Once upon a time there was a band of pirates. At least, they called themselves pirates, and they wore what they thought were pirate outfits -- black eyepatches, filthy bandanas and hats, worn-out parts of sailors' uniforms, and so on. They spoke in slang that they believed to be quite piratish: "Arr, matey! Shiver me timbers! Walk the plank!"
However, despite their clothing and speech and self-identification as pirates, they never left shore. In fact, they spent most of their time on the beach, using an old tarnished spyglass to watch other pirates put out to sea or make raids on frigates.
"Yarrrr!" they would shout when they spotted a pirate ship overtaking a merchant vessel. "Board 'em! Board 'em! No mercy for the merchant scum!" At the height of their excitement they would often unfurl a battered old Jolly Roger and wave it frantically in support of their seagoing brethren.
Every now and then a pirate ship would weigh anchor in the bay and send a boat ashore. The pro-pirate landlubbers would greet the real pirates as if they were partners in crime. If the pirates had never encountered the landlubbers before, they would treat them as fellow pirates, simply because their language and clothing were so convincing. However, over time, most pirates discovered that this strange band had never actually been on a ship, let alone committed acts of piracy. Thereafter they ignored the impostor pirates, or treated them with barely concealed contempt.
One day the band of beach pirates were scanning the horizon with their battered spyglass. They spotted a pirate ship hiding in a cove, and another patrolling the shallow waters to the west. In the distance they saw a large merchant frigate approaching.
"Oh joy! Today we can loot and burn another vessel!" they exclaimed as they watched the merchant frigate draw within reach of the two pirate ships. The pirates in the western shallow waters began sailing towards the merchant frigate, while the pirates in the cove raised their sails and began cutting off the frigate's escape route.
Much to the surprise of the beach pirates, the real pirate ships sailed alongside the merchant frigate and greeted its crew with hails of familiarity. The frigate crew appeared to be happy to see the pirates. What was going on?
Once upon a time there was a band of pirates. At least, they called themselves pirates, and they wore what they thought were pirate outfits -- black eyepatches, filthy bandanas and hats, worn-out parts of sailors' uniforms, and so on. They spoke in slang that they believed to be quite piratish: "Arr, matey! Shiver me timbers! Walk the plank!"
However, despite their clothing and speech and self-identification as pirates, they never left shore. In fact, they spent most of their time on the beach, using an old tarnished spyglass to watch other pirates put out to sea or make raids on frigates.
"Yarrrr!" they would shout when they spotted a pirate ship overtaking a merchant vessel. "Board 'em! Board 'em! No mercy for the merchant scum!" At the height of their excitement they would often unfurl a battered old Jolly Roger and wave it frantically in support of their seagoing brethren.
Every now and then a pirate ship would weigh anchor in the bay and send a boat ashore. The pro-pirate landlubbers would greet the real pirates as if they were partners in crime. If the pirates had never encountered the landlubbers before, they would treat them as fellow pirates, simply because their language and clothing were so convincing. However, over time, most pirates discovered that this strange band had never actually been on a ship, let alone committed acts of piracy. Thereafter they ignored the impostor pirates, or treated them with barely concealed contempt.
One day the band of beach pirates were scanning the horizon with their battered spyglass. They spotted a pirate ship hiding in a cove, and another patrolling the shallow waters to the west. In the distance they saw a large merchant frigate approaching.
"Oh joy! Today we can loot and burn another vessel!" they exclaimed as they watched the merchant frigate draw within reach of the two pirate ships. The pirates in the western shallow waters began sailing towards the merchant frigate, while the pirates in the cove raised their sails and began cutting off the frigate's escape route.
Much to the surprise of the beach pirates, the real pirate ships sailed alongside the merchant frigate and greeted its crew with hails of familiarity. The frigate crew appeared to be happy to see the pirates. What was going on?
For the rest: http://peoplespension.infoshop.org/page/The-Landlubber-Pirates
with love,
-p
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