xX i drag behind Xx
'i was alone falling free, trying my best not to forget'
I'm hatting myself at the moment (not in some suicidal way) i'm just sick of me. My grandmother passed away and i didn't cry.. i still haven't.. i'm feeling crappy thats it's taken me this long to realise she isn't comming back. Today i was gonna go to a church (yeah i know me in a church) so i could just think about it (my grandmother went to church every sundaay when she lived in aus) Well i didn't end up going for my fear of churches.. instead i went to the clocktower and checked out there museum.. it was a like a museum of rights and it was FUCKING AWSOME. It has a HUGE wall which is chalk board.. and you write your MSG. I wrote a few things.. 'homosexuality is not a crime' some lyrics and 'ANT ROX' some of the things written on that wall were amazing... so inspiring. I checked out the rest of the museum thing which had badges.. protests... t-shirts i want some of them.. though they are all so old lol they should be re-made coz they have so much meaning.
So i got kinda bored in the city and it was about 4 o'clock so i sat on the grass and thought. There was this really funky guy who kept making me smile for some reason. He was listening to music and kinda dancing to it, i loved how he didn't care what people thought. I wish i was that way, but i pretend to be... things people say do REALLY hurt me.. i don't know why.
Well i went to Olias where we were ment to be having a picnic on her veranda but instead we just had dinner.. which was really nice instead of partying and stuff. I'm really sick of party's, sure they are fun.. but sometimes i just want normal-ness.. Just a serious convo with my friends.. but alot of them don't really want the same. When i was walking to the trainstation i couldn't help but feel scared, i know it may sound VERY stupid but i mean.. cars.. people.. main road... south bank.. it's a lil grrrrrrr-ish if you ask me. I mean i had 2 other people walking with me but we can't fight off people.. we can't all controll whats gonna happen... i dunno maybe i just think WAY TO MUCH.
Well recently i joined www.mogenic.com it's a gay and lesbian site to meet friends... it's really good i've met some really nice people there.. so thats pretty good.
well thats about it.
peace
ant xx
I'm hatting myself at the moment (not in some suicidal way) i'm just sick of me. My grandmother passed away and i didn't cry.. i still haven't.. i'm feeling crappy thats it's taken me this long to realise she isn't comming back. Today i was gonna go to a church (yeah i know me in a church) so i could just think about it (my grandmother went to church every sundaay when she lived in aus) Well i didn't end up going for my fear of churches.. instead i went to the clocktower and checked out there museum.. it was a like a museum of rights and it was FUCKING AWSOME. It has a HUGE wall which is chalk board.. and you write your MSG. I wrote a few things.. 'homosexuality is not a crime' some lyrics and 'ANT ROX' some of the things written on that wall were amazing... so inspiring. I checked out the rest of the museum thing which had badges.. protests... t-shirts i want some of them.. though they are all so old lol they should be re-made coz they have so much meaning.
So i got kinda bored in the city and it was about 4 o'clock so i sat on the grass and thought. There was this really funky guy who kept making me smile for some reason. He was listening to music and kinda dancing to it, i loved how he didn't care what people thought. I wish i was that way, but i pretend to be... things people say do REALLY hurt me.. i don't know why.
Well i went to Olias where we were ment to be having a picnic on her veranda but instead we just had dinner.. which was really nice instead of partying and stuff. I'm really sick of party's, sure they are fun.. but sometimes i just want normal-ness.. Just a serious convo with my friends.. but alot of them don't really want the same. When i was walking to the trainstation i couldn't help but feel scared, i know it may sound VERY stupid but i mean.. cars.. people.. main road... south bank.. it's a lil grrrrrrr-ish if you ask me. I mean i had 2 other people walking with me but we can't fight off people.. we can't all controll whats gonna happen... i dunno maybe i just think WAY TO MUCH.
Well recently i joined www.mogenic.com it's a gay and lesbian site to meet friends... it's really good i've met some really nice people there.. so thats pretty good.
well thats about it.
peace
ant xx