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Tara's Worst Christmas Songs
-Santa Baby: who the hell thinks about Santa sexually? Maybe someone who never learned how to express affection to males in a non-sexual way. I feel bad for this person. It's not their fault.
-the song about meeting an old lover in the grocery store: this is really just a normal song that happens to take place during Christmas. Also, we don't need to hear the story of your life.
-I want a hippopotamus for christmas: I hope it sits on you, your voice is obnoxious.
-anything by the Trans-Siberian orchestra. Christmas songs are not badass. Put down the electric guitar.
-Band-aid- Do they know it's Christmas?: way to be totally Euro- and Western centric. Maybe they don't celebrate Christmas in the freakin jungle. But no, let's act like we care about the poor Africans for about a month, but for the rest of the year, they're on their own.
-My Favorite Things: I don't have a problem with the song per se, but since when is it a Christmas song?
-Pachelbel canon with some Christmasy words: Pachelbel is bad enough to begin with (most generic classical piece ever), add some fake kids voices (probably adults just singing high and off key) and that's a sure unfavorite.
-Baby it's cold outside: they're singing the same song but they're not even listening to each other. I think that's called "collective monologues," we learned about it in psych (usually toddlers talk like this). He's like trying to convince her to let him rape her, and she just sounds scared. No means no.
-Faith hill- where are you christmas: For about 3 minutes of the song she laments about how Christmas sucks and its not fun anymore, but she changes her mind real fast for the last minute of the song. Did it suddenly just become meaningful again, in like a second?
Sorry I guess that's what I get for listening to Christmas music all day at work...
-Santa Baby: who the hell thinks about Santa sexually? Maybe someone who never learned how to express affection to males in a non-sexual way. I feel bad for this person. It's not their fault.
-the song about meeting an old lover in the grocery store: this is really just a normal song that happens to take place during Christmas. Also, we don't need to hear the story of your life.
-I want a hippopotamus for christmas: I hope it sits on you, your voice is obnoxious.
-anything by the Trans-Siberian orchestra. Christmas songs are not badass. Put down the electric guitar.
-Band-aid- Do they know it's Christmas?: way to be totally Euro- and Western centric. Maybe they don't celebrate Christmas in the freakin jungle. But no, let's act like we care about the poor Africans for about a month, but for the rest of the year, they're on their own.
-My Favorite Things: I don't have a problem with the song per se, but since when is it a Christmas song?
-Pachelbel canon with some Christmasy words: Pachelbel is bad enough to begin with (most generic classical piece ever), add some fake kids voices (probably adults just singing high and off key) and that's a sure unfavorite.
-Baby it's cold outside: they're singing the same song but they're not even listening to each other. I think that's called "collective monologues," we learned about it in psych (usually toddlers talk like this). He's like trying to convince her to let him rape her, and she just sounds scared. No means no.
-Faith hill- where are you christmas: For about 3 minutes of the song she laments about how Christmas sucks and its not fun anymore, but she changes her mind real fast for the last minute of the song. Did it suddenly just become meaningful again, in like a second?
Sorry I guess that's what I get for listening to Christmas music all day at work...