Ficlet: "Another Love I Would Abuse," Rin/Alice

Jun 15, 2007 12:30

...I feel really bad. I haven't posted here in almost a year, and all I'm posting today is a really quick Please Save My Earth ficlet. This is pretty much just me getting used to writing the PSME characters... I really want to write more fic for this fandom. It's such an amazing manga. ♥

I'm working on Death Note fic, too, though! Really. >>

Title: Another Love I Would Abuse
Fandom: Please Save My Earth
Pairing: Rin/Alice, Shion/Mokuren
Rating: ...I think I have to call it R because there's this really quick mention of rape, but the rating system is lies and it's really more like PG.
Warnings: AU. Slight spoilers for volume 11/12. And I've only read to volume 13, and I'm borrowing PSME from a friend so I don't even have it with me right now. D: Practically unedited.

Alice wakes up in the middle of the night, shivering, windowshades tapping against the frame of the open window with a sudden burst of wind. She is still half-tangled in the illusion-Shion’s fingers on her (Mokuren’s) thighs, the burning, sandpaper-scratched ache of the kiche on her forehead protesting as he lowers himself on her-and it takes a second for her to realize where she is, that that is the moon instead of the Earth glowing white and full outside her window.

There’s something so alienating, suffocating, about it all, and for an instant she almost wishes that Rin’s body was not pressed warm against her back, that she was completely alone. But that’s silly; he’s Rin, and he needs her more than anyone. Remembering his past life from the moon must have been harder on him than on her-he’s just so young. He’s so young, and everything he does shows that he needs her.

“Let’s live together,” Rin had said, yesterday afternoon, fingers curling around hers (and there had been something so familiar about his touch, something vaguely sinister waiting, brewing), “let’s live together, Alice.” Yesterday afternoon, as they walked home from Rin’s mother’s funeral, the grass beside the sidewalk whispering agitatedly at their clasped hands.

“You’re awake,” he says, now, slowly, raising himself up on his elbows. “I can’t sleep, either. I haven’t slept all night. I’m so tired!”

“Oh, Rin,” Alice says, leaning over to kiss his forehead. She still can’t shake the feeling that something isn’t right; there is a new scar, hidden behind Rin’s bangs-did she bump him, in her sleep? It had been a violent dream. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“It’s just...,” Rin says, averting his gaze, “Alice, do you love me?”

“Of course,” she responds immediately, stroking his hair like a mother and feeling somehow insincere, smothered. She does love him, of course she loves him, but she can’t shake the feeling that maybe, Rin means something else (that maybe, he doesn’t love her at all.) “You shouldn’t let that keep you awake.”

“Well, I think I can get to sleep now,” Rin says, yawning and turning over in bed. “I just keep thinking about Mother. I feel like she loved the me she knew, but not the whole me. Like you don’t love the whole me, either. But that’s silly... night, Alice.”

He settles into the mattress, breathing slowing, but after that dream, Alice can’t sleep. She sits up in bed, watching the moon, until Rin turns over worriedly, asking, “Alice?” with something strangely malicious in his eyes; and she smiles weakly, pulls the covers over herself, and closes her eyes.

The Mokuren in her dreams didn’t love Shion, and Alice doesn’t love Rin, not really. But when she is confronted by them both every night, Alice doesn’t know how to let them go.

Maybe, when she falls asleep, she won’t dream of the moon-then, Alice thinks, everything will make sense again.

rin/alice, shion/mokuren, please save my earth

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