I thank you for this most amazing
Following an appointment on Bee caves this afternoon, I decided to cut through barton springs road to downtown in order to skip the Mopac Rush House Traffic. As I curved around zilker, I saw the entrance to the botanical gardens and it called my name. At first, I ignored the feeling, figuring I had to rush back to campus to do nothing. After maybe a hundred yards, I pulled a u-turn and made my way back to the botanical gardens.
It was a beautiful day my friends. Warm, dry, breezy, sunny, Spring! I couldn't ask for anything more. All alone with my harmonica in hand and a good sense of self I ventured primarily through the oriental gardens. Being spring, the trees and flowers were all in bloom. I walked around everywhere. There are so many beautiful rock arrangements, tree, flowers, ponds, waterfalls, walkways, bamboo shoots. I had this sense of reverence for the great mystical teacher and wanted to learn from everything around me. Every step I took, I asked nature to teach me something or present some opportunity.
I walked up these rocks around a small man-made waterfall. It was crafted by Isamu Taniguchi to be exact. At the top there was this amazing tree spreading across the rocks with branches reaching and winding in all directions.(you can see a 360* view here; however the flowers are not in bloom) All its flowers were in bloom, it was amazing. Many different times I would just be with the tree. Bees were coming and going pollinating the flowers. Butterflies as well. An image of the perfected world: bees and butterflies spreading life together. It was amazing. At one instance I was observing some bees and appreciating the beauty and complexity of all the insects playing an important role in the grand design. And I thought its just a bee...and then I thought "Just be" as in they are living in complete presence.
I've been really off center since octoberish for many different reasons. I haven't been really present, just lost in my thoughts. Trying to figure out what to be, how to be, wishing I didn't have to be, trying to be what I once was, but never just living in the present tense. I had actually just come from a psychologist appointment. I go to facilitate my thoughts, to move past the mental block to presence I have placed myself in, and mostly for catharsis. I just wanted to find myself again.
While watching the bees, I let go of my attachment to my thoughts and inhibitions. It was amazing. I started looking up, observing bees and butterflies and above the tree I saw an amazing kite flying way off in the distance. After a moment, I started thinking about trivial matters, and ended up looking at the ground. After another few moments, I came to and looked up and the kite was gone. I just smiled and thought, is that so, and proceeded to journey through more of the garden.
Walking along the path silently, watching all the other vistors with their children, I came across this one part of the pond and just sat down. I noticed there was a bee in the water. It was struggling for life, constantly fluttering it's wings, trying to find a lilly or a stick to crawl on. Remembering the prime directive I didn't want to interfere, so I just observed. After a while the bee stopped fluttering it's wings and gave up. It was still alive. I was hoping it would get out, but it just drifted with the light current. I eventually stuck in a twig for the bee to crawl out on. It's wing was damaged and it was wet and could not fly away. I placed it upon another tree from which other bees were gathering pollen and let it be on its way. Although I did not interfere with fate in anyway, maybe it was my dharma in someway.
In short, it was amazingly transformative afternoon. Life has really been an amazing ride. As I noted, I have gone through some really interesting/difficult/odd emotional and psychological stages this year. I feel really at peace with all that I've done/come through this far and have really found myself again. This year, I really got confused about alot of things, and tried to find myself through religion. I found a passage in the Gita which I feel describes why I chose that path. Lord Krishna is explaining sacred duty and the purpose of life to Arjuna and says
"Whenever sacred duty decays
and chaos prevails,
then, I create
myself, Arjuna"
Chapter 4, Verse 7
I feel this is true for mankind, that when we do not know our path we search for g-d or some higher power for guidance (of course, we should be mindful of the divine even when we are on our path).
Last thursday, I made the change to an english major. I am excited. I feel best when I am reading and writing. It feels right, I want to study expression and teach others to express. For some reason when I got to college, I thought I wanted to study all these different things in order to obtain professional credibility. But I want really to learn and to express myself. As Krishna says
"Look to your own duty;
do not tremble before it;
nothing is better for a warrior
than a battle of sacred duty"
Chapter 2, Verse 31
This is my duty, and I am ready for my battlefield.
