CANCUN!
CAAAAAAANNNNNNNCUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
That's rigth bitchez, read it and weep. But now really because most everyone has alreay gone to Cancun or Mexico or on cruise. I've only been to Canada... whoopee. Anyways I'm sooooooo EXCITED!! My old time best friend, Sarah, is a flight attendant and get to fly for free and so will I. We're going at the end of this month. It's going to be such a blast for me. Plus I haven't seen Sarah in like a year and a half. I'm doing my happy dance, happy daaaaaaaannnnccce!! All I have to do now is wire my mouth shut and run to work everyday so I can loose like 20 pounds to have a halfway decent beach body... wish me luck.
In other boring news, my back is peeling like a freakin onion and it looks like I have some onionpeal skin disease. Oh well. My gramps told me I can't park in the driveway anymore because my car leaks oil. Jesus fucking Christ! I think that's so rediculous, that fucking pissed me off so bad. So now I have to park in the street when it's just me at my house, no other cars in the driveway. Fucking bullshit, man. OH! Last Monday I got my hair done by this girl I work with, Katie, and she did a really good job. I love it! Hopefully the men-folk will too.
So after a year of NOT having a BOYFRIEND, I am now single. Funny how that's works, right? Doesn't make sence does it? I was "with" Mitch exclusively for a year and I enjoyed it for the most part but I now broke up with him. I spent all my free time with him, and I catered to all of his needs, I did a lot for him like driving to Eastern twice a week and I quit drinking and after all that he can't ask me to be his girlfriend or to make our relationship official or even tell me to my face that he cares for me. AT LEAST all i ask for is something like, "Ya know, I do care about you and our relationship...." But NOOOOOO. Instead he says, "Actions speak louder than words so I shouldn't have to tell you I care." and "Look at what I've done for you!" and "I'm not going to sit here and confess my looooove to you and ask you to marry me tomorrow." Puh-lease. I've paid for just as much stuff as he has and I've surprised him with gifts from a $1 cup of hot chocolate to a $100 comic book figurine, and I've driven across all of the metrepolitan area to be with him, all the while I tell him that I care for him and our relationship and that I think he's wonderful and that I'm so thankful I met him and all that shit. But he can't do the same in return. Obviously he has some commitment issues and doesn't want a relationship. It's okay to be scared of relatioship. But where it's NOT okay is when someone else is getting hurt. That someone is getting hurt because they're being dragged along and keep waiting for the other person to finally come around and meet them in the middle. See, I was ready for a real relationship and I wanted him to ask me out as his girlfriend and then introduce me, "This is my girlfriend, Tara" and I would do the same for him. But I guess he's not ready to do that so that means we both want different things and you can't have a relationship if we both want two different things. Therefore I stopped it now because I would only end up hurting myself in the end, even worse than now. I reluctantly broke up with him because I'm not going to put up with putting my life, my feeling, my emotions, and WHO I AM, on hold to wait around for him to figure out what he wants.
So after a year of doing things for someone else and getting to know who Mitch was, I think it's time I finally enjoyed ME. I seem to allow myself to revolve my life around a guy and I don't want to do that anymore. I want to get to know myself and do things for me and let myself have fun. Now is the age to do it. It's going to take a lot of time to get over Mitch because he is the first guy that I ever really loved but I never told him that but I guess he'll know now because he reads my journal. Anyways I don't want to be in a relationship for a long time because I'm not ready and I would always be comparing a new guy to Mitch and he would be on my mind all the time. It's really hard to be strong and stick to my guns with my decision. But I want to change for the better so I'll keep that in mind too.
I want to start loving life. And that's that.
That's rigth bitchez, read it and weep. But now really because most everyone has alreay gone to Cancun or Mexico or on cruise. I've only been to Canada... whoopee. Anyways I'm sooooooo EXCITED!! My old time best friend, Sarah, is a flight attendant and get to fly for free and so will I. We're going at the end of this month. It's going to be such a blast for me. Plus I haven't seen Sarah in like a year and a half. I'm doing my happy dance, happy daaaaaaaannnnccce!! All I have to do now is wire my mouth shut and run to work everyday so I can loose like 20 pounds to have a halfway decent beach body... wish me luck.
In other boring news, my back is peeling like a freakin onion and it looks like I have some onionpeal skin disease. Oh well. My gramps told me I can't park in the driveway anymore because my car leaks oil. Jesus fucking Christ! I think that's so rediculous, that fucking pissed me off so bad. So now I have to park in the street when it's just me at my house, no other cars in the driveway. Fucking bullshit, man. OH! Last Monday I got my hair done by this girl I work with, Katie, and she did a really good job. I love it! Hopefully the men-folk will too.
So after a year of NOT having a BOYFRIEND, I am now single. Funny how that's works, right? Doesn't make sence does it? I was "with" Mitch exclusively for a year and I enjoyed it for the most part but I now broke up with him. I spent all my free time with him, and I catered to all of his needs, I did a lot for him like driving to Eastern twice a week and I quit drinking and after all that he can't ask me to be his girlfriend or to make our relationship official or even tell me to my face that he cares for me. AT LEAST all i ask for is something like, "Ya know, I do care about you and our relationship...." But NOOOOOO. Instead he says, "Actions speak louder than words so I shouldn't have to tell you I care." and "Look at what I've done for you!" and "I'm not going to sit here and confess my looooove to you and ask you to marry me tomorrow." Puh-lease. I've paid for just as much stuff as he has and I've surprised him with gifts from a $1 cup of hot chocolate to a $100 comic book figurine, and I've driven across all of the metrepolitan area to be with him, all the while I tell him that I care for him and our relationship and that I think he's wonderful and that I'm so thankful I met him and all that shit. But he can't do the same in return. Obviously he has some commitment issues and doesn't want a relationship. It's okay to be scared of relatioship. But where it's NOT okay is when someone else is getting hurt. That someone is getting hurt because they're being dragged along and keep waiting for the other person to finally come around and meet them in the middle. See, I was ready for a real relationship and I wanted him to ask me out as his girlfriend and then introduce me, "This is my girlfriend, Tara" and I would do the same for him. But I guess he's not ready to do that so that means we both want different things and you can't have a relationship if we both want two different things. Therefore I stopped it now because I would only end up hurting myself in the end, even worse than now. I reluctantly broke up with him because I'm not going to put up with putting my life, my feeling, my emotions, and WHO I AM, on hold to wait around for him to figure out what he wants.
So after a year of doing things for someone else and getting to know who Mitch was, I think it's time I finally enjoyed ME. I seem to allow myself to revolve my life around a guy and I don't want to do that anymore. I want to get to know myself and do things for me and let myself have fun. Now is the age to do it. It's going to take a lot of time to get over Mitch because he is the first guy that I ever really loved but I never told him that but I guess he'll know now because he reads my journal. Anyways I don't want to be in a relationship for a long time because I'm not ready and I would always be comparing a new guy to Mitch and he would be on my mind all the time. It's really hard to be strong and stick to my guns with my decision. But I want to change for the better so I'll keep that in mind too.
I want to start loving life. And that's that.