Oscars 2010
I haven't watched a full ceremony since 2003, when my beloved Return of the King was up for eleven noms. (Which it all deservedly won, I might add.) So I may be a little bit out of practice at this.
In an attempt to be somewhat organized, as I'm writing this down in the very process of watching it, I will employ the very trusty numerical points system.
1. Pre-show red carpet:
Missed most of it, and anyway most of my thoughts run along the lines of "SQUEE PRETTY DRESSES!"
2. Host Intro:
Meh. I don't know who this singer is but he's not very interesting and his musical introduction of the hosts is a bit boring and lackluster.
3. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin:
Well now... this night is looking up already. At the very least, I can say that the hosts are entertaining. Steve and Alec bounce of each other really well and have great onstage chemistry.
...they might actually be kind of hilarious.
...
Okay, they're definitely hilarious. George Clooney's utterly blank stone face and Steve and Alec just stand there awkwardly a minute not cracking any jokes and then they just go, "...moving on!"
4. Penelope Cruz's dress:
Holy cow, that's gorgeous.
5. Animated Feature Film!:
Princess and the Frog... Princess and the Frog... come on... okay, Up is good too. Of course that means that Up probably won't win Best Picture now and for that I grieve most extensively. (Up and The Blind Side are the two movies I'm pulling for. I will scream in frustration if Avatar get the Oscar. I'm not even kidding. James Cameron's ego needs no more boosting. And Avatar wasn't that spectacular anyway.)
6. Best Original Song:
Wait what? We don't even get to hear the songs being performed at this venture? FAIL! Come on, that would've made the night heaps more interesting. Broken up the monotony of hosts introducing presenters introducing nominees and such.
Aww at least Miley and Amanda's dresses look pretty.
Princess and the Frog... Princess and the Frog... come on... dammit Academy! You snub me once again! We had two great Disney songs up there. Either one would have been acceptable. But nope! You pick the song from the movie I've never heard of again.
Well, at least it's kinda pretty.
7. Best Original Screenplay:
Aside from Up, there's no one I really care about in this one. I'm mostly too busy LOL-ing at the banter between Robert Downy Jr. and... dang I forgot her name... anyway, they have a cute conversation about the differences between what writers and actors look for in a script.
It is quite lolarious.
8. John Hughs Tribute:
That reminds me, I need to rent 16 Candles sometime...
9. Samuel L. Jackson presents the consideration for Up:
*clapclapyay*
Please let this mean that Up still has a chance to snag the Best Picture Oscar. Pretty please?
No I'm not still bitterly resentful of the Animation Age Ghetto, why do you ask?
10. Best Animated Short Film:
Steve and Alec continue to be hilarious. A couple lulz are also had for Zoey and Carey and their "most difficult entrance of the evening". I would hate to walk down those steps in a dress and heels like that too hons.
Lol, the Lady and the Reaper clip was funny too.
WALLACE AND GROMITT!
And it goes to Logorama. "No logos were harmed in the making of this film."
...why has this section been the most entertaining so far?
11. Best Make-Up:
And I'm starting to get bored agaiiiii-holy cow Ben Stiller is dressed up as a Na'vi?
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
TEE HEE HEE HEE!
*too busy lol-ing to form a coherent sentence*
NO I'M SORRY I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO HAVE ANY OTHER REACTION OTHER THAN ENDLESS LAUGHTER. MY HEAVENS THIS IS COMEDY GOLD!
"This seemed like a better idea back in rehearsal."
LOLOLOLOL!
12. A Serious Man consideration clip:
Yep, looks like the typical Oscar-bait boring drama that I've never heard of before it somehow caught the attention of whoever the heck is in charge of these things.
13. Adapted Screenplay:
Jeez, could Rachel McAdams and Jake Gyllenhaal sound any more bored?
Aww... Precious won. Cute.
Wow, I think I'm going to officially name this the Most Emotional Acceptance Speech of the evening.
LOL STEVE. "I wrote that speech for him." PERFECT COMEDIC TIMING!
14. Lifetime Achievement Highlights:
LAUREN BACALL!
*FANGIRLS MASSIVELY*
15. Best Supporting Acress:
Can it be Penelope Cruz? Please? I kinda want another opportunity to look at her gorgeous dress again.
Oooh, Anna is cute too!
And it goes to Mo'Nique from Precious. This is a good night for African American ladies.
16. An Education consideration clip:
Ho hum, typical obscure boring Oscar-bait drama Best Picture nominee.
17. WTH?
I'm sorry, we interrupt your normally scheduled Oscar reactions to boggle at a cervical cancer PSA that disguised itself as a perfume commercial. No, it doesn't help that they lampshade the fact that it was skeevy to trick you like that in the commercial itself.
