(no subject)
today is kinda dragging at this point. richie is working a double and i'm not used to that. i took a dinner break with him, and now i have nothing left to do. i'm sure i could find stuff to do, but i just don't feel like it. i want him to be home now dammit.
talked to johnny on the phone for a long time today. it's been months since we've spoken on the phone, mainly due to the fact that it cost him money before. but now he's found another method (i don't remember the name of the program) where he can call anyone in the united states and it doesn't cost anything. it's weird though, with skype it used to come up as "unknown" caller, and today it picked a random 443 (a maryland area code) number. we talked about just about everything. we filled each other in on all the details we had been missing before about each other's lives. sounds like we're both at a very happy point now. he has found love, a girl from spain named elena.
from events lately, and from talking to him i have realized some things about myself. i have very few people i really consider to be close friends. acquaintences are abundant, but to find a true friend is rare. i trust very few people, and i've always had a hard time getting real close to anyone. it's an immediate instinct i have about a person. either i have an instant connection with them from day 1 and know immediately that we will be close friends, or they will become a casual acquaintence. it's happened that way with any person who has ever affected my life greatly. also, i realized another thing that i learned from johnny. we met each other at exactly the right time in our lives, on both ends. he taught me how to start over on my way of thinking in relationships, he kept me from repeating my patterns that were always ending the badly. he taught me to be friends first, then once you know more about a person you can tell if you're right for each other relationship-wise. i learned to not let the title of the relationship define what it should be. i learned to let things happen as they should, and when the time is right, if it is going to be right, it will happen naturally. i may not have learned to appreciate my relationship with richie the way i do now if things had happened differently.
when richie and i met, we had that instant connection. we both knew that from the moment we met each other. but at that time, we would not have been right for each other. we were both recovering from long term relationships gone sour. and i know i had the tendency to go right from one relationship to the next, without really taking the time to figure out what i needed and what was lacking. the time that i took to be single was very necessary for me. at the beginning of richie and i's relationship we were constantly tested, and we always made it through, because our bond is that strong. and those tests i think strengthened our bond. we've been through a lot, and we've both matured quite a bit. i can honestly say that there is not anything that i would change about our relationship now. we love and respect each other so much that we would never do anything to hurt each other. all the secrets and negativity are in the past. we've been through the worst and came out on top. now all we have to look forward to is everything getting even better.
there's very few people that will always be there for you, and know you well enough to always know what to say or do to make you feel better when you're down, or say/do something just for the sake of making you happy. that, to me is what defines a true friend, and in richie's case, proves to me that he is 100% right for me. too many people out there have been such a disappointment. when times get tough, they only think about themselves. i have no desire for people like that to be in my life. i have no problem spending the majority of my free time with those few people who i truly love, even if it is very few people.
it's pretty amazing to me that even though he lives in germany, and sometimes months go by without even talking to each other (with the exception of an occasional update email), johnny and i have still remained as close as we are. we still know each other so well that we can help each other out despite the distance. it's always good to talk to someone who knows you so well that they can practically read your thoughts, and has this insight to you that you can barely explain. it's like we helped shape each other into something new, then went our separate ways as better people. our lives are very different now, but i guess we kind of help remind each other of what we used to be, and of all the good times there were.
i'm overall very happy with my life lately. everything with richie has been absolutely perfect. our life together is shaping up very nicely and i can't wait to see what happens next. it makes me sad that many of the people i love live far away now, but i know that if your bond is strong enough, that won't stop anything. and it's still pretty awesome to me that there are people in my life that i've known for 10 years and am still close with. those are the kinds of people i need to be around, because staying in touch with someone for that long doesn't happen by accident.
talked to johnny on the phone for a long time today. it's been months since we've spoken on the phone, mainly due to the fact that it cost him money before. but now he's found another method (i don't remember the name of the program) where he can call anyone in the united states and it doesn't cost anything. it's weird though, with skype it used to come up as "unknown" caller, and today it picked a random 443 (a maryland area code) number. we talked about just about everything. we filled each other in on all the details we had been missing before about each other's lives. sounds like we're both at a very happy point now. he has found love, a girl from spain named elena.
from events lately, and from talking to him i have realized some things about myself. i have very few people i really consider to be close friends. acquaintences are abundant, but to find a true friend is rare. i trust very few people, and i've always had a hard time getting real close to anyone. it's an immediate instinct i have about a person. either i have an instant connection with them from day 1 and know immediately that we will be close friends, or they will become a casual acquaintence. it's happened that way with any person who has ever affected my life greatly. also, i realized another thing that i learned from johnny. we met each other at exactly the right time in our lives, on both ends. he taught me how to start over on my way of thinking in relationships, he kept me from repeating my patterns that were always ending the badly. he taught me to be friends first, then once you know more about a person you can tell if you're right for each other relationship-wise. i learned to not let the title of the relationship define what it should be. i learned to let things happen as they should, and when the time is right, if it is going to be right, it will happen naturally. i may not have learned to appreciate my relationship with richie the way i do now if things had happened differently.
when richie and i met, we had that instant connection. we both knew that from the moment we met each other. but at that time, we would not have been right for each other. we were both recovering from long term relationships gone sour. and i know i had the tendency to go right from one relationship to the next, without really taking the time to figure out what i needed and what was lacking. the time that i took to be single was very necessary for me. at the beginning of richie and i's relationship we were constantly tested, and we always made it through, because our bond is that strong. and those tests i think strengthened our bond. we've been through a lot, and we've both matured quite a bit. i can honestly say that there is not anything that i would change about our relationship now. we love and respect each other so much that we would never do anything to hurt each other. all the secrets and negativity are in the past. we've been through the worst and came out on top. now all we have to look forward to is everything getting even better.
there's very few people that will always be there for you, and know you well enough to always know what to say or do to make you feel better when you're down, or say/do something just for the sake of making you happy. that, to me is what defines a true friend, and in richie's case, proves to me that he is 100% right for me. too many people out there have been such a disappointment. when times get tough, they only think about themselves. i have no desire for people like that to be in my life. i have no problem spending the majority of my free time with those few people who i truly love, even if it is very few people.
it's pretty amazing to me that even though he lives in germany, and sometimes months go by without even talking to each other (with the exception of an occasional update email), johnny and i have still remained as close as we are. we still know each other so well that we can help each other out despite the distance. it's always good to talk to someone who knows you so well that they can practically read your thoughts, and has this insight to you that you can barely explain. it's like we helped shape each other into something new, then went our separate ways as better people. our lives are very different now, but i guess we kind of help remind each other of what we used to be, and of all the good times there were.
i'm overall very happy with my life lately. everything with richie has been absolutely perfect. our life together is shaping up very nicely and i can't wait to see what happens next. it makes me sad that many of the people i love live far away now, but i know that if your bond is strong enough, that won't stop anything. and it's still pretty awesome to me that there are people in my life that i've known for 10 years and am still close with. those are the kinds of people i need to be around, because staying in touch with someone for that long doesn't happen by accident.