before bed.
I've been keeping myself busy, not like its hard or anything since
I never have time for myself anymore to just sit down, breathe, and
scratch my ass. You know..I never thought i'de let myself get wrapped
up in another person after i was hurt by Chris so badly, and im so
dissapointed in myself, but this was completely different. I am almost
20 years old and I really thought something would have came out of this
relationship. I gave my 100%, i put every ounce of heart and effort
I possibly could and it still wasn't enough and it just makes me feel
as if I always fail. I just wanted this so bad, and once again, it was
taken away from me and I had no control over it.
I think this time, i am going to take a stand and honestly not settle
for relationships or feelings towards another person anymore. Why for?
So this shit can happen ALL THE TIME? This is the worst feeling ever.
I hate losing, i hate putting in worthless effort and feelings.
I do want to thank him, making me feel so disgusted that i lost 15lbs
and i can go on decent shopping spree's. Some kind of positive.
Oh..and im moving back to California.Its definite..we leave Feb/March.
I never have time for myself anymore to just sit down, breathe, and
scratch my ass. You know..I never thought i'de let myself get wrapped
up in another person after i was hurt by Chris so badly, and im so
dissapointed in myself, but this was completely different. I am almost
20 years old and I really thought something would have came out of this
relationship. I gave my 100%, i put every ounce of heart and effort
I possibly could and it still wasn't enough and it just makes me feel
as if I always fail. I just wanted this so bad, and once again, it was
taken away from me and I had no control over it.
I think this time, i am going to take a stand and honestly not settle
for relationships or feelings towards another person anymore. Why for?
So this shit can happen ALL THE TIME? This is the worst feeling ever.
I hate losing, i hate putting in worthless effort and feelings.
I do want to thank him, making me feel so disgusted that i lost 15lbs
and i can go on decent shopping spree's. Some kind of positive.
Oh..and im moving back to California.Its definite..we leave Feb/March.