Starts all nice and pretty, a girl in a nice red dress follows a bunch of sparkles up the stairs and I'm like, probably a perfume commercial, and at the top of the stairs there's the bottle and all of a sudden, CERVICAL CANCER.
And I'm like... "Wow... that was an unglamorous way to end that."
18. Art Direction:
Ah! A technical Oscar! One of the ones I actually care about! HUZZAH!
Sigourney Weaver's dress is gorgeous.
OOOH! The Young Victoria set design was insanely pretty.
Aaaand of course it goes to Avatar. Well that's okay. The art direction was definitely very pretty on that one too.
19. Costume Design! YAY!:
LOL STEVE AND ALEC CONTINUE TO MAKE THIS NIGHT ENTERTAINING.
AHA YOUNG VICTORIA GETS IT! Finally something I can definitely cheer for.
And I declare this my favorite acceptance speech.
20. Precious consideration clip:
Hmm... okay this film I might actually pull for.
21. Special Horror Movie "Tribute":
LOLOLOL
OH STEVE AND ALEC! NEVER EVER CHANGE! YOU ARE ENDLESS FUN!
Taylor Lautner and Kristin Stewart are the presenters, and while they are a little monotone they look very pretty together.
...
Aw crap I'm gonna have nightmares tonight from these clips aren't I?
*whimper*
Wait a minute-
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS IS NOT A HORROR MOVIE FHASLFAHSLKA!
22. Best Sound:
Morgan Freeman!
*fangirls*
I could listen to his voice all day. He's just got one of those calm, gentle, authoritative sophisticated voices. You know?
And both Oscars for Mixing and Editing go to The Hurt Locker. *sigh!* Well okay. I was kind of hoping for one of movies I actually knew about and had watched. Star Trek, Transformers, Avatar... nothing for the films that were actually... you know... fun?
23. Sandra Bullock's dress:
SHINY SPARKLY PRETTY AHSFKLASFLKAS AHSFLANS!
24. Best Cinematography:
What, we get no clips for this one?
Avatar. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm cool with that. Definitely the prettiest looking movie of the bunch.
...
So has anyone else noticed how lackluster the score excerpts for the winning films have been? I mean, besides Avatar's 'cause of course James Horner is awesomesauce.
Oh hey, the scores. That's another technical Oscar to look forward to!
25. Tribute to fallen entertainers of 2010:
Aw crap... thanks Oscars for reminding me of all the great people we lost last year. Roy Disney... Natasha Richardson... now I feel in need of a tissue.
*sniffle*
26. Happy Town TV spot:
Yeeeeeaah... that's creepy. I'll pass on that show thanks.
27. BEST ORIGINAL SCORE!:
YAY!
*eagerly listens*
I don't care who wins. They're all good. So many names I know and love.
...holy cow we're actually getting excerpts of the scores to listen to?
I LOVE THIS YEAR'S CEREMONY! (Though as my sister points out, "They're having hip-hop dancers dance to decidedly non hip-hop music.")
HANS ZIMMER!
*fangirls*
Oooh, The Hurt Locker's score is kinda pretty.
Aww Fantastic Mr. Fox's score is so cute and whimsical.
MICHAEL GIACCHINO!
*fangirls*
(Ally: "I wanna see more ballet!")
JAMES HORNER!
*fangirls*
(I'm sorry, Ally keeps making funny comments about how ill-fitting the dancing is for the music and I keep getting distracted lol-ing at her)
I... I CAN'T PICK A FAVORITE! I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH!
*eagerly listens*
AND IT GOES TO MY MICHAEL! YAY! OH ACADEMY, YOU HAVE WON MY LOYALTIES BACK WITH THIS ONE AWARD!
28. Visual Effects:
Ah! Another technical Oscar. Totally gonna go to Avatar. Avatar actually deserves that one. Most definitely.
And I called it. Lol. Go Avatar. Yes, much as I seem to harp on the film I still gotta admit I enjoyed it and that it was visually stunning and deserves its due credit. I just don't want it to get Best Picture because Cameron's ego needs no more fluffing and the story wasn't all that great.
29. Happy Town TV spot (again):
Go away! Strange creepy TV show thingy with commercials that freak me out! Stop following me!
30. Best Documentary:
Oh great... another anti-meat propaganda film is in among the nominees. I am automatically pulling for that one not to win. (I like my meat thank you.)
YAY THE DOLPHIN BAY ONE GETS IT!
And holy cow... there's Chuck and that con guy from Numb3rs again. I did not know he was involved in this.
