try to get to you..
this song just will not leave me..
hrm.. well.. went to west palm... my love.. last weekend... and i got to see my gurlie friend... ambuler.. and my twin... caroline... love them both... but besides seeing them.. it sucked my left testicle...
i didnt get to see truck... which was the MAIN person that i wanted to see..(in a dif way than ber nd cari).. well im returning in 2 weeks... the 15th or 16th to be exactly..
and i prolly wont be able to see truck then... =(... cruel world!.. break my liddle emo heart..
kelsea has "shunned me"... for not admitting that im "pretty"... im simply not going to lie darling.. for those of you who have aol... check me and bers pics... =).. on my profile... maybe ill put some in this thingy.. if sumone tells me how.. haha..
me and kelsea asked zach to homecoming... it will be a triple thing.. wink wink...
mm.. me and kaitlin plan to go to baywalk friday night.. i guess its like a cityplace...but not?..idk.. but tyea.. we'll get all dolled up.. and things..
im always depressed when i write in this thing... gah!.. i need coffee... or a cigarette..haha... blah..
this song is making it worse... but i cant seem to shut it off... alright.. i dont think its a secret anyways... but im sick of using code names...
truck=james.. and james=me being heartbroken..
i dont think he realizes that he has me hooked.. soo bad.. but what ever.. im just sum loser 15 year old.. i wonder if he even knows im 15... i never told him otherwise.. but i dont recall telling him my age... but the again he knew my older sister... who is like GORGEOUS and makes me look like a sick little half dead gopher..
hrm.. i miss that chick... shes quite cool.. and always happy.. and quite content with all her friends.. and her boyfriend.. and living in west palm beach... my mom waited for her to graduate before moving.. she didint wanna pul her away from all her friends... ha.. did she care about britt?.. nope..
oh and i found out tiffani will be living with dan soon... which is NOT fair.
the first weeks i had moved i was hysterical.. and always crying.. which i stil do.. and i said something about her ruining my life.. and how i wanted to live with one of my friends.. and how id kill myself or sumthing... just being liddle dramatic me.. so she said.. fine call dan and ask him if you can live with him... so she walked out.. and i was left sitting on my bed.. sobbing... and i thought about it... id just take the lake worth bus to lwhs.. and the gstar bus.. like i used to.. and dan would never be home.. id have guys over al the time.. and it was grand.. so i stopped crying a little bit.. and i walked out to get her cell phone.. and i said gimme your phone.. im calling dan... and she goes.. NO YOU AREnt.. im like..WHAT THE FUCK you JUST said i could!... and shes like.. i didint actually think youd do it.. and shes like... you think dan WANTS you there!?.. and now i hear tiffs gunna be living there.... WTF>... NOT fair..
i just sit here and think about how my life would be if we never moved... how much fun id have... maybe things would be different with me and james.. maybe not.. but then theres that maybe... and what if... and it fucking kills me.. and i kno no one is reading my fucking bullshit right now... but if you are... im sorry.. im sorry you jjust wasted your life on my pathetic one..
and right now.. all i need is a fucking best friend... cuz now im starting to cry... but i dont have one... i wish i did...
i wish to god sumthing would happen... some miracle.. and my mom would be like.. brittani... i talked to ambers mom and she doesnt hate you... she loves you in fact.. and shes asked me if she can be your gardian.. if also talked to mr reno.. and hes asked me to let you came back to gstar... they want you back... oh and james called.. he wants to take you sumwhere...
but no...
none of that happened.... and no
it will never happen... cuz that would be a good thing...
and good thing dont happen to this chick here..
sure... i was blessed with good health... i havent had to witness anything too horrible.. and there havent been deaths... sure GREAT tragedies.. but no deaths... sure im lucky... in some ways... but then again NO ONE is ever satisfied... and i have NO fucking clue why the hell im writing all of this.. im such an emotional mess...
and if one kid on my bus calls me barbie again.. im gunna fucking stable their testicle to the seat...
and if anyone did read this shit.. and actually gives a fuck... thanx
my eyes burn, from these tears, you think youd learn over these years... good things wont, last forever.
