face. In the light afforded to them by the surrounding buildings, his angry expression was softened by something in his eyes. Naruto wanted to shake him, to demand that he explain. The other man shook his head in response. “Forget any of this happened,” he said, tearing free of Naruto’s grip.
Stunned, Naruto watched him walk away.
-
By the time he reached home, Naruto had replayed their conversation like a broken record. He had investigated every comment, every action, trying to discover what he had possibly done to offend the other man so much.
But he knew his name. He had recognized it. Had they somehow encountered each other in their past? Naruto shook his head. He had a feeling he would have remembered someone like that.
Sasuke was stretched out on the couch as he entered. He was in nothing but a pair of boxers, his love bites clearly on display. Naruto forced a smile onto his face and waved at him.
“Looks like you had fun,” he said, locking the door behind him. He dropped his gear on the floor, kicking his sneakers off and watched one land on the shoe rack upside down while the other flew wide and collided with the wooden floor.
Sasuke smirked. His eyes still looked a little glazed from his post-coital bliss, his body relaxed, melting into the cushions.
A day ago this might have bothered him. But Naruto found he was still too pre-occupied, still haunted by that glimpse of momentary regret on the rooftops. He was haunted by his inability to decipher the cause and the simple fact that he wanted to.
Naruto tried to focus on Sasuke, to keep his head in the here and now. Nothing else should have mattered. So why was he mulling over the possibility that he would never see the other man again?
Sasuke’s attention was fixed on him. Naruto tried to smile, to placate whatever suspicions were starting to surface in his partner’s expression.
“Meet me in the shower?” Naruto asked. Sasuke paused, waiting for an explanation. Naruto offered none. He hated that he was feeling like this. He hated that his guilt less than a few hours ago had all but dissipated into a need to forget everything. Especially that hurt look he had sympathized with all too well.
Sasuke nodded and Naruto accepted it as a dismissal. Naruto was silent as he stepped into the bedroom. He flipped on the light and seeing his bed, exhaustion seemed to flood every part of his body. It had been a long day and he was tired and not thinking straight. The shower would help. It would clear his head.
Naruto unzipped his flak jacket and tossed it onto the neat coverlet. He pulled up his shirt and threw it, adding onto the small pile. He pulled off his socks before stepping into the bathroom, feeling the cold tiles against the soles of his feet. Turning the hot water knob, he felt the spray of water on his fingertips. He waited for it to heat up and let his thoughts roam.
He jumped when he felt a hand press against his back; fingers tracing the red marks left from another set of lips.
“Who did you have fun with?” Sasuke teased. His hands slid around his waist, fingers unbuckling the brass button of Naruto’s jeans. The water began to steam. The droplets pelted across the porcelain tub and Naruto leaned toward it as Sasuke’s hand rubbed over him.
“A boy,” Naruto said. “Just a boy I met.”
“Hrn?” Sasuke’s fingers slid down his zipper.
“I don’t,” Naruto began. Sasuke’s hands tugged his jeans down. They slid past his hips before falling to his ankles. A rough palm slid across his belly. “I didn’t know his name,” Naruto finished.
Sasuke’s hands slid over his boxers again. He rubbed his palm against him slowly, trying to coax the reaction Naruto was having difficulty achieving.
“How was he?” Sasuke asked. “Was he good,” his husky voice whispered into his ear. Sasuke pressed a kiss to Naruto’s neck, dropping to his shoulder.
Closing his eyes, Naruto envisioned another man giving him that original kiss, marking that very spot with his tongue and teeth.
Sasuke’s mouth moved lower and Naruto sighed as he recognized the pattern; the marks on his back. Sasuke’s mouth was drawn to each one, connecting them like dots. His tongue traced over each one gently, claiming them in some way for his own.
Naruto’s stomach flip flopped as he remembered the other man, his torso warm against his back as he dropped those kisses. The order had been wrong. It had been in reverse. The kiss on his neck had been accompanied by a heat pressing against him. A thickness forcing his body to stretch, a pain that melted with the kisses at his neck and a slick hand gliding between his legs.
Naruto moaned as Sasuke’s fingers slipped beneath his boxers. His cock twitched as he remembered that other body, barely inside him. The way he kept his hips perfectly still. The way he teased and tortured him with pleasure until Naruto was rolling his own hips toward him, impaling himself on the stiff length pressing inside him.
“I take that as a yes.”
Naruto opened his eyes. Sasuke’s voice was almost a shock to him. For a moment he realized what he was doing and he pulled away, taking off his boxers and stepping under the spray of the scalding hot water. He grit his teeth and bore it, his hand spinning the hot water tab in the opposite direction. Sasuke stepped in beside him.
