Over.....
I am done with you
I have to be
You are out for good
Do you know how long I would stay up crying because of you
You are nothing to me or this world
You are scum
You are weak
You are worthless
You are sick
How many kids have you hurt?
Your dick should be cut in pieces for every child that you hurt
Seem harsh?
That isn't even the rest of it....
That is letting you off too easy
You are dead.....or at least you should be
You don't deserve to walk around with a smile on your face
You don't deserve anything.....not even hell
I wonder how you can look at your self in the mirror?
Do you say...."Wow! I have accomplished so much in my life!"
Fuck off.....cuz you didn't
You haven't accomplished or achieved shit mother fucker
I also wonder how you can look at your dirty hands
It is all your fault......NOT MINE!!!!!!!
You were the one who took away three years of my life
You were the one who violated me
You were the one who used me
You were the one who took my dignity and pride
You were the one who took away my life
NOT ANYMORE FUCKER!!!
You are out my life for good!!!!
I can be free now
Free of all the worries
Free from being scared
Free from being scared that another person would hurt me
Free from all the blaming I would do to myself
Free from you
That is the best part
I can now live my life without you in my head
I hate you
I wish you were dead
I mean that
Well....as you can see....I broke down again. This time it was at work with Jon. He was going through everyones livejournal and when he got to mine I asked him to read it when I wasn't around. He scrolled down and told me that he already read it....I broke. I didn't mean to. He has his own problems to deal with. Although I do highly appreciate the fact that he was there. He put my thoughts into words.....I have had so many thoughts that I couldn't find words for, and he found them.....most of the words above are what he told me. He is right. He is not worth my time or energy. Instead of contacting him, I am thinking about giving this to him (I would give it to his mother who is my cleaning lady). I would get some major closure from it....even if he denies it or doesn't write back.
Here is what I would write:
Michael,
I am sure that you know what this is about. Below is a little something that I wrote. I couldn't put all my thoughts together so I wrote them in a poem. Please respond to this letter in an email.....tarinfinn@yahoo.com. If you deny that anything ever happened, then you are a coward and you can't face what you did. I just need to know 3 things: Why did yo do it? How many kids have you done it to? Did you do it to Franchesca (Spelling)? Don't say your sorry. You are not. I just want to know the answers to those 3 questions. I can now move on with my life. You won't win anymore, I promise you that.
(poem will go here)
What do you think? Should I give it to him?
I have to be
You are out for good
Do you know how long I would stay up crying because of you
You are nothing to me or this world
You are scum
You are weak
You are worthless
You are sick
How many kids have you hurt?
Your dick should be cut in pieces for every child that you hurt
Seem harsh?
That isn't even the rest of it....
That is letting you off too easy
You are dead.....or at least you should be
You don't deserve to walk around with a smile on your face
You don't deserve anything.....not even hell
I wonder how you can look at your self in the mirror?
Do you say...."Wow! I have accomplished so much in my life!"
Fuck off.....cuz you didn't
You haven't accomplished or achieved shit mother fucker
I also wonder how you can look at your dirty hands
It is all your fault......NOT MINE!!!!!!!
You were the one who took away three years of my life
You were the one who violated me
You were the one who used me
You were the one who took my dignity and pride
You were the one who took away my life
NOT ANYMORE FUCKER!!!
You are out my life for good!!!!
I can be free now
Free of all the worries
Free from being scared
Free from being scared that another person would hurt me
Free from all the blaming I would do to myself
Free from you
That is the best part
I can now live my life without you in my head
I hate you
I wish you were dead
I mean that
Well....as you can see....I broke down again. This time it was at work with Jon. He was going through everyones livejournal and when he got to mine I asked him to read it when I wasn't around. He scrolled down and told me that he already read it....I broke. I didn't mean to. He has his own problems to deal with. Although I do highly appreciate the fact that he was there. He put my thoughts into words.....I have had so many thoughts that I couldn't find words for, and he found them.....most of the words above are what he told me. He is right. He is not worth my time or energy. Instead of contacting him, I am thinking about giving this to him (I would give it to his mother who is my cleaning lady). I would get some major closure from it....even if he denies it or doesn't write back.
Here is what I would write:
Michael,
I am sure that you know what this is about. Below is a little something that I wrote. I couldn't put all my thoughts together so I wrote them in a poem. Please respond to this letter in an email.....tarinfinn@yahoo.com. If you deny that anything ever happened, then you are a coward and you can't face what you did. I just need to know 3 things: Why did yo do it? How many kids have you done it to? Did you do it to Franchesca (Spelling)? Don't say your sorry. You are not. I just want to know the answers to those 3 questions. I can now move on with my life. You won't win anymore, I promise you that.
(poem will go here)
What do you think? Should I give it to him?