31. Best Film Editing:
OH LOL EVEN WHEN THEY'RE NOT ONSTAGE STEVE AND ALEC ARE HILARIOUS!
Ally: "Please thank your underlings!"
They thank their underlings.
Ally: "Thank you! Thank you for thanking your hard-working assistants and underlings."
<3
She is just making this night ten times more fun for me.
32. Best Foreign Language Film:
And I have an automatic favorite in the forbidden love between the Muslim girl and the Christian boy one.
And another one in the French film.
And the Spanish one gets it. Okay. Cool.
33. Avatar consideration clip:
Lulz @ Steve and Alec again.
This is just the trailer footage again isn't it?
And I'm just going to roll my eyes a little at Kathy Bates' hyping and explaining of the story. She mentions the messages of the film. Yeah, the ones you can't miss at all because they drop it on you like a two-ton iron weight.
34. Best Actor:
PRETTY DRESSES!
Yeah, that's all I got. I don't really care about this category so I'm just going to stare at the dresses and ignore what the people are actually saying.
And I'm definitely going to swoon over Morgan Freeman. OOOH! And the sexy accent of that guy who played Scotty in the new Star Trek.
*swoon*
35. Best Actress:
Can it be Sandra so I can see her pretty dress again? Shut up. I love my pretty dresses. That's one of the reasons I watch these things.
Oooh! Or Gabourey! I love her too!
YAY SANDRA GOT IT! OH ACADEMY! THANK YOU FOR CATERING TO MY FIRST CHOICE FOR ONCE!
*stares at pretty dress*
Lol and she's funny too! And YOU GO SANDRA GIVING A TRIBUTE TO MOMS.
Aww and she's tearing up. There there Sandy, it's okay.
36. Best Director:
It goes to Kathy. Awesome.
37. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST BEST PICTURE:
First choice, Up and The Blind Side. Then Precious. Then Avatar (even if I kinda think the story sucks, it's more entertaining than the others).
And it goes to The Hurt Locker. Great. You put the happy positive and actually entertaining movies in the Best Picture nominees for like once in your lives and then you just go and ignore them like you always do. Thank for proving that in spite of your reforms and historic ten nominees that nothing's changed and you still like the GRIMDARK DRAMAS OMG.
Ah well. Least it didn't go to Inglorious Bastards. (Seriously. What were they thinking nominating that one?)
In an attempt to be somewhat organized, as I'm writing this down in the very process of watching it, I will employ the very trusty numerical points system.
1. Pre-show red carpet:
Missed most of it, and anyway most of my thoughts run along the lines of "SQUEE PRETTY DRESSES!"
2. Host Intro:
Meh. I don't know who this singer is but he's not very interesting and his musical introduction of the hosts is a bit boring and lackluster.
3. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin:
Well now... this night is looking up already. At the very least, I can say that the hosts are entertaining. Steve and Alec bounce of each other really well and have great onstage chemistry.
...they might actually be kind of hilarious.
...
Okay, they're definitely hilarious. George Clooney's utterly blank stone face and Steve and Alec just stand there awkwardly a minute not cracking any jokes and then they just go, "...moving on!"
4. Penelope Cruz's dress:
Holy cow, that's gorgeous.
5. Animated Feature Film!:
Princess and the Frog... Princess and the Frog... come on... okay, Up is good too. Of course that means that Up probably won't win Best Picture now and for that I grieve most extensively. (Up and The Blind Side are the two movies I'm pulling for. I will scream in frustration if Avatar get the Oscar. I'm not even kidding. James Cameron's ego needs no more boosting. And Avatar wasn't that spectacular anyway.)
6. Best Original Song:
Wait what? We don't even get to hear the songs being performed at this venture? FAIL! Come on, that would've made the night heaps more interesting. Broken up the monotony of hosts introducing presenters introducing nominees and such.
Aww at least Miley and Amanda's dresses look pretty.
Princess and the Frog... Princess and the Frog... come on... dammit Academy! You snub me once again! We had two great Disney songs up there. Either one would have been acceptable. But nope! You pick the song from the movie I've never heard of again.
Well, at least it's kinda pretty.
7. Best Original Screenplay:
Aside from Up, there's no one I really care about in this one. I'm mostly too busy LOL-ing at the banter between Robert Downy Jr. and... dang I forgot her name... anyway, they have a cute conversation about the differences between what writers and actors look for in a script.
It is quite lolarious.
8. John Hughs Tribute:
That reminds me, I need to rent 16 Candles sometime...