Naruto leaned his hand against the tile, allowing the water to soak into his hair, to drip down his face. Sasuke’s hands were sliding against him again. Slick with soap, pale fingers cleaned him with more thoroughness than he wanted at the moment.
“What type of bottom was he?” Sasuke teased. “Did he take it like a good little girl or was he bossy like me?”
Naruto clenched his eyes tight. He shook his head. Tipping his face up to the shower head, he opened his mouth and allowed the water to fill it.
It was best if he forgot, he told himself. It was best if this was never brought up again.
“Pushy,” Naruto faked a laugh. He turned in the radius of Sasuke’s arms. He Wiped the water out of his eyes and looked into a familiar set of dark eyes. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to his lover’s. “Pushy, but not like you. Nothing like you,” he said with a little too much emphasis.
Sasuke grinned at him. His kiss was rough, possessive, tongue forcing its way between Naruto’s lips. Naruto closed his eyes and tried to lose himself in it. Their legs twined together, his body recoiling when his shoulder blades pressed against the cold tile.
Sasuke pulled away and his eyes were mischievous as he sank to his knees. Naruto watched him, forced himself to watch so his mind didn’t betray him with other thoughts.
This is what I wanted, he reminded himself, swearing he’d never do it again. Determined to never allow himself to get so confused again. Sasuke’s breath was hot against his tip. Naruto turned his head, not caring that the hot spray of the water splashed against him. He braced his knees as Sasuke enveloped his length, his hand threading through damp hair.
But it wasn’t the same. There was something empty in it. It wasn’t as good as last night.
Title: Negotiated Infidelity Ch 03- Disconnect
Fandom: Naruto (AU)
Pairing: GaaNaru, SasuNaru
Rating: R
Warnings: Not for the faint of heart. Some hard core yaoi in this one and some very adult situations.
Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters are the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No profit is made from this, no harm intended.
Summary: There were rules in place. Naruto had set them himself. If only he could follow them...
Negotiated Infidelity 03
Disconnect
What is he doing here?
Staring at the face that haunted his dreams, the face currently scowling at him, he could only think of one thing. He felt his neck flush, the heat creeping into his face as he was reminded, full force of everything that had transpired the night before.
“Shit,” he muttered, covering his face.
It would be his luck to have a one-night stand with a guy he had hoped to never see again only to discover he was a student at the same school. And of course the one person he was trying to forget was the one he bumped into that very night.
Shikamaru’s appearance shook him out of it and Naruto was once again holding out the towel. “I’m really sorry,” he said. “Use this.” He felt painfully self-aware of every word that came out of his mouth, of every gesture. He was certain that Shikamaru recognized his partner from the night before. He prayed to whatever deity was listening that he would not put the two together.
The young man snatched it and pressed the white cloth against his sweatshirt. It absorbed some of the liquid, but the red fabric was still dark. “I’ll pay for the cleaning!” Naruto offered. “Or I’ll reimburse you for the cost of the sweater. Fuck, I’m really sorry,” he said, clutching his hair.
Shikamaru snorted. He looked from Naruto to his victim and raised an eyebrow. “It’s just coffee. Take off the sweater and rinse it off. There’s soap in the locker room if you’re willing to try it. Should help get it out before the stain sets.” Shikamaru shook his head and smacked Naruto’s chest with the back of his hand. “Watch where you’re going next time,” he smirked.
Shikamaru didn’t wait for either of them. Naruto panicked as he watched his teammate leave. He sent a silent, desperate plea for him to stay that was quickly dashed when Shika’s spiky black pony tail disappeared behind the red doors.
His eyes slid back to the redhead, who was still scowling and still stubbornly dabbing the white towel against his sweater.
“It’s worth a shot,” Naruto said, gesturing vaguely to the locker room. “I can lend you something to wear if you need it. Your hotel is pretty far away.” Heat flooded his face as he considered his own words. Of course he knew that, he had been there.
“I’ll risk it,” the other man said, shoving Naruto’s towel against his chest. Naruto grabbed it as the other man tried to rush past him. His expression was unsettling, his brows knit with anger. Naruto forgot his awkwardness for a moment and genuinely felt bad.
“Hey,” Naruto said, reaching for him. “This is awkward, I get it.” He looked down at his running shoes. “I’m feeling it myself right now, okay? But this was my fault and I would feel better if you let me do something to make up for it.”
The other man paused. He looked out toward the field and his profile was sharp against the fading daylight.
“I don’t need any favors,” he said.
Naruto noticed the coffee cup still in his hand. More than half the liquid had sloshed out of the thin, brown paper cup. He recognized the brand from the vending machine located on the other side of the building; the ones that dispensed cheap, flavored brews.
