(no subject)
I keep tricking myself into thinking that I have free time when I don't. It's important to take at least one hour of your day to do something entirely for yourself that you find enjoyable and within this hour you aren't allowed to do anything that is work or school related. This is supposed to help you not burn out. Sometimes I'll take way more than one hour though. And sometimes I'll deprive myself of that hour for days. I'm not getting the kind of reinforcement I want. I wish whenever I don't put effort into something that I'll get a really bad mark on it and that whenever I worked really hard on something that I'll get a really good mark on it. But that's not always case. So my work ethic is kind of terrible and all over the place. It's getting out of hand the amount of things I've been doing last minute. I want to plan something out, carefully and step by step. I want to put a lot of time and effort into into it and I want to be proud to show it off to people.
It's my last year of undergrad and I want it to be a good year full of lots of great memories. I don't plan on going to grad school so I guess my grades not really matter. I want to do well though, just for my own personal self-concept. I'm not a slacker. I'm not below average. I'm not a person that only aims to scrape by and do the bare minimum... I feel like I'm trying too hard to convince myself of that though. I shouldn't have to be trying so hard to dismiss those attributes.
I'm unsure where I stand with my residents. I'm not very good at assessing my relationships with people. Whenever they're nice to me and talk to me it's a pleasant surprise. Even though they're never not nice to me so I'm not sure why it still comes as a surprise. Today, one of my students asked me if I was free next weekend because she was going to a conference at a different university and wanted me to come along with her and be her roommate. I was beyond flattered that she was comfortable enough around me to want to share a room with me.
It's my last year of undergrad and I want it to be a good year full of lots of great memories. I don't plan on going to grad school so I guess my grades not really matter. I want to do well though, just for my own personal self-concept. I'm not a slacker. I'm not below average. I'm not a person that only aims to scrape by and do the bare minimum... I feel like I'm trying too hard to convince myself of that though. I shouldn't have to be trying so hard to dismiss those attributes.
I'm unsure where I stand with my residents. I'm not very good at assessing my relationships with people. Whenever they're nice to me and talk to me it's a pleasant surprise. Even though they're never not nice to me so I'm not sure why it still comes as a surprise. Today, one of my students asked me if I was free next weekend because she was going to a conference at a different university and wanted me to come along with her and be her roommate. I was beyond flattered that she was comfortable enough around me to want to share a room with me.