(no subject)
the days leading up the funeral were so hard. waiting for that sense of closure richie so desperately needed. just waiting for that chance to see him one last time, all you can do is think too much and obsess. he, along with his sisters, had to set up everything for the viewing/funeral. his aunts and uncles had to get a lot of money together quickly because his dad didn't have life insurance. they went to his dad's apartment and gathered pictures and other mementos they wanted to keep. richie got a pair of his dad's sunglasses, a tie he wore often, his wallet (with nothing in it), a pair of binoculars. used our new printer to copy and print some old photos so they could hang them on the board at the funeral. andrea copied a really nice picture of their father at niagra falls and framed it for him.
collectively through talking with other family members and his dad's girlfriend they pieced together what happened the night he died and came to the conclusion that it wasn't intentional, he just made a mistake. took too much, a bad mix, his previously existing heart problems, it all contributed and his heart couldn't take it. his dad's brother said that he had only used a handful of times recently, his depression was worsening, and he never got over a fight he had with his grandfather who is growing senile and had accused him of things because his mind is going. they all feel like now at least he no longer has to deal with the pain he had in life.
i've now met pretty much everyone on richie's dad's side of the family. his dad had 6 siblings so there's a lot of people to take in. i'm really glad to have been able to be there for all of this though. it's a shame that something like this happening is what it takes to bring a whole family together, but it's also amazing how much support there is when it happens.
saturday morning we got in richie's car to go to the funeral home and the car wouldn't start. i just told him we're taking my car and we're not going to worry about this today. the viewing was first and we were there all day, they had the service at 4pm. richie wore his dad's tie. at first it was very difficult to look at his body laying there, but it was very therapeutic for richie to be able to see him one last time and to be able to say what he needed to say to him. so many people came. by the time the service started the entire room was packed. so many friends and family, an incredible amount of support. throughout the whole viewing they played his dad's favorite songs. sublime, tom petty, pearl jam, lemonheads. everyone seemed to enjoy that and knew right away that that's what he would have picked.
the service was led by a nun who knew the family, and it was really nice. not overly religious, and uplifting. she talked about appreciating your life and the people in it, and about how when a person dies all of their sins are forgiven. richie had written something he wanted to say in front of everyone, and it really seemed to move everybody. it started a chain reaction, once he spoke everyone wanted to say something. they shared memories and what they loved about him, how he was amazing at playing guitar and taking things apart and putting them back together, and how lucky he knew he was for having 4 wonderful children. his aunt angie said it's important to remember him for his life and not how he died, that his death was a result of one mistake and his life was about so much more than that. after it was all over richie waited for the room to clear before he said goodbye. he told his father he forgives him for everything and that he loves him and that he didn't screw up.
after that we went to aunt angie and uncle guy's house (dave's parents) for the wake. all of the events of the day seemed to take a weight off of richie's shoulders. he hadn't been able to enjoy listening to music up until then, but he decided to put on boys night out, turn it up, and sing like he always does. it seemed like practically everyone went to the wake, the house was so crowded you could barely walk around. tons and tons of food. we ended up taking home a lot of it and we have enough ziti to last a week lol. richie is doing a LOT better now and is back to work. it has really really helped having so many supportive people around. i thank everyone who has said nice things to him this past week, everyone who has helped him through this.
yesterday he tried to fix the problem with his car but couldn't figure it out. i told him to just relax instead and we'll deal with it monday. this morning we called the dodge dealership and set up an appointment to bring it in, then called AAA for a tow truck. the tow truck driver got here and immediately knew the problem and was able to fix it without even having to tow it! so it was taken care of much easier than we thought and richie was able to go to work on time.
hopefully we're done dealing with stressful stuff for a while. he's ready to move on and be back to normal life. i'm going to the spy museum in dc tomorrow with josh, billy, and josh's mom for her birthday. never been there before but it should be fun. i didn't go to the circus thursday because richie needed me here. we are so ready for a vacation. we've just had to keep putting it off over and over again.
collectively through talking with other family members and his dad's girlfriend they pieced together what happened the night he died and came to the conclusion that it wasn't intentional, he just made a mistake. took too much, a bad mix, his previously existing heart problems, it all contributed and his heart couldn't take it. his dad's brother said that he had only used a handful of times recently, his depression was worsening, and he never got over a fight he had with his grandfather who is growing senile and had accused him of things because his mind is going. they all feel like now at least he no longer has to deal with the pain he had in life.
i've now met pretty much everyone on richie's dad's side of the family. his dad had 6 siblings so there's a lot of people to take in. i'm really glad to have been able to be there for all of this though. it's a shame that something like this happening is what it takes to bring a whole family together, but it's also amazing how much support there is when it happens.
saturday morning we got in richie's car to go to the funeral home and the car wouldn't start. i just told him we're taking my car and we're not going to worry about this today. the viewing was first and we were there all day, they had the service at 4pm. richie wore his dad's tie. at first it was very difficult to look at his body laying there, but it was very therapeutic for richie to be able to see him one last time and to be able to say what he needed to say to him. so many people came. by the time the service started the entire room was packed. so many friends and family, an incredible amount of support. throughout the whole viewing they played his dad's favorite songs. sublime, tom petty, pearl jam, lemonheads. everyone seemed to enjoy that and knew right away that that's what he would have picked.
the service was led by a nun who knew the family, and it was really nice. not overly religious, and uplifting. she talked about appreciating your life and the people in it, and about how when a person dies all of their sins are forgiven. richie had written something he wanted to say in front of everyone, and it really seemed to move everybody. it started a chain reaction, once he spoke everyone wanted to say something. they shared memories and what they loved about him, how he was amazing at playing guitar and taking things apart and putting them back together, and how lucky he knew he was for having 4 wonderful children. his aunt angie said it's important to remember him for his life and not how he died, that his death was a result of one mistake and his life was about so much more than that. after it was all over richie waited for the room to clear before he said goodbye. he told his father he forgives him for everything and that he loves him and that he didn't screw up.
after that we went to aunt angie and uncle guy's house (dave's parents) for the wake. all of the events of the day seemed to take a weight off of richie's shoulders. he hadn't been able to enjoy listening to music up until then, but he decided to put on boys night out, turn it up, and sing like he always does. it seemed like practically everyone went to the wake, the house was so crowded you could barely walk around. tons and tons of food. we ended up taking home a lot of it and we have enough ziti to last a week lol. richie is doing a LOT better now and is back to work. it has really really helped having so many supportive people around. i thank everyone who has said nice things to him this past week, everyone who has helped him through this.
yesterday he tried to fix the problem with his car but couldn't figure it out. i told him to just relax instead and we'll deal with it monday. this morning we called the dodge dealership and set up an appointment to bring it in, then called AAA for a tow truck. the tow truck driver got here and immediately knew the problem and was able to fix it without even having to tow it! so it was taken care of much easier than we thought and richie was able to go to work on time.
hopefully we're done dealing with stressful stuff for a while. he's ready to move on and be back to normal life. i'm going to the spy museum in dc tomorrow with josh, billy, and josh's mom for her birthday. never been there before but it should be fun. i didn't go to the circus thursday because richie needed me here. we are so ready for a vacation. we've just had to keep putting it off over and over again.