“There’s a cafe not too far from the student center. Let me buy you a new cup at least.”
The angry expression softened a little, a pink tongue darting out to lick a scabbed lip.
“They have a great iced coffee, or so I’m told.” The other smirked as though this was laughable. “Cafe au lait?” Naruto took one step forward and then stopped himself. “Or I can lend you my jacket to make up for it. You can keep it even! Just let me do something so I stop feeling like a major jerk.”
His companion liked this idea even less.
The other man adjusted the strap on his black duffel bag. He raised it higher onto his shoulder. and looked out at the field again. After a short pause he gave a nod. He turned his face, his green eyes striking in their clarity. “If I let you buy me coffee will you stay the hell away? Like I need another black cloud hanging over me,” he muttered.
Naruto was about to protest, but he stopped. He thought about his way of handling things the night before and the way all three of them had gotten beaten up instead of perhaps just one. And not a day later, Naruto managed to do this, to spill piping hot coffee all over him. Naruto grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.
“Let me just change really quick. My stuff is in there. You want to try washing your sweater?”
“May as well,” the other man said moodily. Naruto was careful to lead at a safe distance as he went to the locker room. He opened the door and pushed it wide open for his companion to follow as well.
“Bathrooms are over there,” he pointed to the white tiled walls that looked buttery in the yellow light. “I’ll meet you back here when I’m done.”
The other moved quietly in the direction Naruto had pointed out. Naruto watched him for a moment wondering if this was really happening; wondering if he could really be so unlucky. He would definitely have to tell Sasuke about it tonight.
He hurried to his locker and kicked off his shoes while he spinned the dial on his lock. Throwing his bag onto the bench he began to change at record pace. He felt self-conscious again when he pulled off his shirt and exposed the red marks still marring his skin. Trying to shove away the memory that came with it, he grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his head.
Shikamaru appeared at the end of the aisle. He was back in his long sleeved blue shirt and green vest. He leaned against the locker and watched Naruto silently.
“What?” Naruto barked at him. “Say it already.”
Shikamaru shook his head. “Dinner another time then?” he smiled. Naruto felt like a bucket of water had been dumped on him. In the scant few minutes he had been with his former fling, he had completely forgotten Shikamaru’s request.
“Tomorrow, I promise. I’ll buy you whatever you want.”
Shikamaru tilted his head as though he was considering something. The smile on his face let Naruto know he had put two and two together long ago. Naruto faced his locker and hoped he had managed to keep at least one emotion off his face.
“Have fun tonight,” Shikamaru said. “Just don’t forget to tell Sasuke when you’re done.”
Naruto’s fingers grasped the cold metal of his locker. His hand paused there as the warning sank in. He had already violated one rule by not telling Sasuke about his fling that very night. He nodded to his empty locker and lowered his gaze to the floor.
“I will,” he said, wishing there had been a little more conviction behind those words. His anxiety from that morning came back to him. “Of course I will,” he said.
“Good,” Shikamaru said pleasantly. “I wouldn’t want our season blown because our stars can’t play nice.” Shikamaru pat Naruto’s shoulder. A gesture that should have been comforting, but wasn’t. Shikamaru footsteps echoed off the concrete. Naruto listened as they faded, silenced by the slam of a heavy door.
“It’s not like I planned this,” Naruto whispered to himself. He slammed his locker shut and picked up his bag. Marching back to the entrance he paused there, eyes trained on the section of the bathroom visible to him.
He was just doing what was right, he told himself.
A figure emerged and Naruto snapped to attention, noting the absence of the hooded sweatshirt. It was tied around a slender waist, hanging loose around dark jeans. The stranger wore a long sleeved black button up that was buttoned all the way to his collar. As he approached, the green pinstripes became more noticeable. Naruto felt rather slovenly in his frog t-shirt, but he didn’t comment. He zipped up his black and orange wind breaker.
As Sasuke reminded him, on many occasions, style had never been his strong suit.
“Did it come out?” he said, glancing down at the other’s waist. He forced his eyes elsewhere when he realized it might be misinterpreted.
The shorter man said nothing, practically ignoring him as he pushed the heavy doors open. “We’ll see,” he said. The coffee cup he had carried earlier was gone. Naruto followed him out and took a few quick steps to catch up. Keeping pace, he realized that he should be leading the way.
“Do you go here?” Naruto asked curiously. “Because I’ve never seen you before and I spend a lot of time on the fields and I suppose in the locker room too for that matter and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before. You’re not a new student, are you?”
Naruto inwardly cringed at the diarrhea coming out of his mouth, but he was nervous and couldn’t stop himself.
