I swear I don't want to turn into one of *those* girls
Who only talks about how ~~*wonderful*~~ and ~~*sparkly**~~ their S.O/husband/boyfriend/whatever is, because honestly, I cringe whenever I see that sort of thing pop up on my f-list.
Okay, so, I had a date last Friday. Which is... a rather big deal for me. Why? Because I've not had a proper date in a very, very, very long time. My date was with a guy I've known for a while now. Actually he was one of those "I'm gonna fix you two up because I think you'd make a good couple" (You all know what that's like, right? No pressure to hit it off with a complete stranger or anything. Nope. No pressure at all.) by a mutual friend back in late 1999. And yeah, we hit it off well enough back then. Except that neither one of us was ready for a relationship. At all. I was still getting over an emotionally and financially draining divorce and he was dealing with a bad breakup of his own and depression (the latter of which I did not know about until much later).
Rebound city, in other words. No chance whatsoever of it working out. Doomed from the start.
We went out a couple of times over the course of two months. Saw each other only sporadically after and then we went our separate ways. Soon after, he got married, became an instant father to two kids and all the baggage that comes with being a stepdad. I hooked up with a guy and entered into something that was more of a relationship of convenience than anything else. No "I love you's" or anything of the sort for almost four years because we didn't love each other. (I shit you not!)
Fast forward to April 2008. He's newly divorced, dealing with the very sudden death of his mother, and I'm single, at loose ends and pretty tired of it but living 800 or so miles away from him.
Open for a relationship at my end but a complete no-go for him. Again, the timing sucked mightily.
So we play this weird game of random calling every so often. It picked up at Christmas, but soon fizzled. Me being in Maine and him being in Pennsylvania... well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out it wasn't going to work.
And then I decide to come back to Maryland (totally not because of him) and about a month before I moved I sent him a random "Hey, guess what?" text message and tossed the ball into his court, thinking it was another lost cause. He replied back and seemed fairly neutral about the whole thing. I took it as such and thought no more about it, simply chalking it up as something that would never happen.
And then a few days before the big move I get a text from him asking if I was still moving and if I needed help unloading the truck (I didn't, but I thought it was a nice gesture all the same). Nothing more from him until the Saturday night I'm on the road with my new roommate, three cats and all our shit bound for Maryland. (While all this is going on I'm texting like a mofo with nightfalltwen and a couple other people and trying not to jump to conclusions like he might actually want to get together or anything. My luck is never that good, folks. Seriously.)
So when I get into my new townhouse, the texting picks up. Then we start chatting on the phone. Then he agrees to drive down from PA for said "date" (more like pub crawling all day in Fells Point but whatever) with a "suggestion" from my end that he's free to stay over. Plenty of room! And who wants to make that lousy old hour and a half drive home if you're toasted from said drinking? (Moi? Capable of the occasional Slytherin tactic? I plead the fifth)
He doesn't leave until early Sunday afternoon.
And when he pulls away the first thing out of my roommate's mouth? Oooooooh. Barb's got a boyfriend!
Which made me feel like I was back in high school or something. LOL.
Since then he's been extremely attentive which totally blows me away. Not since my college years has any man shown so much interest. Random texts that should make me want to barf from the sweetness makes me smile like a goofball. Same with his phone calls. I totally look forward to both each and every day. If I don't talk to him on the phone, he's texting me goodnight.
It's weird and totally unnatural for me. More so because he was NEVER like this during our brief period of dating. He says the meds he's on now (we actually exchanged war stories about our similar problems with anxiety, depression, OCD and the like) make him feel more like himself and less like the Paxil zombie he was back in 1999/2000.
I'm hopeful this will pan out, but I'm cautious all the same. He's gun shy - we both are to a degree and... well....
Only time will tell.
And he just sent a goodnight text saying he missed me.
Okay, so, I had a date last Friday. Which is... a rather big deal for me. Why? Because I've not had a proper date in a very, very, very long time. My date was with a guy I've known for a while now. Actually he was one of those "I'm gonna fix you two up because I think you'd make a good couple" (You all know what that's like, right? No pressure to hit it off with a complete stranger or anything. Nope. No pressure at all.) by a mutual friend back in late 1999. And yeah, we hit it off well enough back then. Except that neither one of us was ready for a relationship. At all. I was still getting over an emotionally and financially draining divorce and he was dealing with a bad breakup of his own and depression (the latter of which I did not know about until much later).
Rebound city, in other words. No chance whatsoever of it working out. Doomed from the start.
We went out a couple of times over the course of two months. Saw each other only sporadically after and then we went our separate ways. Soon after, he got married, became an instant father to two kids and all the baggage that comes with being a stepdad. I hooked up with a guy and entered into something that was more of a relationship of convenience than anything else. No "I love you's" or anything of the sort for almost four years because we didn't love each other. (I shit you not!)
Fast forward to April 2008. He's newly divorced, dealing with the very sudden death of his mother, and I'm single, at loose ends and pretty tired of it but living 800 or so miles away from him.
Open for a relationship at my end but a complete no-go for him. Again, the timing sucked mightily.
So we play this weird game of random calling every so often. It picked up at Christmas, but soon fizzled. Me being in Maine and him being in Pennsylvania... well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out it wasn't going to work.
And then I decide to come back to Maryland (totally not because of him) and about a month before I moved I sent him a random "Hey, guess what?" text message and tossed the ball into his court, thinking it was another lost cause. He replied back and seemed fairly neutral about the whole thing. I took it as such and thought no more about it, simply chalking it up as something that would never happen.
And then a few days before the big move I get a text from him asking if I was still moving and if I needed help unloading the truck (I didn't, but I thought it was a nice gesture all the same). Nothing more from him until the Saturday night I'm on the road with my new roommate, three cats and all our shit bound for Maryland. (While all this is going on I'm texting like a mofo with nightfalltwen and a couple other people and trying not to jump to conclusions like he might actually want to get together or anything. My luck is never that good, folks. Seriously.)
So when I get into my new townhouse, the texting picks up. Then we start chatting on the phone. Then he agrees to drive down from PA for said "date" (more like pub crawling all day in Fells Point but whatever) with a "suggestion" from my end that he's free to stay over. Plenty of room! And who wants to make that lousy old hour and a half drive home if you're toasted from said drinking? (Moi? Capable of the occasional Slytherin tactic? I plead the fifth)
He doesn't leave until early Sunday afternoon.
And when he pulls away the first thing out of my roommate's mouth? Oooooooh. Barb's got a boyfriend!
Which made me feel like I was back in high school or something. LOL.
Since then he's been extremely attentive which totally blows me away. Not since my college years has any man shown so much interest. Random texts that should make me want to barf from the sweetness makes me smile like a goofball. Same with his phone calls. I totally look forward to both each and every day. If I don't talk to him on the phone, he's texting me goodnight.
It's weird and totally unnatural for me. More so because he was NEVER like this during our brief period of dating. He says the meds he's on now (we actually exchanged war stories about our similar problems with anxiety, depression, OCD and the like) make him feel more like himself and less like the Paxil zombie he was back in 1999/2000.
I'm hopeful this will pan out, but I'm cautious all the same. He's gun shy - we both are to a degree and... well....
Only time will tell.
And he just sent a goodnight text saying he missed me.