no more meds!

[tasteoftears]

now i remember wow i stopped taking pills. so i guess that means, umm, alcohol...even though not in an exorbant amount, was a bad idea w/ all the fuckin narcotics i was on. but i didn't hurt...as much. til this morning. i busted ass sooooo hard yesterday. i would just like to take this moment to tell you....RED BULL DOES NOT GIVE YOU WINGS....AND EVEN IF IT DOES....DONT TRY FLYING!!! i tried flying, and then remembered my wings must've been clipped, b/c i fell and fell hard! blair's elbow still hurts from the ds fs 3's. word. i had an amazing conversation w/ blair last night. i wish that anthony could open up to me like that...and i wish we could connect like that. but now, i'm walking on eggshells and breathing shallowly...waiting on anthony's word. i'm just glad my friends could be there for me. i'm sorry i couldn't tell you i was okay when i wasn't...i shouldn't have walked away, i'm sorry if that hurt you, but my heart couldn't stand to lie to you, or even go into the details of why i was on the edge. i'm sorry. i love nikki, and paris is a little fuckin slut whore bitch. i wonder if it would be easier to just let it go...and not care...to just be apathetic....i wonder....i wonder. and that's all i can do on that subject, is wonder, b/c i'd never be able to give my friends anything less than my everything.

ilyb!

i hope travis is okay, b/c his drunk ass left at 6 to feed reptiles at the humane society?!?! wot a fuckin lush.