The other man shook his head. His black shoes carried him briskly across the pavement, sidestepping the odd breaks where the roots had pushed up from the ground.
“Are you a student?” Naruto persisted. “Are you visiting the campus for some reason?” He loped alongside the other man who seemed to walk just a little faster than when they started.
“So we can hang out?” was the sharp retort.
Naruto fell silent. They crossed through the space between the tennis courts and the intramural fields. They moved steadily toward the wide open quad where the student union was located. Above them, an orange light flickered on, washing his companion’s fair complexion in warm tones.
“Hey,” Naruto said, suddenly stopping. “I didn’t expect that to happen last night.” His companion paused and turned to face him. His young face looked tired and Naruto noticed the circles under his eyes.
Naruto turned and looked at the fairly empty quad in front of them. His eyes fixed on the student union sign now glowing in the distance. He remembered another sign and another conversation. In some sense, he had instigated everything.
“I thought I was helping, at the bar. I wasn’t trying to impress you and I didn’t follow you back to your hotel room looking for any favors.”
The green eyes boring into him looked hard as glass. Still, the edge in his jaw eased a little.
“It happened and it’s over. Leave it at that,” was the sharp reply.
Naruto frowned. He should have been relieved by this. He should have rejoiced that he was free, off the hook; here was proof that what had happened between them meant absolutely nothing.
So why did he feel so disappointed? True, they were strangers; there was no love between them. But to be dismissed so easily, to be brushed aside like nothing made him feel cheap and used.
Naruto pressed his lips together and said nothing. Clenching his jaw he turned and walked brusquely. His companion kept up beside him and they walked silently in the direction of the coffee shop.
When they reached it, the lights were out. Naruto tugged on the locked door in frustration. “You can’t be closed it’s only 7!” he yelled to no one in particular. His own angry reflection looked back at him from the glass door. He fingers clenched tightly around the handle and he shook the door as hard as he could. “I can’t seem to get anything right,” he said, releasing the handle of the door with a huff.
“It’s fine,” his companion said softly. He pinched the bridge of his nose, reminding Naruto of the times his aunt Tsunade complained of headaches. Usually the kind that accompanied a hangover.
“There’s an Italian restaurant just off campus.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Then you can watch me eat while you sip your espresso,” Naruto said. His stomach let out a growl as though it approved of this idea. Naruto clutched his middle sheepishly. “It’s dinner time,” he explained.
His companion shook his head. “I’d prefer it if I could be alone right now.”
“In the middle of Tokyo?” Naruto snorted. “Good luck.”
His companion looked ready to kill him for that comment, but the anger quickly passed, supplanted with a type of weariness Naruto recognized.
“Hey,” he said, softening his tone, “are you okay?”
His companion rubbed the bridge of his nose again. “I don’t do well around lots of people,” he said. “This city,” his sentence trailed off.
Naruto smiled, thinking of the many times Shikamaru had wandered off to get away from people and places and things. He always compared Tokyo to a beehive, constantly buzzing; always on the go.
Naruto smiled and thanked Shikamaru for being so anti-social. Naruto reached for the other’s hand and tugged him back toward the quad.
“See now that I can help you with.”
-
Naruto dug through his plastic bag, pulling out the contents one by one and set it on the concrete floor. He flattened the thin plastic, smoothing out the wrinkles, before shifting everything to sit on top of the makeshift placemat. Taking a small foil packet he held it out to the man settling onto the floor next to him.
“You have a headache, right? I grabbed some, just in case.”
The other man glanced at the item in his hand from over the rim of his coffee cup. He shook his head, lifting the cup as if to explain and took another sip.
“You’re a coffee-addict, aren’t you?” Naruto teased. A pale brow lifted as if to say “so what?” Naruto smiled and picked up the chopsticks wrapped in plastic. He pulled them apart and said a hasty “itadakimasu” before reaching for his cup ramen. “Not that there’s anything wrong with it,” he added. “I suppose I could say I’m addicted to ramen since I eat it practically every day. And maybe running. Can you get addicted to a runner’s high? I didn’t think so, but I get grumpy if I’m not active every day.”
“Do you always talk so much?” his companion asked.
“When I’m not running or eating ramen,” Naruto grinned. To illustrate his point, he pulled back the paper lid and allowed the steam to rise into the warm Tokyo air. He lifted a tangle of noodles and blew softly before slurping them up noisily. The salt and spice invaded his mouth, the heat of the noodles spreading a familiar warmth as they slid their way down. Naruto let out a sigh of content before shoveling in another mouthful.
While his jaw worked to chew the blob of noodles he had inhaled, he put his chopsticks down and reached for the rice ball sitting upright on his bag. He held it out to his companion.
