(no subject)
This is long. No, really.
So i am at day 6 out of 9 of the France trip! Have a picture story:
Ferry left Portsmouth at 11pm. We had sleeper seats. This is false advertising... they are far too uncomfortable to sleep on ¬_¬
We then drove for SIX HOURS to our destination, a tiny little hamlet near to the bigger town of Poitiers. I caught up on sleep most of the way. We stopped at a services which had what we thought was a kids playground outside, turned out to be an outdoor gym!
The house comes complete with 6 chickens, 3 cats and 2 dogs, which we have to look after. The chickens lay eggs, the first day i found one so fresh it was still warm XD One of the dogs is pregnant.. she gets bigger everyday, its a bit nervewracking O_o
We had to clean alot... it doesn't seem the French way to be bothered with housework ^^;;
The place is thick with cobwebs O_o
There's lots of land and a trampoline in the back garden, and swings made of rope and tied onto trees!
The house's only source of heating!!
A rather impressive seafood risotto we produced on the first night! Since then it's just been bread and cheese lol XD
We went to a Chateau in a place called Blois (pronounced Blah, hehe)
It had gargoyles. I like gargoyles.
Joan of Arc went there to ask permission to fight the English.. or something.
Surprise Buttsecks.
We saw another Chateau..
... and a seriously overweight sheepdog...
Yesterday we went to La Rochelle, a pretty harbour town with lots of history. That spire is a Medievil lighthouse!
We went to the Aquarium there, it was beautiful..
.. and sometimes ugly...
.. saw sharks...
.. and nemos...
.. and these funny wigglers that pop in and out of the ground XD
Then we went to an island called Ile de Re, to a lighthouse that was built in 1845.
I ran over halfway up the stairs! XD
From the top you could see a beach..
.. and this wall that ran out to the sea and back again. You can walk all the way around it, but it was late when we were there so we didn't have time.
I was listening to my ipod on the way home so wasn't paying attention, but i think we got lost on the way back cause we turned around alot and didnt get home til 10.30pm lol XD
Other things about France is that it's very expensive, we've only bought food from supermarkets and ive spent £50 in less than a week T_T
The time patterns are strange too... everything closes between 12 and 2 for lunch, some places dont bother opening at all until 2pm, then they'll stay open until 7pm.
Today Matt and LeeAnn have gone out twice to flea markets and antique fairs, but i hit my head on the ceiling beams upstairs and felt too sick to go out... T_T
Probably shouldn't be staring at a pc monitor with concussion either ^^;;
Last night was the first time i slept well so far on this trip, because i have been dreaming so vividly every night that i'm still so tired in the morning T_T
The content of the dreams have been unsettling too.
The first night i dreamt that Spy wanted to get back together and did so by proposing to me ;_;
Naturally, my dream-self said yes and was utterly thrilled about the entire affair. When i woke i was shaky and tearful and spent the rest of the day very disorientated. That's actually the first time since November that i've dreamt about him/us/everything turning out like that.
The second night i dreamt that Bek-E and I couldn't live harmoniously in our new home and that we were fighting all the time. This was just as upsetting as the first dream. I think i ended up moving out.
The third night was the worst. I was watching some kind of theatre/carnival act of people dressed as animals. There was someone in a fursuit of a blue tiger. He took off his mask and my dream-self decided she found him attractive and very boldly began playing for his attention. I remember a dream conversation where i asked how old he was and he said fourteen O_O Though he looked nineteen at least. And my dream-brain went Whoops, this'll end up as rape, better get out of here! Lol wtf? Spending too much time with a certain underage-loving individual i think haha XD
But i remember feeling strange things in this dream.. i was clearly of interest to this boy, when he looked at me his eyes would brighten with interest and curiosity. He WANTED to be near me, there was something alluring about me that he couldn't resist. I'd forgotten how that felt, until then.
So i woke up from that feeling desperately like i needed to clean and purify myself, and feeling really quite sickened that i'd been dream-flirting with a non-existant dream-boy.
