(no subject)
Ooohh... these have not been good days.. -_-;;
Wednesday i was so so sooooo down i don't think i smiled all day. The evening i cried for what felt like such a long time, though was probably only about half an hour and then i fell asleep on simon's pillow and missed half of Terry Pratchett's programme on Alzheimers that i wanted to watch.. >_<;;
Thursday i got up at 7am to wait for washing machine.. it came to 11am which was the end of my delivery slot so i rang them to hear "Oh.. none of our drivers left the depot today, didn't you get a phone call?" NO I DID NOT.
My sister had invited my mum and i for dinner but i had to tell her i couldn't go. There is no way i am going to voluntarily put myself in the same place as my mother right now. I want to shout and scream at her every day. It's better for us both if i stay away from her as much as possible.
We finally got our snow though, which was nice, for me at least since it doesn't affect my work ^^;;
Today was an improvement, washing machine turned up at 7.15am. I went back to bed as my sleep has been so patchy lately and i felt exhausted. Woke up at 11am (oops) to find that mum had been told she wouldn't be able to get to work cause of snow, which means i am stuck with her tonight which is why i am sat in my treatment room using the internet instead of being at home.
Went on a drive out with Matt into the Forest of Dean and saw loads of pretty snow!! So we went and had a pub lunch with LeeAnn and then all three of us went back out to take photos. I've never seen snow like it.. i felt like i was in The Lion, The With and the Wardobe XD
I got a bit overexcited and started running around in circles... which of course resulted in me falling over and getting snow in my boots T_T
Matt threw a snowball at me and it hit me in the face... seriously do i only exist for amusement factor..?! O_o
We settled down to watch a movie in the afternoon, chose Bicentennial Man. Halfway through a scene started which triggered a massive memory attack out of the blue O_o
There's a scene where Andrew plays a video of Little Miss's wedding, and she and the groom are dancing together. I played this movie for Simon during our first six months together. At this scene he turned to look at me with an extremely smug looking smile on his face. After much prompting he finally said "Just made me wonder how you would look in a wedding dress". At that point i hadn't dreamt of suggesting such major future plans, and i remember feeling so over the moon. I chose not to mention it much again after that, apart from the occasional shared joke about what type of engagement ring i would like (though strangely Simon had more ideas about it that me, he always liked the style with three stones set in a row, representing the past, present and future, or yesterday, today and tomorrow.. or something like that). I was worried that if i got too excited about things like that it would scare him off. When i finally did try to talk about it again, it was middle of last year, and look what happened. Guess i should have kept my mouth shut after all -_-;;
The saddest thing is he probably has no recollection of saying that at all, seeing as my fish have a better memory than him ^^;;
So when i saw that i couldn't hold it in and slipped off to cry for a while, and am now feeling thoroughly miserable after what was turning out to be a lovely day. Still, Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is on now which will amuse me. Even that has memmories... when it was airing last year it was one of our favourite shows to watch... cuddled under the duvet in my freezing old house with the fire going... meh.
Wednesday i was so so sooooo down i don't think i smiled all day. The evening i cried for what felt like such a long time, though was probably only about half an hour and then i fell asleep on simon's pillow and missed half of Terry Pratchett's programme on Alzheimers that i wanted to watch.. >_<;;
Thursday i got up at 7am to wait for washing machine.. it came to 11am which was the end of my delivery slot so i rang them to hear "Oh.. none of our drivers left the depot today, didn't you get a phone call?" NO I DID NOT.
My sister had invited my mum and i for dinner but i had to tell her i couldn't go. There is no way i am going to voluntarily put myself in the same place as my mother right now. I want to shout and scream at her every day. It's better for us both if i stay away from her as much as possible.
We finally got our snow though, which was nice, for me at least since it doesn't affect my work ^^;;
Today was an improvement, washing machine turned up at 7.15am. I went back to bed as my sleep has been so patchy lately and i felt exhausted. Woke up at 11am (oops) to find that mum had been told she wouldn't be able to get to work cause of snow, which means i am stuck with her tonight which is why i am sat in my treatment room using the internet instead of being at home.
Went on a drive out with Matt into the Forest of Dean and saw loads of pretty snow!! So we went and had a pub lunch with LeeAnn and then all three of us went back out to take photos. I've never seen snow like it.. i felt like i was in The Lion, The With and the Wardobe XD
I got a bit overexcited and started running around in circles... which of course resulted in me falling over and getting snow in my boots T_T
Matt threw a snowball at me and it hit me in the face... seriously do i only exist for amusement factor..?! O_o
We settled down to watch a movie in the afternoon, chose Bicentennial Man. Halfway through a scene started which triggered a massive memory attack out of the blue O_o
There's a scene where Andrew plays a video of Little Miss's wedding, and she and the groom are dancing together. I played this movie for Simon during our first six months together. At this scene he turned to look at me with an extremely smug looking smile on his face. After much prompting he finally said "Just made me wonder how you would look in a wedding dress". At that point i hadn't dreamt of suggesting such major future plans, and i remember feeling so over the moon. I chose not to mention it much again after that, apart from the occasional shared joke about what type of engagement ring i would like (though strangely Simon had more ideas about it that me, he always liked the style with three stones set in a row, representing the past, present and future, or yesterday, today and tomorrow.. or something like that). I was worried that if i got too excited about things like that it would scare him off. When i finally did try to talk about it again, it was middle of last year, and look what happened. Guess i should have kept my mouth shut after all -_-;;
The saddest thing is he probably has no recollection of saying that at all, seeing as my fish have a better memory than him ^^;;
So when i saw that i couldn't hold it in and slipped off to cry for a while, and am now feeling thoroughly miserable after what was turning out to be a lovely day. Still, Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is on now which will amuse me. Even that has memmories... when it was airing last year it was one of our favourite shows to watch... cuddled under the duvet in my freezing old house with the fire going... meh.