9. Samuel L. Jackson presents the consideration for Up:
*clapclapyay*
Please let this mean that Up still has a chance to snag the Best Picture Oscar. Pretty please?
No I'm not still bitterly resentful of the Animation Age Ghetto, why do you ask?
10. Best Animated Short Film:
Steve and Alec continue to be hilarious. A couple lulz are also had for Zoey and Carey and their "most difficult entrance of the evening". I would hate to walk down those steps in a dress and heels like that too hons.
Lol, the Lady and the Reaper clip was funny too.
WALLACE AND GROMITT!
And it goes to Logorama. "No logos were harmed in the making of this film."
...why has this section been the most entertaining so far?
11. Best Make-Up:
And I'm starting to get bored agaiiiii-holy cow Ben Stiller is dressed up as a Na'vi?
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
TEE HEE HEE HEE!
*too busy lol-ing to form a coherent sentence*
NO I'M SORRY I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO HAVE ANY OTHER REACTION OTHER THAN ENDLESS LAUGHTER. MY HEAVENS THIS IS COMEDY GOLD!
"This seemed like a better idea back in rehearsal."
LOLOLOLOL!
12. A Serious Man consideration clip:
Yep, looks like the typical Oscar-bait boring drama that I've never heard of before it somehow caught the attention of whoever the heck is in charge of these things.
13. Adapted Screenplay:
Jeez, could Rachel McAdams and Jake Gyllenhaal sound any more bored?
Aww... Precious won. Cute.
Wow, I think I'm going to officially name this the Most Emotional Acceptance Speech of the evening.
LOL STEVE. "I wrote that speech for him." PERFECT COMEDIC TIMING!
14. Lifetime Achievement Highlights:
LAUREN BACALL!
*FANGIRLS MASSIVELY*
15. Best Supporting Acress:
Can it be Penelope Cruz? Please? I kinda want another opportunity to look at her gorgeous dress again.
Oooh, Anna is cute too!
And it goes to Mo'Nique from Precious. This is a good night for African American ladies.
16. An Education consideration clip:
Ho hum, typical obscure boring Oscar-bait drama Best Picture nominee.
17. WTH?
I'm sorry, we interrupt your normally scheduled Oscar reactions to boggle at a cervical cancer PSA that disguised itself as a perfume commercial. No, it doesn't help that they lampshade the fact that it was skeevy to trick you like that in the commercial itself.
Starts all nice and pretty, a girl in a nice red dress follows a bunch of sparkles up the stairs and I'm like, probably a perfume commercial, and at the top of the stairs there's the bottle and all of a sudden, CERVICAL CANCER.
And I'm like... "Wow... that was an unglamorous way to end that."
18. Art Direction:
Ah! A technical Oscar! One of the ones I actually care about! HUZZAH!
Sigourney Weaver's dress is gorgeous.
OOOH! The Young Victoria set design was insanely pretty.
Aaaand of course it goes to Avatar. Well that's okay. The art direction was definitely very pretty on that one too.
19. Costume Design! YAY!:
LOL STEVE AND ALEC CONTINUE TO MAKE THIS NIGHT ENTERTAINING.
AHA YOUNG VICTORIA GETS IT! Finally something I can definitely cheer for.
And I declare this my favorite acceptance speech.
20. Precious consideration clip:
Hmm... okay this film I might actually pull for.
21. Special Horror Movie "Tribute":
LOLOLOL
OH STEVE AND ALEC! NEVER EVER CHANGE! YOU ARE ENDLESS FUN!
Taylor Lautner and Kristin Stewart are the presenters, and while they are a little monotone they look very pretty together.
...
Aw crap I'm gonna have nightmares tonight from these clips aren't I?
*whimper*
Wait a minute-
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS IS NOT A HORROR MOVIE FHASLFAHSLKA!
22. Best Sound:
Morgan Freeman!
*fangirls*
I could listen to his voice all day. He's just got one of those calm, gentle, authoritative sophisticated voices. You know?
And both Oscars for Mixing and Editing go to The Hurt Locker. *sigh!* Well okay. I was kind of hoping for one of movies I actually knew about and had watched. Star Trek, Transformers, Avatar... nothing for the films that were actually... you know... fun?
23. Sandra Bullock's dress:
SHINY SPARKLY PRETTY AHSFKLASFLKAS AHSFLANS!
24. Best Cinematography:
What, we get no clips for this one?
Avatar. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm cool with that. Definitely the prettiest looking movie of the bunch.
...
So has anyone else noticed how lackluster the score excerpts for the winning films have been? I mean, besides Avatar's 'cause of course James Horner is awesomesauce.