The other man shook his head, but Naruto ignored this, waving the rice ball emphatically.
“Man can’t live on coffee alone,” Naruto supplied, tossing it into the other’s lap. He picked up his chopsticks and busied himself with his noodles, before the other could take the initiative to return the small gift. Slurping up some of the broth, he glanced sideways and noted that his guest had not touched it. The cellophane wrapped triangle sat where it landed.
The redhead’s attention was elsewhere, green eyes fixed on the high buildings illuminated by so many squares of light along the Tokyo skyline. Naruto turned to see what he was looking at, but it could have been anything.
“You’re not from Tokyo, are you?” Naruto commented. He lowered his ramen cup, eye drawn to the bright red tattoo on the smooth forehead and green eyes fixed on the horizon. He shook his head. He stood out in Tokyo. Naruto could hardly imagine how much he would stick out in a smaller town.
“My friend Shikamaru grew up in the countryside. He said he used to just lay out on grass and stare up at the clouds or the stars. Here in Tokyo, you can’t really do that, so he comes up here sometimes just to get away from the noise. Me? I love the city. I love the sights, the sounds, the constant movement,” Naruto mused. He liked that he never felt alone. But that admission, he felt was best kept to himself.
“Perhaps you should be out there, enjoying it now,” his companion replied.
Naruto smiled. “You wouldn’t have found this place without me,” he said. The other man smirked, his only acknowledgment of Naruto’s statement, before quickly hiding it behind his cup.
They lapsed into silence again. Naruto took up his cup ramen and finished off the noodles, slurping up the broth until he was tipping the last of it into his mouth. Naruto wiped his damp mouth with the back of his hand and let out a big sigh of content. He put the cup down beside him and leaned back, pressing his palms against the concrete. A small pebble dug into his palm and he ignored it, trying to look like he was relaxed.
“You know, I don’t even know your name,” Naruto mused, stretching out his legs and locking his ankles together. “I mean, I know we don’t really know each other, but it just seems funny.”
His companion remained silent. His fingers shifted to move the rice ball in his lap, the clear plastic wrapping rustled with the movement. He put the rice ball down beside him and clasped his paper cup with both hands.
“And what’s the use of knowing?” he asked.
“It doesn’t strike you as odd?” Naruto was quick to reply. “After... well, you know.”
The cold look in the other’s green eyes returned. His lips were pressed tight with anger.
“So we can date? It was just sex.” He placed the not yet emptied coffee cup between them. His legs shifted, one hand pushing himself off the floor to rise to his feet. “Thanks for the coffee,” he said.
Naruto winced and rubbed his palm over his face.
“Wait,” he said, “I’m sorry. I just... Stay. You don’t have to tell me your name if you don’t want to.”
“You just...? What?” his companion asked. “Wanted to be friends?”
Naruto looked away. He placed his hands in his lap and twiddled his thumbs together. It had been stupid of him. Given his partner’s rather detached attitude toward all of this, he shouldn’t have been surprised. So much for trying to be friendly.
“I just,” he paused. Why was he even trying so hard to begin with? He had bought the coffee, he had shown the location of Shikamaru’s secret hiding spot, so why was he still here?
Naruto ran a hand through his hair, keenly aware of the phone in his pocket and the phone call he had not yet received signaling it was okay to come home.
“I can’t go home yet,” Naruto admitted. “And I kind of don’t want to be alone right now.” The words sounded pathetic in his own ears. He kept his back to his companion, waiting for the sound of the door to close.
The silence stretched on and to ease his impatience, Naruto busied himself with picking at a scab on the back of his hand. Using his nail to work around the edges, he stopped when the wound began to bleed.
A dark figure settled back down beside him. He snatched up the rice ball still sitting between them and tugged down the red tab running along the middle. His removed the cellophane wrapping and took one bite off the top. His attention was on the skyline as he nibbled the small snack. Surprised, Naruto slowly relaxed into a smile. He looked away, and pulled his knees up, wrapping his arms around them.
They sat in silence, only the sounds of the traffic below and the occasional crunch of seaweed interrupting the stillness. Just him and the quiet presence of the stranger sitting beside him. For the moment, it was enough.
“If I thought it meant I could avoid my family, I’d never go home either,” his companion said. Naruto looked up in surprise. His profile was sharp in the glow of city lights. His expression was calm, brow pensive as he chewed.
“Oh no,” Naruto shook his head, “it’s not my family.” He laughed to hide his embarrassment and wondered what Aunt Tsunade would do to him if she thought he was spreading lies about her. “No, I might have my complaints about them every now and then, but I enjoy it too. If I still lived with my aunt and uncle, they would have had me home hours ago or sent out the search and rescue squad,” Naruto chuckled.