hrm.. well.. went to west palm... my love.. last weekend... and i got to see my gurlie friend... ambuler.. and my twin... caroline... love them both... but besides seeing them.. it sucked my left testicle...
i didnt get to see truck... which was the MAIN person that i wanted to see..(in a dif way than ber nd cari).. well im returning in 2 weeks... the 15th or 16th to be exactly..
and i prolly wont be able to see truck then... =(... cruel world!.. break my liddle emo heart..
kelsea has "shunned me"... for not admitting that im "pretty"... im simply not going to lie darling.. for those of you who have aol... check me and bers pics... =).. on my profile... maybe ill put some in this thingy.. if sumone tells me how.. haha..
me and kelsea asked zach to homecoming... it will be a triple thing.. wink wink...
mm.. me and kaitlin plan to go to baywalk friday night.. i guess its like a cityplace...but not?..idk.. but tyea.. we'll get all dolled up.. and things..
im always depressed when i write in this thing... gah!.. i need coffee... or a cigarette..haha... blah..
this song is making it worse... but i cant seem to shut it off... alright.. i dont think its a secret anyways... but im sick of using code names...
truck=james.. and james=me being heartbroken..
i dont think he realizes that he has me hooked.. soo bad.. but what ever.. im just sum loser 15 year old.. i wonder if he even knows im 15... i never told him otherwise.. but i dont recall telling him my age... but the again he knew my older sister... who is like GORGEOUS and makes me look like a sick little half dead gopher..
hrm.. i miss that chick... shes quite cool.. and always happy.. and quite content with all her friends.. and her boyfriend.. and living in west palm beach... my mom waited for her to graduate before moving.. she didint wanna pul her away from all her friends... ha.. did she care about britt?.. nope..
oh and i found out tiffani will be living with dan soon... which is NOT fair.
the first weeks i had moved i was hysterical.. and always crying.. which i stil do.. and i said something about her ruining my life.. and how i wanted to live with one of my friends.. and how id kill myself or sumthing... just being liddle dramatic me.. so she said.. fine call dan and ask him if you can live with him... so she walked out.. and i was left sitting on my bed.. sobbing... and i thought about it... id just take the lake worth bus to lwhs.. and the gstar bus.. like i used to.. and dan would never be home.. id have guys over al the time.. and it was grand.. so i stopped crying a little bit.. and i walked out to get her cell phone.. and i said gimme your phone.. im calling dan... and she goes.. NO YOU AREnt.. im like..WHAT THE FUCK you JUST said i could!... and shes like.. i didint actually think youd do it.. and shes like... you think dan WANTS you there!?.. and now i hear tiffs gunna be living there.... WTF>... NOT fair..
i just sit here and think about how my life would be if we never moved... how much fun id have... maybe things would be different with me and james.. maybe not.. but then theres that maybe... and what if... and it fucking kills me.. and i kno no one is reading my fucking bullshit right now... but if you are... im sorry.. im sorry you jjust wasted your life on my pathetic one..
and right now.. all i need is a fucking best friend... cuz now im starting to cry... but i dont have one... i wish i did...
i wish to god sumthing would happen... some miracle.. and my mom would be like.. brittani... i talked to ambers mom and she doesnt hate you... she loves you in fact.. and shes asked me if she can be your gardian.. if also talked to mr reno.. and hes asked me to let you came back to gstar... they want you back... oh and james called.. he wants to take you sumwhere...
but no...
none of that happened.... and no
it will never happen... cuz that would be a good thing...
and good thing dont happen to this chick here..
sure... i was blessed with good health... i havent had to witness anything too horrible.. and there havent been deaths... sure GREAT tragedies.. but no deaths... sure im lucky... in some ways... but then again NO ONE is ever satisfied... and i have NO fucking clue why the hell im writing all of this.. im such an emotional mess...
and if one kid on my bus calls me barbie again.. im gunna fucking stable their testicle to the seat...
and if anyone did read this shit.. and actually gives a fuck... thanx
my eyes burn, from these tears, you think youd learn over these years... good things wont, last forever.