hmmm
Maybe I've lost all self-interest in myself, which will explain why I am so disappointed when everything around me falls apart. I suppose it's ok. I just wish I knew what the fuck I am doing! Really, so much goes on around me and my life still feels dead. It's all so unbeneficial and nothing I ever want. I understand, you don't always attain your desires, but how does one, achieve the satisfaction of knowing one effortlessly, or effortfully, recieved something extravagant? Others get this everyday (even in the smallest way), but I could just cry with my "situation".