Random Things #103: Common courtesy? Or not
I recently encountered something in the RP world. I was talking with a random person on Plurk; they seemed interested in the fact that I'm considering picking up Train Heartnet of Black Cat as a muse. Soon after, they friended me on Plurk, and I thought nothing of it--just someone who shares a common interest with me, wanting to talk more. So I went to friend them back.
But before I could, they pinged me on AIM. And as I was using Meebo at the time, their IM went through without the service asking me if I want to accept it.
Now, to clarify... I do not post my contact info anywhere, or at least I thought I hadn't. I hadn't told this person my AIM name. Upon my asking her how she got it, she said she'd gone into one of my character journals and pulled it off one of the apps I had posted there. I had not intended that to be a contact info post; in fact, I had intended to delete that part of the app, and I did soon after. But the simple fact that she had looked up my character in this game, gone into said character's journals, and looked through them on the off chance I might have contact info somewhere in there...
Personally, I find this rather creepy, disturbing, and stalker-ish. But she seemed nice enough, so I tried to ignore the feelings in favor of talking with her about this particular game.
However, last night one of the mods at a game I play at was approached in much the same manner. Someone had seen her around LJRP, gone into her character journal, and pulled the info off a game app that was never intended to be a contact post. The mod in question had, just like I had, intended to remove this info, and had simply forgotten about it, being both a mod and busy with RL as well.
But the real issue of this situation? Is that the mod Plurked about it. And several people, including myself, weighed in, saying how they also found it creepy, and that was all fine and dandy. But then other people turned up. People who said things like 'There's nothing wrong with people IMing out of the blue!' and 'RP is a collaborative thing' and 'What, do you not want people to talk to you?' ...and basically making me feel like I was being attacked for my very reasonable, imo, attitude.
I'm not saying people can't talk to me. But there are so many ways to do that--all of my journals are able to accept PMs, I have many superfluous journal posts, such as an HMD, IC voicemail, and others that they could easily have commented to. Heck, they could have waited the two seconds it took me to friend them back on Plurk--I was going to, since I did recognize their Plurk name. Furthermore, I don't protest if game-mates contact me this way, since game-contact info is there for a reason. But this person I had talked to for maybe two seconds chose to go in, find my info in a way I was not expecting, and AIM me without even asking.
I ask you, f-list. Is this normal? Am I being unreasonable and bitchy? Or do I have every right to be upset that someone did this?
Because I am upset. So upset that I am now considering changing my AIM name, which is sad because I've had that one forever and all my RL friends know it. But this series of events has made it difficult for me to keep using it--especially since the person who contacted me is on invisibly most of the time, so I'll never know if she's there or not.
EDIT: Since posting this, I have blocked the person on AIM and defriended them from my Plurk. This is, perhaps, a hasty way to deal.... but I was honestly so upset at the time I wasn't thinking all that clearly. I just wanted some space to feel comfortable again.
But before I could, they pinged me on AIM. And as I was using Meebo at the time, their IM went through without the service asking me if I want to accept it.
Now, to clarify... I do not post my contact info anywhere, or at least I thought I hadn't. I hadn't told this person my AIM name. Upon my asking her how she got it, she said she'd gone into one of my character journals and pulled it off one of the apps I had posted there. I had not intended that to be a contact info post; in fact, I had intended to delete that part of the app, and I did soon after. But the simple fact that she had looked up my character in this game, gone into said character's journals, and looked through them on the off chance I might have contact info somewhere in there...
Personally, I find this rather creepy, disturbing, and stalker-ish. But she seemed nice enough, so I tried to ignore the feelings in favor of talking with her about this particular game.
However, last night one of the mods at a game I play at was approached in much the same manner. Someone had seen her around LJRP, gone into her character journal, and pulled the info off a game app that was never intended to be a contact post. The mod in question had, just like I had, intended to remove this info, and had simply forgotten about it, being both a mod and busy with RL as well.
But the real issue of this situation? Is that the mod Plurked about it. And several people, including myself, weighed in, saying how they also found it creepy, and that was all fine and dandy. But then other people turned up. People who said things like 'There's nothing wrong with people IMing out of the blue!' and 'RP is a collaborative thing' and 'What, do you not want people to talk to you?' ...and basically making me feel like I was being attacked for my very reasonable, imo, attitude.
I'm not saying people can't talk to me. But there are so many ways to do that--all of my journals are able to accept PMs, I have many superfluous journal posts, such as an HMD, IC voicemail, and others that they could easily have commented to. Heck, they could have waited the two seconds it took me to friend them back on Plurk--I was going to, since I did recognize their Plurk name. Furthermore, I don't protest if game-mates contact me this way, since game-contact info is there for a reason. But this person I had talked to for maybe two seconds chose to go in, find my info in a way I was not expecting, and AIM me without even asking.
I ask you, f-list. Is this normal? Am I being unreasonable and bitchy? Or do I have every right to be upset that someone did this?
Because I am upset. So upset that I am now considering changing my AIM name, which is sad because I've had that one forever and all my RL friends know it. But this series of events has made it difficult for me to keep using it--especially since the person who contacted me is on invisibly most of the time, so I'll never know if she's there or not.
EDIT: Since posting this, I have blocked the person on AIM and defriended them from my Plurk. This is, perhaps, a hasty way to deal.... but I was honestly so upset at the time I wasn't thinking all that clearly. I just wanted some space to feel comfortable again.