yet another year
There are a lot of things one can say when its your own birthday. Another year has passed, you've grown a little older and hopefully a little wiser. There's still lots of things looking ahead of you and maybe even resolutions to make for your own future. You ask for presents and gifts or whatever - which, really, is all in your ability to ask for on this day - and you just do something crazy to validate yourself for this special day or something like that. IDK, my own birthdays have mostly been quiet.
For me, though, to be able to be here now and write this post perhaps has a lot more meaning then I can truly comprehend. One year ago right on this day, I almost died. As most of you guys know I was in Thailand around this time last year, and it was during that trip that my appendix burst and pretty much put me in a state of emergency. I had my operation on this very day - the operation that pretty much saved my life. (For those unaware, its pretty much game over for you once your appendix bursts - unless you have it cleaned out in an operation). While the operation itself isn't the big thing, its the little things that led up to me which saved me. From the driver who insisted on sending me to the private hospital instead and the doctor who did the operation anyway even though my mother forgot to take her credit card... seriously, had just one thing gone wrong I don't think I could be here today, writing this post and once again think just how lucky I am to be still alive right now.
One year has passed since that fateful day, and a lot of things have happened - I'm doing well in school for the first time ever, I've found my passion in writing again (even if it is for an admittedly crazy fandom), got close friends and I think, for the first time, I'm truly happy to be who I am. There have been bumps and there are still bumps I am going through, but like on Sunday when my family celebrated my birthday for pretty much the first time ever in my life, I just stop and think how fortunate I am. I'm still alive, and my folks still do care for me in their own way. It's not perfect, but nothing is anyway, and as far as I'm concerned, I am content with what I have now.
This is all a little mushy and everything, I know, but I think I really need to get this out. One year ago I would have not make it today, but yet here I am now accomplished and content and feeling alive for the first time in years, and I think just how worth it everything in my last year has been. I may not know my future - and I have no qualms about wanting to know - but for me right now in the present? I'm pretty damned happy.
For me, though, to be able to be here now and write this post perhaps has a lot more meaning then I can truly comprehend. One year ago right on this day, I almost died. As most of you guys know I was in Thailand around this time last year, and it was during that trip that my appendix burst and pretty much put me in a state of emergency. I had my operation on this very day - the operation that pretty much saved my life. (For those unaware, its pretty much game over for you once your appendix bursts - unless you have it cleaned out in an operation). While the operation itself isn't the big thing, its the little things that led up to me which saved me. From the driver who insisted on sending me to the private hospital instead and the doctor who did the operation anyway even though my mother forgot to take her credit card... seriously, had just one thing gone wrong I don't think I could be here today, writing this post and once again think just how lucky I am to be still alive right now.
One year has passed since that fateful day, and a lot of things have happened - I'm doing well in school for the first time ever, I've found my passion in writing again (even if it is for an admittedly crazy fandom), got close friends and I think, for the first time, I'm truly happy to be who I am. There have been bumps and there are still bumps I am going through, but like on Sunday when my family celebrated my birthday for pretty much the first time ever in my life, I just stop and think how fortunate I am. I'm still alive, and my folks still do care for me in their own way. It's not perfect, but nothing is anyway, and as far as I'm concerned, I am content with what I have now.
This is all a little mushy and everything, I know, but I think I really need to get this out. One year ago I would have not make it today, but yet here I am now accomplished and content and feeling alive for the first time in years, and I think just how worth it everything in my last year has been. I may not know my future - and I have no qualms about wanting to know - but for me right now in the present? I'm pretty damned happy.