I think i'm going to end up with some long-term issues about this sort of stuff T_T Perhaps i should just join a convent now.
Night four was myself and Spy catching a flight to Hong Kong. We were going to the airport seperately but i didnt make the flight in time. I remember being upset that he didn't even ring me to see why i wasn't at the airport. I ran to the ticket counter and ran past someone who seemed vaguely familier, and realised it was an ex-boyfriend returning from a trip to Japan. He tried to talk to me and i was surprised at how easily i could just ignore him, as i desperately scanned the displays for the next available flight. I successfully got my ticket transferred to another flight, and the dream ended there.
I'm sort of seeing a theme of abandonment and self-worth issues in these, but it doesnt take a genius to figure that much out about me anyway ^^;;
Nonetheless, they've left me feeling quite fragile and caused me to be thinking about things i'd managed to block out for quite some time. I have been fluctuating between crying rather too frequently and losing hours of time as i fantasize about seriously injuring particular people.
I guess out here i don't have my usual distractions so things have been flooding back a bit.
I have had to accept the fact that if i want a massage job in London, i'm going to have to be self-employed still. I really wanted employed work for a while so i could have a guaranteed income, but i figure that an establishment wouldn't bother advertising for therapists of any kind, self-employed or not, if it wasn't because they have the demand for it. The positions that have come up have been in really good clinics too, so i think i'll just take the chance. The money making potential is huge when you're self employed, but it can take a while to build up a regular income. I have also applied to a few places that send you around bars and also corporate events doing a specific head neck and shoulder massage in evenings and weekends. You can fit it around other employment and its cash in hand which is always useful ^^;;
I really need something to fall into place soon. I have also needed to apply for quite a few more credit cards as both my overdraft on my current account and my credit card are almost maxed out! I also realised that my car tax needed renewing BEFORE i went to Australia, so there's another £100 i need to materialize from somewhere. I hope i don't get fined T_T
Le sigh.... sometimes i feel a bit sick thinking about these things. Life feels really quite hard at the moment.
So i am at day 6 out of 9 of the France trip! Have a picture story:
Ferry left Portsmouth at 11pm. We had sleeper seats. This is false advertising... they are far too uncomfortable to sleep on ¬_¬
We then drove for SIX HOURS to our destination, a tiny little hamlet near to the bigger town of Poitiers. I caught up on sleep most of the way. We stopped at a services which had what we thought was a kids playground outside, turned out to be an outdoor gym!
The house comes complete with 6 chickens, 3 cats and 2 dogs, which we have to look after. The chickens lay eggs, the first day i found one so fresh it was still warm XD One of the dogs is pregnant.. she gets bigger everyday, its a bit nervewracking O_o
We had to clean alot... it doesn't seem the French way to be bothered with housework ^^;;
The place is thick with cobwebs O_o
There's lots of land and a trampoline in the back garden, and swings made of rope and tied onto trees!
The house's only source of heating!!
A rather impressive seafood risotto we produced on the first night! Since then it's just been bread and cheese lol XD
We went to a Chateau in a place called Blois (pronounced Blah, hehe)
It had gargoyles. I like gargoyles.
Joan of Arc went there to ask permission to fight the English.. or something.
Surprise Buttsecks.
We saw another Chateau..
... and a seriously overweight sheepdog...
Yesterday we went to La Rochelle, a pretty harbour town with lots of history. That spire is a Medievil lighthouse!
We went to the Aquarium there, it was beautiful..
.. and sometimes ugly...
.. saw sharks...
.. and nemos...
.. and these funny wigglers that pop in and out of the ground XD
Then we went to an island called Ile de Re, to a lighthouse that was built in 1845.
I ran over halfway up the stairs! XD
From the top you could see a beach..
.. and this wall that ran out to the sea and back again. You can walk all the way around it, but it was late when we were there so we didn't have time.