He looked out at the city’s blinking lights and imagined his aunt at home, stretched out on a couch with a bottle of sake in her hand, and his uncle hunched over his desk trying to find new metaphors for a woman’s attributes. Naruto smiled to himself.
“You’re not from Tokyo,” his companion observed. Naruto nodded.
The smile faded for a moment. He remembered the face of a girl in a photograph; a vibrant smile and bright blue eyes and a wild mane of red hair.
“My mother was from Tokushima and my father was a foreigner working in Osaka at the time. My uncle tells me they met on the great Naruto bridge over the whirlpools. It’s where my name came from,” he grinned.
Naruto leaned back and craned his neck to look up at the sky. “My uncle said my mom was a total babe-- that it was love at first sight.”
“Was?” his companion glanced up.
Naruto met his gaze and nodded. “I never met her.” A sober look greeted him. The redhead beside him looked contemplative for a moment before looking away again. Naruto looked at the stars the way he used to when his uncle told him about his parents. He used to imagine he’d see their faces sometime, watching him from heaven the way Aunt Tsunade said they did.
“She died while having me. My uncle says I’m just like her, but I don’t know anything about her outside of a few photographs. My father tried to raise me, but he traveled a lot because of his job. During one of his long bus trips there was an accident.” Naruto looked down at his knees. His uncle had kept the newspaper clipping from that time. He could still envision his father’s portrait, and a smile preserved in black and white. “I was too little at the time to really remember it. I was passed around for awhile after that until my aunt and uncle took me in. They’re not really blood related, but they were good friends of my dad’s. They raised me,” Naruto added. “So while I’m not from Tokyo, I’m not from anywhere really. It’s nice to be in one spot. To have a place to call home as crazy as it might seem. It should be a dream right? Life without parents.”
He had said it jokingly, but his smile faltered when he saw the almost pained expression half hidden by shadows. Pale brows were furrowed, green eyes unblinking as they fixed on the half eaten rice ball in his hands.
He shook his head. “Like you, my mother died in childbirth,” he said soberly. “My father passed away a few years ago.”
For a moment Naruto paused, the meaning still slowly sinking in. He chortled and looked out at the sky, fixing his attention on the blinking light of a plane off in the distance.
For a brief moment he felt a moment of kinship with the man sitting beside him despite not knowing his name, where he was from or even if the story he just told was true. An intuition, or a gut feeling told him it wasn’t a lie. He wondered if this is what had drawn them together; some sort of invisible force attracting like to like. Naruto closed his eyes and reminded himself not to be silly. It was a coincidence. It had to be.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said. The other shook his head, shrugging it off.
Naruto wanted to ask more. He wanted to pry into his past, to ask if growing up had been just as lonely. Instead, he reached out and pressed a hand to the other’s shoulder.
His companion shrugged it off. “It’s not a big deal, okay? I never knew my mother and I hated my father.”
Naruto pat his shoulder anyway. “That was a thank you, for sharing with me.” The tension in the other man’s shoulders relaxed.
He lifted his coffee cup and drained off the rest of it.
“Won’t you have trouble sleeping tonight?” Naruto changed the topic. The redhead shrugged his shoulders.
“Always. Coffee won’t make a difference.”
Naruto frowned. Thinking back to the night before he recalled that his companion had been wide awake even as Naruto felt tempted to give in to his sleepy lull.
“You suffer from insomnia?” he asked. He craned his neck to try to see the other man better. He noted the dark smudges under his eyes again.
“Sometimes. It was worse when I was younger. But if I’m going to sleep, coffee won’t make a difference. Trust me. When I crash I crash. Just don’t try to wake me up when I do.”
Naruto snorted. “Mr. cranky-pants are you? I believe it,” he teased.
“My brother found out the hard way,” the other man cracked a smile.
Naruto’s face lit up like he had just stumbled across a small treasure.
“You have a brother?” he prodded. His companion grimaced a little when he realized his admission. He lowered his head and acted like one caught.
He nodded and left it at that.
Naruto recalled his earlier statement and realized perhaps he had stumbled across more than he bargained for.
“I always wished I had siblings,” Naruto wondered aloud. “Someone to play with, to fight and tease and make up with at the end of the day. Though I suppose my friend Sakura is like a sister. Albeit a well-meaning, slightly abusive one.” Naruto rubbed the back of his head absently, remembering the bite behind Sakura’s disciplinary measures.
“You’re not missing much,” was the reply.
“Yeah? What’s it like?” Naruto said.
His companion shrugged. He seemed to shrink in on himself a little, his shoulders slumped. For a moment, the tension in his expression disappeared. The mask he had held onto slipped temporarily, revealing just a boy.
