Recluse
I hate that this site is called live JOURNAL. Every journal (only the one) that I’ve ever had I’ve only written in a few times. I literally started my journal in the 6th grade, 8 years ago, and have continued to write in it, on average maybe once a year. Anytime something in my life gets royally screwed up I decide to write it down….all those fond memories. Either way, I came on here and noticed I seem to only have written in this online journal….once. Well, my life has been royally screwed and I can’t find my 8 year old journal, so I decided I might as well use this journal for something other then reading snarry.
Journal journal journal, ok, well…
I’m 19 and living in New York City (with my father). Why am I not in college already? I’ve been out of school for at least two years already, and was so looking forward to going to college this fall…that was before my father pulled out on me with the parent loan. Man, it was so last minute that there was nothing I could do. Now I hand out flyers on the corner.
Lets put on top of that…I broken heart. I remember the fist guy I was in love with, the relationship lasted a year and then he broke my heart, at the age of 16, and since then I’ve debated with myself as to whether or not it was wise to be in love at 15. Well no I feel as though it did prepare me for it to happen again.
Same situation really, lasted one year, and then he decided that he just does not want to be in a relationship. ‘I’m sorry, but I just want to be alone, and I don’t want to HAVE to see you’
Well, what do I say to that….can we at least have conjugal visits, so I don’t have to travel to New Jersey for it? No? Oh, you only want to sleep with the random people you meet online that you couldn’t care less about……well then. Fine.
At least he cares about me….right? I could just spew cynical laughter about this all day. And now I remember what it feels like to be so sad I could do the most rash things. It’s times like these that make me think I must be crazy.
Journal journal journal, ok, well…
I’m 19 and living in New York City (with my father). Why am I not in college already? I’ve been out of school for at least two years already, and was so looking forward to going to college this fall…that was before my father pulled out on me with the parent loan. Man, it was so last minute that there was nothing I could do. Now I hand out flyers on the corner.
Lets put on top of that…I broken heart. I remember the fist guy I was in love with, the relationship lasted a year and then he broke my heart, at the age of 16, and since then I’ve debated with myself as to whether or not it was wise to be in love at 15. Well no I feel as though it did prepare me for it to happen again.
Same situation really, lasted one year, and then he decided that he just does not want to be in a relationship. ‘I’m sorry, but I just want to be alone, and I don’t want to HAVE to see you’
Well, what do I say to that….can we at least have conjugal visits, so I don’t have to travel to New Jersey for it? No? Oh, you only want to sleep with the random people you meet online that you couldn’t care less about……well then. Fine.
At least he cares about me….right? I could just spew cynical laughter about this all day. And now I remember what it feels like to be so sad I could do the most rash things. It’s times like these that make me think I must be crazy.