(no subject)
i'm still feeling the effects from friday, it was a very bad day. richie and i went to the ottobar to see dillinger escape plan. there were a bunch of opening bands we had no interest in seeing, but we knew we had to get there semi-early because otherwise there's nowhere to park. we drank a little bit before we went in, but definitely not enough to be drunk. got there 45 minutes after it started so of course there's still opening bands. we decided to drink a little bit more to pass the time and make it less boring. i got a jack and coke, richie got a beer. ran into some friends we hadn't seen for a while, and we were having fun. i got a second jack and coke and i remember almost nothing after that. i was so obliterated that i was completely non-functional. richie had to later fill me in on what had happened because i don't remember any of this.
after drinking the second jack and coke, richie could tell i was getting out of hand because i knocked a full beer out of his hand onto the floor. we sat down in the balcony area and i could barely keep my head up. i was complaining about not feeling well, but insisted we stay because i didn't wanna ruin his night. he decided to take me home, because he could tell this wasn't going to be good. we did not get to see one minute of dillinger escape plan. we left right before they went on.
on the car ride home i attempted to throw up out the window, but it ended up all over the outside and inside of the car and all over me. there was puke embedded in the interior and inside where the window rolls down. i had it in my hair, all down me, and on my clothes. when we got home, richie called to heather to help take care of me and make sure i got a shower while he attempted to clean his car up as best he could in the dark. heather said that is the worst she's ever see me look.
i do not remember being upstairs at the ottobar at all, i have a flash of memory of throwing up, and i don't remember taking a shower at all. i do not normally act this way, especially not from drinking only 2 drinks. at first i was pissed at the bartender, thinking he must have made my drinks ridiculously strong. but i know my first one was fine, and richie had at least one or two jack and cokes and was completely fine. the more i thought about it the more i realized there's no possible way i could get like that from the amount i drank. i must have had something slipped into my drink. that's really the only explanation.
i have no idea how i made it to work saturday, and was able to tough it out and work my whole shift. i still feel completely drained of energy and this was 2 days ago. all day saturday i was so upset and confused by this. i felt really bad for throwing up in richie's car and then not being able to help him clean it up (i had to be at work at 9am saturday). he had to take it to the car wash. and missing a band i really wanted to see, and making richie miss it too. the whole night was ruined. i spent hours feeling guilty about it, feeling like i did something stupid and out of control and that this was my fault. and there's really no way of finding out what happened, why this happened, who did it. i just know what i can normally handle, and it was a totally normal amount to drink. it shouldn't have happened. the only logical explanation is that someone put something in my drink. i just don't know what to think anymore. i barely ever go out as it is, should i be afraid to drink at a bar? fuck, this is exactly why i don't go out, i know if i'm at home i know nothing bad will happen. spending a bunch of money not to even have fun sucks. i'm just depressed now. i want to feel like myself again.
there's a color class tomorrow and i'm getting my hair done as part of it. i should really be more excited about that. hopefully i will be tomorrow. and on the plus side i have a really amazing fiance who always looks out for me. and i have an amazing sister too. who hit a deer on the way to west virginia last night btw. sounds worse than it is though, it barely made a dent and she and the car are just fine.
after drinking the second jack and coke, richie could tell i was getting out of hand because i knocked a full beer out of his hand onto the floor. we sat down in the balcony area and i could barely keep my head up. i was complaining about not feeling well, but insisted we stay because i didn't wanna ruin his night. he decided to take me home, because he could tell this wasn't going to be good. we did not get to see one minute of dillinger escape plan. we left right before they went on.
on the car ride home i attempted to throw up out the window, but it ended up all over the outside and inside of the car and all over me. there was puke embedded in the interior and inside where the window rolls down. i had it in my hair, all down me, and on my clothes. when we got home, richie called to heather to help take care of me and make sure i got a shower while he attempted to clean his car up as best he could in the dark. heather said that is the worst she's ever see me look.
i do not remember being upstairs at the ottobar at all, i have a flash of memory of throwing up, and i don't remember taking a shower at all. i do not normally act this way, especially not from drinking only 2 drinks. at first i was pissed at the bartender, thinking he must have made my drinks ridiculously strong. but i know my first one was fine, and richie had at least one or two jack and cokes and was completely fine. the more i thought about it the more i realized there's no possible way i could get like that from the amount i drank. i must have had something slipped into my drink. that's really the only explanation.
i have no idea how i made it to work saturday, and was able to tough it out and work my whole shift. i still feel completely drained of energy and this was 2 days ago. all day saturday i was so upset and confused by this. i felt really bad for throwing up in richie's car and then not being able to help him clean it up (i had to be at work at 9am saturday). he had to take it to the car wash. and missing a band i really wanted to see, and making richie miss it too. the whole night was ruined. i spent hours feeling guilty about it, feeling like i did something stupid and out of control and that this was my fault. and there's really no way of finding out what happened, why this happened, who did it. i just know what i can normally handle, and it was a totally normal amount to drink. it shouldn't have happened. the only logical explanation is that someone put something in my drink. i just don't know what to think anymore. i barely ever go out as it is, should i be afraid to drink at a bar? fuck, this is exactly why i don't go out, i know if i'm at home i know nothing bad will happen. spending a bunch of money not to even have fun sucks. i'm just depressed now. i want to feel like myself again.
there's a color class tomorrow and i'm getting my hair done as part of it. i should really be more excited about that. hopefully i will be tomorrow. and on the plus side i have a really amazing fiance who always looks out for me. and i have an amazing sister too. who hit a deer on the way to west virginia last night btw. sounds worse than it is though, it barely made a dent and she and the car are just fine.