Oh hey, the scores. That's another technical Oscar to look forward to!
25. Tribute to fallen entertainers of 2010:
Aw crap... thanks Oscars for reminding me of all the great people we lost last year. Roy Disney... Natasha Richardson... now I feel in need of a tissue.
*sniffle*
26. Happy Town TV spot:
Yeeeeeaah... that's creepy. I'll pass on that show thanks.
27. BEST ORIGINAL SCORE!:
YAY!
*eagerly listens*
I don't care who wins. They're all good. So many names I know and love.
...holy cow we're actually getting excerpts of the scores to listen to?
I LOVE THIS YEAR'S CEREMONY! (Though as my sister points out, "They're having hip-hop dancers dance to decidedly non hip-hop music.")
HANS ZIMMER!
*fangirls*
Oooh, The Hurt Locker's score is kinda pretty.
Aww Fantastic Mr. Fox's score is so cute and whimsical.
MICHAEL GIACCHINO!
*fangirls*
(Ally: "I wanna see more ballet!")
JAMES HORNER!
*fangirls*
(I'm sorry, Ally keeps making funny comments about how ill-fitting the dancing is for the music and I keep getting distracted lol-ing at her)
I... I CAN'T PICK A FAVORITE! I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH!
*eagerly listens*
AND IT GOES TO MY MICHAEL! YAY! OH ACADEMY, YOU HAVE WON MY LOYALTIES BACK WITH THIS ONE AWARD!
28. Visual Effects:
Ah! Another technical Oscar. Totally gonna go to Avatar. Avatar actually deserves that one. Most definitely.
And I called it. Lol. Go Avatar. Yes, much as I seem to harp on the film I still gotta admit I enjoyed it and that it was visually stunning and deserves its due credit. I just don't want it to get Best Picture because Cameron's ego needs no more fluffing and the story wasn't all that great.
29. Happy Town TV spot (again):
Go away! Strange creepy TV show thingy with commercials that freak me out! Stop following me!
30. Best Documentary:
Oh great... another anti-meat propaganda film is in among the nominees. I am automatically pulling for that one not to win. (I like my meat thank you.)
YAY THE DOLPHIN BAY ONE GETS IT!
And holy cow... there's Chuck and that con guy from Numb3rs again. I did not know he was involved in this.
31. Best Film Editing:
OH LOL EVEN WHEN THEY'RE NOT ONSTAGE STEVE AND ALEC ARE HILARIOUS!
Ally: "Please thank your underlings!"
They thank their underlings.
Ally: "Thank you! Thank you for thanking your hard-working assistants and underlings."
<3
She is just making this night ten times more fun for me.
32. Best Foreign Language Film:
And I have an automatic favorite in the forbidden love between the Muslim girl and the Christian boy one.
And another one in the French film.
And the Spanish one gets it. Okay. Cool.
33. Avatar consideration clip:
Lulz @ Steve and Alec again.
This is just the trailer footage again isn't it?
And I'm just going to roll my eyes a little at Kathy Bates' hyping and explaining of the story. She mentions the messages of the film. Yeah, the ones you can't miss at all because they drop it on you like a two-ton iron weight.
34. Best Actor:
PRETTY DRESSES!
Yeah, that's all I got. I don't really care about this category so I'm just going to stare at the dresses and ignore what the people are actually saying.
And I'm definitely going to swoon over Morgan Freeman. OOOH! And the sexy accent of that guy who played Scotty in the new Star Trek.
*swoon*
35. Best Actress:
Can it be Sandra so I can see her pretty dress again? Shut up. I love my pretty dresses. That's one of the reasons I watch these things.
Oooh! Or Gabourey! I love her too!
YAY SANDRA GOT IT! OH ACADEMY! THANK YOU FOR CATERING TO MY FIRST CHOICE FOR ONCE!
*stares at pretty dress*
Lol and she's funny too! And YOU GO SANDRA GIVING A TRIBUTE TO MOMS.
Aww and she's tearing up. There there Sandy, it's okay.
36. Best Director:
It goes to Kathy. Awesome.
37. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST BEST PICTURE:
First choice, Up and The Blind Side. Then Precious. Then Avatar (even if I kinda think the story sucks, it's more entertaining than the others).
And it goes to The Hurt Locker. Great. You put the happy positive and actually entertaining movies in the Best Picture nominees for like once in your lives and then you just go and ignore them like you always do. Thank for proving that in spite of your reforms and historic ten nominees that nothing's changed and you still like the GRIMDARK DRAMAS OMG.
Ah well. Least it didn't go to Inglorious Bastards. (Seriously. What were they thinking nominating that one?)