oh and..
...Jason did plan on cheating on me last year, but didnt follow through. Yet I don't plan shit and cheat on him. How does that make me different?? Oh right. because I'm a person of action. I never threatened him with cheating or anything, it just happened. If people don't understand that, that's their own problem. He couldn't follow through with anything. Good or bad. he promised to end the relationship by cheating on me (he said this when we first moved in together). He said he would love me forever, but kept snorting pills. He yelled at me for smoking up yet when we tried to get back together for a week, that's all he did with me! He said I was useless yet the most beautiful creature. Damn did he take me for a rollercoaster ride. But I'm not mad. It's just who he is. Maybe had I listened to Stephanie at the time I could have seen through his tricks. I thought I knew what love was. Love doesn't threaten to disregard you if you don't follow it's orders. Love doesn't force you into committments you're not ready for. Love doesn't make you feel worse than you already do for your actions. And love won't allow to stray. I'm tired of judgement and guilt and throw them both into the sea.
Shit happened. We're fucked.
However, If only people would see the other side of the story. Oh wel. It's in the past, and I'm sure he's happier now, as I am. It's just a shame we had to end this way.
Truly, though. If anything is learned from this experience... I TRULY TRULY just want him to find his happiness and peace and learn to let go of the past, holding on foregoes the future. And if he really did change, than the next woman benefits from my suffering. I will never wish harm upon anyone, nor will I let myself be controlled like I did in my last relationship.
Now I have to go or else I'll be late for my test. Not sure if anyone is going to read this, seeing as how we all went to myspace, lol. But 2006 is about honesty. I'm not hiding anything anymore. No more pretending I'm Miss Perfect or pretending I feel certain ways about situations.
Cioa.
Shit happened. We're fucked.
However, If only people would see the other side of the story. Oh wel. It's in the past, and I'm sure he's happier now, as I am. It's just a shame we had to end this way.
Truly, though. If anything is learned from this experience... I TRULY TRULY just want him to find his happiness and peace and learn to let go of the past, holding on foregoes the future. And if he really did change, than the next woman benefits from my suffering. I will never wish harm upon anyone, nor will I let myself be controlled like I did in my last relationship.
Now I have to go or else I'll be late for my test. Not sure if anyone is going to read this, seeing as how we all went to myspace, lol. But 2006 is about honesty. I'm not hiding anything anymore. No more pretending I'm Miss Perfect or pretending I feel certain ways about situations.
Cioa.