“We’re not close,” he said, the mask slipping back into place. “Hard to be friendly with someone who kills your mother.”
Naruto opened his mouth to protest. But he paused, realizing it wasn’t for him to say. His opinion wasn’t the one that mattered. Still, Naruto felt a surge of protectiveness rise within his chest. He felt angry all of a sudden, irked that someone blood related, someone who was family could be so cruel to his or her own kind.
Naruto’s fingers clenched and unclenched. He resisted the urge to pull the other man into a hug, to hold him and let him know he knew what it was like to feel alone.
Naruto looked at him, certain that every bit of his longing was clear on his face. He warred internally, debating whether or not he should say something, whether he might help by sharing some of his own pain. Green eyes met his, defensive at first while he searched Naruto’s expression. Whatever he saw there, it made his mask slip again. There was for a moment, a raw look in his eyes, his teeth biting his lower lip. And for the life of him, Naruto wanted nothing more than to reach out for him and hold him; to kiss that expression off his face.
Naruto felt himself leaning forward. He paused again, eyes roaming over the other’s mouth. His intentions couldn’t have been more clear and the other man paused with indecision. Time seemed to freeze, and nothing existed but a distance that grew shorter with the passing of each breath.
Naruto moved to lean closer, to bridge the gap between them. His hand knocked against the upright ramen cup, the styrofoam falling and rolling along the concrete. The sound startled him and he rushed to pick it up, to set it out of the way. But when he looked back up the moment had been lost.
Embarrassed, Naruto glanced away. His companion also averted his gaze, pretending not to notice whatever just occurred. His nerves still on edge, Naruto pulled out his phone and checked the time on the bright LCD screen. He pretended to check his email for a new message. Putting it away, he cleared his throat.
“How are your bruises?” Naruto asked conversationally.
“Still there,” his companion answered.
Naruto ran his hand over his shin absently. The skin was still sensitive and he rubbed at it, hoping it would be in decent shape before the game.
“You helped me out big time yesterday,” Naruto continued. “Icing my leg. Had it turned out any worse, my coach would have benched me. As it is, I’m in for a week of pain.”
“You play soccer?”
Naruto ignored the disbelief underlying the other man’s tone. “Forward actually. I’ve got a game coming up. You should come by and watch, if you’re still in town. We’re playing a game against this really tough team. But I think we have a good chance. Me and Sasuke are really gonna give it to them!”
He hazarded a glance at his companion and found him pensive. He shook his red curls, his unblinking eyes seeing more than the concrete beyond his feet. For a moment he looked angry and Naruto wondered what he did wrong.
“Of course. Tokushima. The whirlpools at Naruto,” he said to himself. “This was a mistake,” he said, getting up. He got up quickly and dusted off his pants, heading toward the the door. Naruto hopped onto his feet and followed after him, bewildered by this sudden 180. He grabbed the other man by the arm and turned him around.
“What did I do? What’s wrong?”
The other man shook his head, refusing to look Naruto in the eye. “You’re Uzumaki Naruto! And I’m not your friend,” the other man said harshly. “I can’t be,” he said, lifting his face. In the light afforded to them by the surrounding buildings, his angry expression was softened by something in his eyes. Naruto wanted to shake him, to demand that he explain. The other man shook his head in response. “Forget any of this happened,” he said, tearing free of Naruto’s grip.
Stunned, Naruto watched him walk away.
-
By the time he reached home, Naruto had replayed their conversation like a broken record. He had investigated every comment, every action, trying to discover what he had possibly done to offend the other man so much.
But he knew his name. He had recognized it. Had they somehow encountered each other in their past? Naruto shook his head. He had a feeling he would have remembered someone like that.
Sasuke was stretched out on the couch as he entered. He was in nothing but a pair of boxers, his love bites clearly on display. Naruto forced a smile onto his face and waved at him.
“Looks like you had fun,” he said, locking the door behind him. He dropped his gear on the floor, kicking his sneakers off and watched one land on the shoe rack upside down while the other flew wide and collided with the wooden floor.
Sasuke smirked. His eyes still looked a little glazed from his post-coital bliss, his body relaxed, melting into the cushions.
A day ago this might have bothered him. But Naruto found he was still too pre-occupied, still haunted by that glimpse of momentary regret on the rooftops. He was haunted by his inability to decipher the cause and the simple fact that he wanted to.
Naruto tried to focus on Sasuke, to keep his head in the here and now. Nothing else should have mattered. So why was he mulling over the possibility that he would never see the other man again?
Sasuke’s attention was fixed on him. Naruto tried to smile, to placate whatever suspicions were starting to surface in his partner’s expression.