I was listening to my ipod on the way home so wasn't paying attention, but i think we got lost on the way back cause we turned around alot and didnt get home til 10.30pm lol XD
Other things about France is that it's very expensive, we've only bought food from supermarkets and ive spent £50 in less than a week T_T
The time patterns are strange too... everything closes between 12 and 2 for lunch, some places dont bother opening at all until 2pm, then they'll stay open until 7pm.
Today Matt and LeeAnn have gone out twice to flea markets and antique fairs, but i hit my head on the ceiling beams upstairs and felt too sick to go out... T_T
Probably shouldn't be staring at a pc monitor with concussion either ^^;;
Last night was the first time i slept well so far on this trip, because i have been dreaming so vividly every night that i'm still so tired in the morning T_T
The content of the dreams have been unsettling too.
The first night i dreamt that Spy wanted to get back together and did so by proposing to me ;_;
Naturally, my dream-self said yes and was utterly thrilled about the entire affair. When i woke i was shaky and tearful and spent the rest of the day very disorientated. That's actually the first time since November that i've dreamt about him/us/everything turning out like that.
The second night i dreamt that Bek-E and I couldn't live harmoniously in our new home and that we were fighting all the time. This was just as upsetting as the first dream. I think i ended up moving out.
The third night was the worst. I was watching some kind of theatre/carnival act of people dressed as animals. There was someone in a fursuit of a blue tiger. He took off his mask and my dream-self decided she found him attractive and very boldly began playing for his attention. I remember a dream conversation where i asked how old he was and he said fourteen O_O Though he looked nineteen at least. And my dream-brain went Whoops, this'll end up as rape, better get out of here! Lol wtf? Spending too much time with a certain underage-loving individual i think haha XD
But i remember feeling strange things in this dream.. i was clearly of interest to this boy, when he looked at me his eyes would brighten with interest and curiosity. He WANTED to be near me, there was something alluring about me that he couldn't resist. I'd forgotten how that felt, until then.
So i woke up from that feeling desperately like i needed to clean and purify myself, and feeling really quite sickened that i'd been dream-flirting with a non-existant dream-boy.
I think i'm going to end up with some long-term issues about this sort of stuff T_T Perhaps i should just join a convent now.
Night four was myself and Spy catching a flight to Hong Kong. We were going to the airport seperately but i didnt make the flight in time. I remember being upset that he didn't even ring me to see why i wasn't at the airport. I ran to the ticket counter and ran past someone who seemed vaguely familier, and realised it was an ex-boyfriend returning from a trip to Japan. He tried to talk to me and i was surprised at how easily i could just ignore him, as i desperately scanned the displays for the next available flight. I successfully got my ticket transferred to another flight, and the dream ended there.
I'm sort of seeing a theme of abandonment and self-worth issues in these, but it doesnt take a genius to figure that much out about me anyway ^^;;
Nonetheless, they've left me feeling quite fragile and caused me to be thinking about things i'd managed to block out for quite some time. I have been fluctuating between crying rather too frequently and losing hours of time as i fantasize about seriously injuring particular people.
I guess out here i don't have my usual distractions so things have been flooding back a bit.
I have had to accept the fact that if i want a massage job in London, i'm going to have to be self-employed still. I really wanted employed work for a while so i could have a guaranteed income, but i figure that an establishment wouldn't bother advertising for therapists of any kind, self-employed or not, if it wasn't because they have the demand for it. The positions that have come up have been in really good clinics too, so i think i'll just take the chance. The money making potential is huge when you're self employed, but it can take a while to build up a regular income. I have also applied to a few places that send you around bars and also corporate events doing a specific head neck and shoulder massage in evenings and weekends. You can fit it around other employment and its cash in hand which is always useful ^^;;
I really need something to fall into place soon. I have also needed to apply for quite a few more credit cards as both my overdraft on my current account and my credit card are almost maxed out! I also realised that my car tax needed renewing BEFORE i went to Australia, so there's another £100 i need to materialize from somewhere. I hope i don't get fined T_T
Le sigh.... sometimes i feel a bit sick thinking about these things. Life feels really quite hard at the moment.