wretched aspects boiling lately

[targetmarket]

o you sick emotions, poisoners and defilers. come upon me once again to sink needy teeth into whatever good may come along. you're the king of complication, it's always a matter of turning it around to your own gaping holes, what you require or think you require to fill them in, the satisfaction and completeness you cannot reach on your own. and you seek it in forbidden places, the dead and the dying, the sad ones left to live. certain lines and social boundaries that cannot be crossed, and yet you tiptoe across them wishfully, you want them to teeter, totter, slide a little that way, open into opportunity despite the chaos which will be unleashed within the various interconnected circles grounding you to this earth. if only it could be simple, if only, if only you could take what you're given and let that be enough. but no, you've got to grasp for the Other, you've got to connive your way into the pipedream of perfect understanding. you feel those limits must be defied to release you from your bondage, and your longing for extension across the sacred plane turns you against the other Other, the one predating--, the was-there-first. that's the sickest part, not your own personal clusterfuck concerning appropriation, but the backlash in the other direction, the havoc-wrecking descending upon He that does not deserve it, who should never have become the object of such a twisted scorn. but so it goes, the infection spreads, and the deeper you fall into this tangled abyss, the more the knife twists, the more daring angles it cuts into the flesh of your trembling associations.

sick sick curse of stars and desperate mind.