Have YOU found Jesus today?
Spring is coming. Which means the return of fanatical Christian weirdos in force!
We'll start with Sunday, at lunch. A group of my friends and I go over to "The Marketplace" (i.e. the dining hall across campus) for lunch. So I'm standing in line for a quesadilla, and this girl who lives in my dorm (and did last year too) comes up behind me. We say hi, and she asks, "You live in my dorm, don't you?" Um, yes. Okay. Normal right? Sure. But then she asks, "Did you just get back from church?" Ummmmm, no. I don't go to church. At all. Ever. So I'm standing there thinking, "Why do you assume I go to church at all? I'm not wearing nice clothes and you've never seen me at any sort of church function - since I wouldn't have been there. Isn't that a bit...odd?" I answered the question while skirting the main consequences of saying, "I don't go to church" by saying instead that, "No, I was up til 2 AM last night." I let her assume that I was just "skipping church this once", because I really didn't want to start my day fielding offers of this church or that Bible study.
Then today, I got one of those mysterious letters in my mailbox. The kind that come in a standard envelope, hand-addressed and with a return address but no name in the return address. I open it. Sure enough, Jehovah's Witnesses asking, "Do you want to know more about the Bible?!11?!1!!!?//?1!?" No. No, I do not want to know more about the Bible, and where is the check box stating "please do not send me anymore of this crap"?
Okay, so the last story only deals with fanatical Christian weirdos in a vague way. Tonight, I went to a diversity panel put on by Based On Life Theatre. One of the panelists was a conservative, another was a white supremacist. They're actually actors, but pretty convincing. So of course, gay marriage comes up. A guy in the audience says, "You're not born gay, you choose to be gay."
Me: *knowing from experience that a lot of people are hypocrites* "Well, weren't you born straight?"
Guy: "I chose to be straight."
Me: "Oh, so you tried both and decided straight was better?"
Whole bunch of other people: "Oooohhhhhh..."
Burned.
*smirk*
Mood:
Inordinately pleased with myself
We'll start with Sunday, at lunch. A group of my friends and I go over to "The Marketplace" (i.e. the dining hall across campus) for lunch. So I'm standing in line for a quesadilla, and this girl who lives in my dorm (and did last year too) comes up behind me. We say hi, and she asks, "You live in my dorm, don't you?" Um, yes. Okay. Normal right? Sure. But then she asks, "Did you just get back from church?" Ummmmm, no. I don't go to church. At all. Ever. So I'm standing there thinking, "Why do you assume I go to church at all? I'm not wearing nice clothes and you've never seen me at any sort of church function - since I wouldn't have been there. Isn't that a bit...odd?" I answered the question while skirting the main consequences of saying, "I don't go to church" by saying instead that, "No, I was up til 2 AM last night." I let her assume that I was just "skipping church this once", because I really didn't want to start my day fielding offers of this church or that Bible study.
Then today, I got one of those mysterious letters in my mailbox. The kind that come in a standard envelope, hand-addressed and with a return address but no name in the return address. I open it. Sure enough, Jehovah's Witnesses asking, "Do you want to know more about the Bible?!11?!1!!!?//?1!?" No. No, I do not want to know more about the Bible, and where is the check box stating "please do not send me anymore of this crap"?
Okay, so the last story only deals with fanatical Christian weirdos in a vague way. Tonight, I went to a diversity panel put on by Based On Life Theatre. One of the panelists was a conservative, another was a white supremacist. They're actually actors, but pretty convincing. So of course, gay marriage comes up. A guy in the audience says, "You're not born gay, you choose to be gay."
Me: *knowing from experience that a lot of people are hypocrites* "Well, weren't you born straight?"
Guy: "I chose to be straight."
Me: "Oh, so you tried both and decided straight was better?"
Whole bunch of other people: "Oooohhhhhh..."
Burned.
*smirk*
Mood:
Inordinately pleased with myself