So without getting any more abstract I would like to leave you with a poem which exemplifies my afternoon:
I thank you G-d for this most amazing- e.e.cummings
I Thank You G-d for this most amazing
day: for leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and love and wings: and of gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable you?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
Thank you for reading.
P.S. I will have shorter entries in the future.
P.P.S. G-d bless.
It was a beautiful day my friends. Warm, dry, breezy, sunny, Spring! I couldn't ask for anything more. All alone with my harmonica in hand and a good sense of self I ventured primarily through the oriental gardens. Being spring, the trees and flowers were all in bloom. I walked around everywhere. There are so many beautiful rock arrangements, tree, flowers, ponds, waterfalls, walkways, bamboo shoots. I had this sense of reverence for the great mystical teacher and wanted to learn from everything around me. Every step I took, I asked nature to teach me something or present some opportunity.
I walked up these rocks around a small man-made waterfall. It was crafted by Isamu Taniguchi to be exact. At the top there was this amazing tree spreading across the rocks with branches reaching and winding in all directions.(you can see a 360* view here; however the flowers are not in bloom) All its flowers were in bloom, it was amazing. Many different times I would just be with the tree. Bees were coming and going pollinating the flowers. Butterflies as well. An image of the perfected world: bees and butterflies spreading life together. It was amazing. At one instance I was observing some bees and appreciating the beauty and complexity of all the insects playing an important role in the grand design. And I thought its just a bee...and then I thought "Just be" as in they are living in complete presence.
I've been really off center since octoberish for many different reasons. I haven't been really present, just lost in my thoughts. Trying to figure out what to be, how to be, wishing I didn't have to be, trying to be what I once was, but never just living in the present tense. I had actually just come from a psychologist appointment. I go to facilitate my thoughts, to move past the mental block to presence I have placed myself in, and mostly for catharsis. I just wanted to find myself again.
While watching the bees, I let go of my attachment to my thoughts and inhibitions. It was amazing. I started looking up, observing bees and butterflies and above the tree I saw an amazing kite flying way off in the distance. After a moment, I started thinking about trivial matters, and ended up looking at the ground. After another few moments, I came to and looked up and the kite was gone. I just smiled and thought, is that so, and proceeded to journey through more of the garden.
Walking along the path silently, watching all the other vistors with their children, I came across this one part of the pond and just sat down. I noticed there was a bee in the water. It was struggling for life, constantly fluttering it's wings, trying to find a lilly or a stick to crawl on. Remembering the prime directive I didn't want to interfere, so I just observed. After a while the bee stopped fluttering it's wings and gave up. It was still alive. I was hoping it would get out, but it just drifted with the light current. I eventually stuck in a twig for the bee to crawl out on. It's wing was damaged and it was wet and could not fly away. I placed it upon another tree from which other bees were gathering pollen and let it be on its way. Although I did not interfere with fate in anyway, maybe it was my dharma in someway.
In short, it was amazingly transformative afternoon. Life has really been an amazing ride. As I noted, I have gone through some really interesting/difficult/odd emotional and psychological stages this year. I feel really at peace with all that I've done/come through this far and have really found myself again. This year, I really got confused about alot of things, and tried to find myself through religion. I found a passage in the Gita which I feel describes why I chose that path. Lord Krishna is explaining sacred duty and the purpose of life to Arjuna and says
"Whenever sacred duty decays
and chaos prevails,
then, I create
myself, Arjuna"
Chapter 4, Verse 7
I feel this is true for mankind, that when we do not know our path we search for g-d or some higher power for guidance (of course, we should be mindful of the divine even when we are on our path).
Last thursday, I made the change to an english major. I am excited. I feel best when I am reading and writing. It feels right, I want to study expression and teach others to express. For some reason when I got to college, I thought I wanted to study all these different things in order to obtain professional credibility. But I want really to learn and to express myself. As Krishna says
"Look to your own duty;
do not tremble before it;
nothing is better for a warrior
than a battle of sacred duty"
Chapter 2, Verse 31
This is my duty, and I am ready for my battlefield.
So without getting any more abstract I would like to leave you with a poem which exemplifies my afternoon:
I thank you G-d for this most amazing- e.e.cummings
I Thank You G-d for this most amazing
day: for leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and love and wings: and of gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable you?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
Thank you for reading.
P.S. I will have shorter entries in the future.
P.P.S. G-d bless.