“Meet me in the shower?” Naruto asked. Sasuke paused, waiting for an explanation. Naruto offered none. He hated that he was feeling like this. He hated that his guilt less than a few hours ago had all but dissipated into a need to forget everything. Especially that hurt look he had sympathized with all too well.
Sasuke nodded and Naruto accepted it as a dismissal. Naruto was silent as he stepped into the bedroom. He flipped on the light and seeing his bed, exhaustion seemed to flood every part of his body. It had been a long day and he was tired and not thinking straight. The shower would help. It would clear his head.
Naruto unzipped his flak jacket and tossed it onto the neat coverlet. He pulled up his shirt and threw it, adding onto the small pile. He pulled off his socks before stepping into the bathroom, feeling the cold tiles against the soles of his feet. Turning the hot water knob, he felt the spray of water on his fingertips. He waited for it to heat up and let his thoughts roam.
He jumped when he felt a hand press against his back; fingers tracing the red marks left from another set of lips.
“Who did you have fun with?” Sasuke teased. His hands slid around his waist, fingers unbuckling the brass button of Naruto’s jeans. The water began to steam. The droplets pelted across the porcelain tub and Naruto leaned toward it as Sasuke’s hand rubbed over him.
“A boy,” Naruto said. “Just a boy I met.”
“Hrn?” Sasuke’s fingers slid down his zipper.
“I don’t,” Naruto began. Sasuke’s hands tugged his jeans down. They slid past his hips before falling to his ankles. A rough palm slid across his belly. “I didn’t know his name,” Naruto finished.
Sasuke’s hands slid over his boxers again. He rubbed his palm against him slowly, trying to coax the reaction Naruto was having difficulty achieving.
“How was he?” Sasuke asked. “Was he good,” his husky voice whispered into his ear. Sasuke pressed a kiss to Naruto’s neck, dropping to his shoulder.
Closing his eyes, Naruto envisioned another man giving him that original kiss, marking that very spot with his tongue and teeth.
Sasuke’s mouth moved lower and Naruto sighed as he recognized the pattern; the marks on his back. Sasuke’s mouth was drawn to each one, connecting them like dots. His tongue traced over each one gently, claiming them in some way for his own.
Naruto’s stomach flip flopped as he remembered the other man, his torso warm against his back as he dropped those kisses. The order had been wrong. It had been in reverse. The kiss on his neck had been accompanied by a heat pressing against him. A thickness forcing his body to stretch, a pain that melted with the kisses at his neck and a slick hand gliding between his legs.
Naruto moaned as Sasuke’s fingers slipped beneath his boxers. His cock twitched as he remembered that other body, barely inside him. The way he kept his hips perfectly still. The way he teased and tortured him with pleasure until Naruto was rolling his own hips toward him, impaling himself on the stiff length pressing inside him.
“I take that as a yes.”
Naruto opened his eyes. Sasuke’s voice was almost a shock to him. For a moment he realized what he was doing and he pulled away, taking off his boxers and stepping under the spray of the scalding hot water. He grit his teeth and bore it, his hand spinning the hot water tab in the opposite direction. Sasuke stepped in beside him.
Naruto leaned his hand against the tile, allowing the water to soak into his hair, to drip down his face. Sasuke’s hands were sliding against him again. Slick with soap, pale fingers cleaned him with more thoroughness than he wanted at the moment.
“What type of bottom was he?” Sasuke teased. “Did he take it like a good little girl or was he bossy like me?”
Naruto clenched his eyes tight. He shook his head. Tipping his face up to the shower head, he opened his mouth and allowed the water to fill it.
It was best if he forgot, he told himself. It was best if this was never brought up again.
“Pushy,” Naruto faked a laugh. He turned in the radius of Sasuke’s arms. He Wiped the water out of his eyes and looked into a familiar set of dark eyes. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to his lover’s. “Pushy, but not like you. Nothing like you,” he said with a little too much emphasis.
Sasuke grinned at him. His kiss was rough, possessive, tongue forcing its way between Naruto’s lips. Naruto closed his eyes and tried to lose himself in it. Their legs twined together, his body recoiling when his shoulder blades pressed against the cold tile.
Sasuke pulled away and his eyes were mischievous as he sank to his knees. Naruto watched him, forced himself to watch so his mind didn’t betray him with other thoughts.
This is what I wanted, he reminded himself, swearing he’d never do it again. Determined to never allow himself to get so confused again. Sasuke’s breath was hot against his tip. Naruto turned his head, not caring that the hot spray of the water splashed against him. He braced his knees as Sasuke enveloped his length, his hand threading through damp hair.
But it wasn’t the same. There was something empty in it. It wasn’t as good as last night.