A little Grinchy III

[tarkeyin_queen]

So Adam's sister had her baby.

I have very mixed feelings about the whole thing.

I am happy that the baby is healthy and all went pretty smooth for delivery. I am trying hard not to take out my feelings I have about the parents on the child.

I think Adam's sister, lets call her Milly. Milly got divorced last fall after roughly ending her marriage

Comments

[anonymous]

I'm not a big fan of getting married just because of an accidental pregnancy; I think the most important thing you can show a child is a healthy marriage, and "Well, I guess we better for the sake of the child" isn't healthy. Sperm meeting egg only means biological compatibility, not personal, mental, or spiritual compatibility. Does it mean they should never get married? No. But they need to evaluate their relationship separately from parenthood.

That being said, Milly sounds like trash. I've got no sympathy for cheaters, especially ones who have affairs. One night stand? I'm not saying it's not fucked up, but that's the kind of thing that a couple can work through. Actively having an ongoing extramarital affair, lying, sneaking around? Nuh-uh. And the father still being married? Ugh. Reminds me of The Gambit's father. (The Chef at least dumped him upon finding out that, whoops, he wasn't divorced, he was merely separated. A douchebag on so many levels.)

I can show a touch of sympathy for Adam's parents -- it's next to impossible not to be excited about a grandchild. That's just basic wiring. But the hypocrisy is inexcusable. Hopefully they're realize it and lighten up on the ultra-Catholicness.

Also, my profound sympathies to Adam on the subject of Josh and church. I went through a similar spiritual crisis way back when after a family member's death. He'll come out on the other side of it, and it will hurt less in time. It'll probably take years, and there's no guarantee how he'll feel about religion or spirituality afterwards, but one way or another it will get better.

[tarkeyin_queen]

Like I said I know accidents happen and things that are unplanned is not always a bad thing. In the Chef's case, he was married. That reason is a major reason on why not to marry someone because of a child. There are others.

In Milly's case she planned all of this out. That is really not cool. Recently I figured out that all her friends were having a babies to and given her personality. This baby idea came from just wanting one because everyone else she knows has one. Before this time she denied ever wanting a child, ever. The baby was the neatest thing to have. In my eyes, that is not a mature reason to have one, given all the other stuff going on as well.

On the matter of marriage, I am speaking from my heritage and upbringing. I think the institution of marriage is a great thing and should be encouraged when possible. If you have two people (doesn't matter what they are as long as they satify the "is a part of the human species" requirement) that want to honor the "death do us part," then go for it. Also feel that kids and marriage should go hand in hand. I know that is not the case for everyone, but that is my upbringing. I also can understand special circumstances. I feel that marriage encourages stability, the want to property ownership and the building of wealth. All positive things for a society and something everyone should be able to do.

The Chef's case is an very special case where she has people in her life to support her and Gambit. My parents got together and it was super rocky for a part of but they were committed to the spirit of marriage and took their promise very seriously. Not everyone has Chef's kind of support that would help a child grow to be a productive person.

I find Milly is making a joke of it all. They went through the motions of being engaged before being pregnant, but you can't engage someone who isn't divorced yet. It was a travesty. It hurt even more that she chose to do this shortly after Adam proposed to me then sneared at Adam and I instead of congratulating. Adam got upset at this and I hate to see Adam so hurt. I makes me want to punch in the face make her apologize to Adam.

I know violence is not the answer. I just really don't like it when someone is mean to any of my favorite people.

In all I will be happy for the baby. I will support Jane as an aunt. I will never congratulate Milly on a job well done on getting pregnant or them as parents. I feel people with loose morals will have a hard time conveying morality to their kids. I also hope that karma does not bite Milly in the but and her child becomes a nightmare because it was born out of selfishness of I want a little person then a maternal selfless.

It just annoys me that there are people in your situation that are good and should be parents and would be awesome parents and there are Millies who, on a whim, get a kid just because. This goes back to my point about karma though. We will see.

[tarkeyin_queen]

yup. They were trying to get pregnant. They actually had a miscarriage and then the second time they were successful.