Tonight in the world of dreamz
Well I just got told "It cracks me up how there is so much drama." Haha.. Oh yesh.. I know there is too much drama..It kinda seems like I'm stuck.. Stuck missing my friends that fuck with me all the time. Oh well.. I'm insane.. Haha.. I'm not sure.. It doesn't really matter all that much to me anymore. I'm not even sure why I'm writing, or what I'm writing about. Laura and Priscilla have taken over my life. They talk to the people I was once talking to, they take them from me...But I guess if it's that easy for my "friends" to be taken from me.. They weren't really my friends right? Well haha...Thats what a normal person would say. I'm sitting here watching Crazy Beautiful and I just want someone like that.. Why do the movies make life so much better.. And why can't a person be happy with what they have. Why can't I be happy with what I have hmm? I keep wondering should I change for Eric.. Should I loose weight and try harder to be pretty.. Should I try that for him? Should I change myself for this guy that I love but that showed me he didn't love me.. No matter how many times he told me he did.. and towards the end.. how many time he didn't tell me. Why have I been stuck with mind games for the last 6-7 months.. and will I be stuck with them for the rest of my life? Do I need to get something stable in my life again? All the times I took the car to put in applications and ended up running around with Laura and Priscilla.. It's kicked me in the ass in the end. I want a job, I really do..Now I just have to show I want one more. I'm going to try to make more of an effort in my life that actually matters...School, work, and my family.. I don't know.. Myself? Or am I being too selfish..? GAWD! What am I sposta be doing.. How am I sposta be.. Fuck it.. I'm not sure.. I'm so confused..