What the hell is up with my mind?
So graduation came and went. It was possibly one of the worst days of the year and I've yet to figure out why. Tonight I went to a bonfire and felt something I hope I never feel again. It was an overwhelming sense of littleness. I used to love staring into the stars but when I did tonight I felt incredibly scared. I closed my eyes and felt like the world around me turned into sky and a strange sense of infinity surrounded me. It was like I was falling..up. Not in a Shel Silverstine fantastical way but in a sense that the world was pushing me into the sky and I would be jetted into infinity. The waves were louder than they've ever been and I felt so detached from everyone around me. No, I wasn't on drugs. I was merely misplaced. It's taken me this long to understand that the people I wanted to be around are not the people that I connect with. All these people I've thought about getting to know better, and all these people I thought I could re-connect with are just...gone. I don't need anyone. I have lost all sense of love at this moment and I know..by the morning, I'll re-read this and wonder what the hell I was thinking but right now, I feel truly alone...and I want to be alone...but that doesn't bother me. I would like to move away and start over.