Apoplectic Denial (TBBT/SGA)
Story Title: Apoplectic Denial
Author: Tari_Roo
Rating: PG
Fandom: StarGate Atlantis, The Big Bang Theory
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I profit from nothing, I laugh at everything
Summary: Rodney's plan backfires... just a little. Written for crossovers_las
“I am going to kill that man!”
John calmly wiped the errant spittle off his face, and took a deep breath to counter Rodney’s growing apoplexy. “Rodney...”
“The man is completely and utterly insufferable! Two days, two days! And already he has sent me 153 emails with recommendations on changing the rosters, budget allocations, lab time and access to the Ancient Database! 153! With attachments!”
Rodney stalked past, throwing papers up into the air, waving his hands around like it was a parade, his face red, sweaty and irate. Sheppard took a pre-emptive step back, narrowly avoiding a flailing gesture of dismayed irritation and said, “Rodney,...”
“And he has the audacity, the audacity to correct my equations disproving Yang-Mills! My equations, Sheppard! Mine!”
Sheppard nodded, and leant back against the lab desk behind him, sharing an amused look with Zelenka. Radek, though was nodding fervently, his hair wilder than usual, glasses askew. Come to think of it, John had heard a vitriolic stream of Czech earlier this morning, no doubt directed to Atlantis’s newest member of the Science Team.
“Pompous, arrogant, self serving, egomaniacal, over confident...”
John sighed, “I’m sure that those are all synonyms, Rodney, I...”
McKay whirled on Sheppard and jabbed an irate finger into his chest, “I don’t care... they all apply! And the fact that I can’t think of a hundred more is his fault entirely!”
“Pretentious?”
Rodney absently acknowledged Radek’s suggestion with a hand wave but before McKay built up enough steam to continue his tirade, Sheppard calmly poked the bear in the eye, “Didn’t you expressly demand that Dr Cooper be assigned to Atlantis? Despite the IOA’s misgivings on his security clearance and that he will probably have to stay here for the rest of his life, or until the StarGate is declassified because the man is incapable of lying? Didn’t you insist, nag and berate them for months on end, and whine that he was crucial to further developments on Atlantis?”
Rodney McKay slowly turned purple, mouth flapping like a guppie on steroids and Sheppard slipped another poke in, “And won’t his equations on wormhole theory and null-space help you guys figure out ZPM manufacture?”
The implosion was magnificent and everything Sheppard could have hoped for. Even Zelenka was smiling, as the Rodney-rant reached epic proportions. “.. I would sooner kiss a Wraith than work one more minute with that... that...”
“Dr McKay?”
Rodney spun around like he’d been shot with the paintball pellet on the butt. “What, Dr Cooper!”
Dr Sheldon Cooper, B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D, formerly of Caltech and now of Atlantis filled the doorway with all of his geeky, lanky height. “Forgive the intrusion, but I would like to review the Offworld Team rosters with you as it appears that I have been scheduled for a mission to a world marked,” and Dr Cooper paused to review the datapad, “Hell on Earth?”
McKay snarled, “It’s not open for discussion!”
Sheppard was about to prod his friend in the back, and remind him non-verbally that plotting someone’s murder via Offworld Mission was frowned upon when Dr Cooper drawled in that over educated Texas accent of his, “I beg to differ, Dr McKay as it clearly states in subsection 3.iii a) of Mr Woolsey’s guide for mission protocol, that team assignments are in fact open for discussion.”
There wasn’t even a need for a countdown, as McKay imploded for the second time in a matter of minutes and Dr Cooper actually took a step back as the red faced, diminutive tower of fury stalked towards him. John just pulled a stool over, grabbed Rodney’s forgotten packet of m’n’ms and prepared to enjoy the show.