What happens in Vegas never really stays in Vegas.

[taser_warrior]

After a few more seriously awkward phone calls, promised explanations, finding pants and checking out of the hotel lobby she was in a car driving to the airport with Tony. She hadn't honestly expected to actually escape for awhile but considering how bat shit the press was apparently going back in New York over the world's most eligible bachelor

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[nottheworsthing]

When it came to being harassed by the paparazzi, Tony was a man of wide and varied experience. But even he had been taken aback by the media circus which had literally sprung up overnight around their unexpected marriage. Apparently getting hitched was a bigger story than being Iron Man. What the hell, America? Really? His phone went off, the opening notes of Sweet Child o' Mine filling the car. He spared it a brief glance before electing to ignore it; the caller gave up before the drums came in.

"So," he said. "Pick a country, any country. Paris is nice but it's kind of a cliche. Greece is nice this time of year. Shame about the riots though." In the background his phone rang again: Queen's Hammer to Fall this time, indicating that someone had finally shown Thor how to use the cell phone SHIELD had given him. Tony stared warily at it for a few lines before very carefully picking it up and turning it off.

[taser_warrior]

Staring at his phone as if it was going to bite her, she relaxed when it eventually went to voice mail, but you could practically just see her level of freakout escalate the slightest bit at his ringtone, the thought of that song immediately making her think of the big guy. God she was going to have a lot of explaining to do, and a fuck ton of 'You still love me right?' cookies to bake. Nodding at his exclamation about Greece, Darcy leaned her forehead on the window, watching the scenery pass as she mulled over a few options.

"Spain? I'd say we could go to Hawaii but I think we'd be found there pretty fast. Generally just somewhere with a beach would be nice."

[nottheworsthing]

"Spain works," Tony replied, and grinned, "We could have that weekend in Barcelona in a hotel with a bottle of chocolate sauce I've heard so much about." Four dozen phonecalls a minute aside, it was weird how...not-different being married was. Even if the word itself still freaked him out a bit, the reality of it actually wasn't too bad. The teasing and flirting and banter hadn't changed. If they weren't fleeing the country to escape the wrath of various concerned and/or murderous friends and relatives it would be just like any other morning after.

[taser_warrior]

Glancing away from the buildings and ridiculous atmosphere that Vegas seemed to automatically present to outsiders, Darcy smiles back at him. "Sounds magical, maybe we can even try out one of those clubs I hear so much about."

She was surprised how, minus her freakouts and the threat of death by their loved ones, easy this was. She'd always had this sort of stigma attached to marriage and life in general because of her mother, but this just felt normal.
Darcy didn't expect it to feel that way all the time, but for right now it felt right, because minus the ring on her finger and the 'wedding' pictures on their phones this was still Tony.

[nottheworsthing]

Now there was a plan. "Ibiza maybe," he mused. The club scene was legendary, after all, and hopefully the spanish press would be less interested in who some american billionaire accidentally married. Fleeing the country- sorry, uh, 'having a honeymoon' was definitely a good idea.

Tony drummed his fingers on the armrest. "So how long do you give it before it's safe to come out of hiding?" he asked idly. He could deal with the press; he could even deal with the paperwork and Pepper's unending exasperation, though neither was going to be fun. But when it came to overprotective Asgardian adoptive older brothers, he did have some level of genuine concern for his physical wellbeing.

[taser_warrior]

"You're the master planner here, I've only seen pictures from when my cousins went there for a summer." She had turns slightly to face him, her elbow resting next to his fingers, and a genuinely curious look on her face.

"A week maybe? I don't want to make Thor or anybody wait too long, he's really into the whole marriage and 'Midgardian nuptials' thing. But a week would give Jane enough time to calm down I hope." While the press worried her on a small level, it was mostly her surrogate family that she was thinking of. She could handle her mother (who had called over four times, and been sent to voice mail before they left the hotel), her step-father and even her sister. But she worried about the Avengers, Jane, and Erik.
"Promise to be there when I talk to Jane and Erik?"

[nottheworsthing]

"Yeah, I am kinda worried hiding's just gonna make things worse," Tony replied, scratching absently at his facial hair. "Don't want the big guy tracking us down and crashing that chocolate sauce weekend. That'd just be awkward." And even more likely than the simple fact of the marriage to get Tony killed and/or severely beaten. He winced at her request. "Do I have to?"

[taser_warrior]

"Same here, but if we tell Thor it was to 'bond' or something he may really forgive us. We can tell the others we needed to figure shit out. Pretend we are sensible adults." When he asked about if he had too Darcy just poked him in the side, and nodded. "Yes. I can't do it totally alone, but you can wait until mid conversation to saunter in so Erik doesn't kill you with his bare hands or some weird scientist weapon of mass destruction okay? "

[nottheworsthing]

"Good call." He nodded his approval. Way to evade the wrath of Thor, Darcy. Tony was impressed by your skills. He considered the modified proposal. "I guess I can do that," he conceded, "I can totally take Selvig anyway if it comes to it. Engineers beat scientists hands down."

[taser_warrior]

Hey, there ad to be some reason he 'married' her. Raising an eyebrow at him Darcy wrapped a hand around his arm and squeezed experimentally. "Maybe, but you forget he talked down Thor, and outdid Loki by putting in a fail safe. I think my big angry surrogate dad here might have hidden depths." She was teasing him, aware that if it ever did come to blows, unlikely as it may be, it would end really damn fast. Whether by her, Thor, or Tony.

[nottheworsthing]

"I guess." He made a show of thinking the issue over. "...you're up for being a human shield, right?"

[taser_warrior]

"Only if we aren't talking to Steve. You get to deal with that face." She did not have the heart to deal with more disappointed or confused Steve, she just didn't. It was Tony's turn, and if need really be she would step in and talk to everyone's Golden Boy.

"We really are awful at doing things like normal people aren't we?"

[nottheworsthing]

"Oh god," he groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face. "...just never talking to Steve again isn't an option, right? We're sure that's not an option?" He was joking. Mostly. He shook his head and speculatively wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe one day we should try doing things like normal people and see how it goes."

[taser_warrior]

"No it isn't an option. You have to keep chatting with Steve." It was ridiculous really. One day they were innocently dancing around each other, and the next they were doing it in an underground bunker during a hurricane, yet they were still wary of touching each other. Taking a moment to rest on him, and still a little unsure when she did, Darcy looked up and shrugged.
"Maybe. I think our best chance at normal is a reception of some kind when we get home, help everyone get used to it while we are."

[nottheworsthing]

"This is still really weird," he commented. "I mean, not even bad weird. But weird."

[taser_warrior]

"You're telling me. I'm half expecting this to be some really weird ass dream because I spent too much time with you and watched bad rom-coms the night before." Pinching she herself as if it would help Darcy sighs and relaxes against him, staring at the ring likes it is going to answer her.